In Which Regressive Dudes Blame A Pandemic on Women Nebulously Existing

What caused coronavirus? Many would tell you it spread to humans from a wet market in Wuhan, China, likely from a bat. The President of the United States would incoherently claim it’s possibly a bioweapon, I don’t know, we can’t rule it out (spoiler: we can) and then start rambling about how Obama did it. His fiercest rival would tell you that you know, Corn Pop down at the city pool told him to wear an onion on his belt to ward off the consumption, and that’s what we have to do with Iran.

What I’m saying is: America, perhaps a bad country?

But one of Reddit’s TOP MINDS has the answer. The true cause of the pandemic are FEEEEEEMALES thinking they can do science. With their LADY BRAINS.

Lotta filling in the blanks here.

Blaming a global pandemic on feminism is so Reddit it hurts, and this take in particular comes from one of Reddit’s GamerGate subs, since that’s still a thing in the hellworld of 2020. You may think that our friend pulled this from his ass – but in fact, he has profound evidence for his theory.

See, the doctor who studied bat coronavirii…was FEEEEEMALE. Obviously she must be a diversity hire, despite having a PhD in virology, and, y’know, China not having any major feminist movement and being an authoritarian state whose policy on ethnic and cultural minorities is hardly progressive.

But if she’s not an incompetent FEEEMALE hired by the wicked feminists of the Chinese Communist Party who let COVID-19 out because she was too busy having her period or something to do math, the only other option is clearly that she let it out deliberately. The woman who studied bats and compiled a database of bat diseases and studied potential treatments either can’t do her job or can only do it villainously. Clearly.

Our intrepid truthteller goes on to say: “I’m honestly disappointed. Everyone defaulted to variations of calling me an incel rather than disproving my point. You’re kind of proving it by your lack of counter arguments”, and presumably would also like you to know that you are the one that is owned, not him, and he is not a incel just because he spends his days posting online about how women don’t have the lobes for science and/or are wicked temptresses, releasing diseases out in the world, possibly to impress some bad boy they’re sleeping with instead of him, who would treat her right, actually.

Looking at our anonymous hero’s history, they also attack the new Star Wars films’ writer for celebrating Women’s Day, write off James Bond for asking Billie Eilish to do the theme, calls Pewdiepie a cuck, and post regularly to “just legbeard thing”, which opposes women attacking one specific type of angry nerd guy by attacking every woman who has ever and will ever live for their dastardly woman-being. Personally in quarantine I took up drawing & started playing through all the childhood games I never finished but you do you I guess

Can Noted Bad Author Dean Koontz See the Future, Like a Modern Cassandra Who Writes One Book Over And Over (Though Odd Thomas Was Alright)?

In 1981 Dean Koontz released a novel called The Eyes of Darkness. It was the prolific horror/thriller author’s thirty-fourth novel in a career that was thirteen years old, and the second of two Koontz novels in 1981 alone; it fit into a late-70s/80s boom period for Koontz after years of forgotten, and now out of print, genre work, and would later be republished after Koontz became a institution, churning out novel after novel about good men and their good dogs fighting bland horror-hriller foes.

(I remember Odd Thomas being okay, though?)

But one man sees through Koontz’ bland writing and formulaic plots to the truth. For you see, Koontz is no mere mid-list horror author whose career somehow survived the demise of the 80s horror boom. He is a PROPHET. A modern Cassandra, whose words were not heeded in 1981, to the doom of us all.

Twitter user Nick Hinton may have been, judging by his Twitter name being ‘nickhintonn‘, the second Nick Hinton to join Twitter, but he’s the first to crack the code about the Koontz code, the hidden prophecies and revelations hidden in middling early 80s horror novels. Wither the Streiber code?

In The Eyes of Darkness, scientists develop a bioweapon called Wuhan-400. The name Li Chen is circled; looking up “Li Chen Wuhan” brings up articles about this supposed “prophecy”, seemingly because there is a whistleblower doctor in Wuhan named Li, a surname shared with a measly 92 million other people in mainland China alone. Truly a prophet at work here.

You’ll note some differences between the real coronavirus and the novel’s bioweapon. For instance, one is a virus and the other is a fictional bioweapon with absolutely no similarities with the real virus beside the name. The South China Morning Post proposed some theories as to why Koontz placed the virus’ creation point in Wuhan; the city’s central position transit-wise, or its status as a center for scientific research, information “smart, savvy authors” and Dean Koontz could use to make a story convincing.

Of course, he didn’t set the story in Wuhan.

According to Snopes, this image of the book describing a Wuhan-created virus isn’t fake per se. But it doesn’t tell the entire story. You see, in 1981, The Eyes of Darkness mirrored the Cold War by calling the virus Gorki-400 and turning it into a plot by the dastardly Ruskies. At some point after December 26th 1991, Koontz rewrote the book to update its xenophobia, which is hilarious to me? And here on February 21st 2020, I wrote this post mainly to make fun of highly successful author Dean Koontz.

On Twitter you can find people citing this as PROOF of predictive programming, or reality being a simulation, like the Matrix in the classic transgender coming out story The Matrix.  As usual the exact mechanism of this prediction goes unexplored. Can Dean Koontz see the future? Did someone leak a rising horror author Chinese government secrets from 40 years in the future in 1981? Did you know 1981 is nearly 40 years ago?

On r/conspiracy the story gained some traction, but not enough as transphobia or a post about how the media is fake because Michelle Obama won a Grammy for an audiobook; dare I look in the comments at r/conspiracy?

No. I’m tired, good night

Demons & Halloween Lies: A Trip Through Hell House

Evangelical Christian culture is an enduring fascination of mine; as someone who grew up secularly, in a left-wing mainline Protestant stronghold it’s so alien to me it feels as fringe as UFO channelers, Indigo children, or internet werewolf cults. Evangelical right-wingers actually make up the largest religious group in the US, but for reasons both intentional and geographic they feel like a weirdo artifact.

Evangelical separation from mainstream pop culture results in, above all, a hidden world of films that are completely terrible in both filmmaking and assumptions about human nature, a world glimpsed by others only in fleeting PureFlix ads on Youtube. We Arrogant Liberal Elites know so little about the culture that large chunks of society belong to; what goes on in the world of people who agree with Mike “Horsefucker” Pence’s views on talking with women (don’t, lest those slutty, slutty whores tempt you into sin by existing in a professional context)?

One element of evangelical culture absolutely confounding to outsiders are hell houses, captured in George Ratliff’s 2002 documentary Hell House, which I somehow missed then despite being deep in my edgy atheist phase.

Hell houses are fake Halloween haunted houses with a Christian message, guiding visitors through scenes of sin that play like community theater Grand Guignol. Blood, guts, and acting that vacillates between stiff and downright feral.

Though the concept started in the 70s, and became common in the 90s, hell houses didn’t attract mainstream notice until one in Cedar Hill, Texas staged a scene based on the Columbine…a mere six months after the shooting. Clearly stung by the bad publicity two years prior, a church in Waco would base a scene off 9/11.

Hell houses naturally attract outrage and mockery, but Ratliff’s film, much like 2006’s Jesus Camp, stays relatively neutral. Instead of on-screen narrators or expert interviews, the believers in Cedar Hill tell their own story, and the film refuses to turn them into a sideshow, shooting them speaking in tongues as if they were singing “Happy Birthday”.

The planning for the next Hell house dives into awkward comedy: a debate over whether the occult “roleplaying game” Magic: The Gathering is called Magic or The Gathering, delight over being cast in “the suicide scene”, portentous talk of how dozens of people die at every rave ever held, a switch in the occult scene’s candles after a warlock’s complaint. But Ratliff plays their beliefs sincerely.

And it’s the sincerity that makes passages of Hell House chilling. A woman whose experience acting in the Hell house led her to forgive her rapist, who attended that Christian event openly; a man who prays over a seizing child to cure him. Moments like this, of course, wouldn’t seem chilling in the culture of Cedar Hills’ evangelicals. Of course you forgive those who hurt you. Of course you attribute healing to God. It’s a clash between fundamentally different views of how the world works.

The climatic trip through the hell house makes you wonder how many people truly come to a place to be converted. Much of evangelical pop culture is aimed at outsiders, but consumed by the in-group. Turns out most people don’t want to watch turgid indie films in the hopes of changing their entire religion. The silliest manifestation of this tendency were Chick tracts, which invariably act as if people who grew up white in America would never have heard of Jesus until someone hands them a cheap comic at a bowling alley. I always wonder to what extent they realize they’re preaching to the choir – the hell house’s visitors are already-converted locals or outsiders tricked by its resemblance to a typical haunted house and more apt to be annoyed than converted.

Most commentary on hell houses attack their most obviously offensive elements – the allusions to recent tragedies – and pass over their hatred of women. Who could ever guess why skeptics & atheists of the 2000s mostly ignored women’s rights unless it let them be racist?

But the “rave” scene involves a woman being date raped, and in the end someone goes to Hell. Guess who? That’s right – the rape victim, who is victim blamed for her rape, kills herself in despair of ever being believed, and is dragged off to Hell. We can only hope the rapist would be granted a chance to repent, and maybe even get a seat on the Supreme Court.

The Columbine scene is here downgraded to a schoolroom suicide (and obligatory Hell-dragging-offing). The true centerpiece is a sequence that combines two hell house obsessions – AIDS and abortion – into one bloody tableau.

Hell houses first attracted controversy by advertising a chance to see AIDS funerals; here, a gay man is dying of AIDS when a woman who just took an abortion drug, and is now bleeding to death because that’s absolutely how abortions work, is wheeled in. He rejects God and goes to Hell; she repents at the last second and is saved.

The final sequence in any Hell house depicts Heaven and, well, heck. A man enters the gates of Heaven; his sins were many, but he was cool with Jesus, so it’s alright. Others descend to Hell, where a man babbles about how being molested as a child made him think being gay was okay (you’d think the child molester would be in Hell too, but I guess he was cool with Jesus, too, so it’s all good).

Here is where Ratliff pierces the bubble and introduces the film’s only critical voice. Our savior takes the form of a group of edgy teens who question the attraction’s homophobia and the concept of someone being damned to eternal torment essentially for having depression. They display the eloquence groups of angry teens are famed for, but the operators can’t really muster a proper response to the idea that, y’know, maybe reality has “nuance”.

Hell houses are far from beloved by the bulk of American Christians, especially mainstream Protestants, who object to conversion by fear. After all, someone who believes exclusively because they’re afraid doesn’t really believe. But the make-your-own-emotionally-manipulative-fake-haunted-house kits still sell, and the Hell house in Cedar Hills is still kicking, even if it doesn’t make headlines anymore.

The conservative culture warriors of the 1980s through 2000s, though, have mostly vanished or pivoted to more overtly political tactics. The Supreme Court legalizing gay marriage didn’t seem like an ending at the time, but the way that – a homophobic city hall clerk or two aside – Republicans basically conceded the victory dropped the curtain on purely cultural or religious rage. It took a few years for the old homophobic, “they’re coming for your children” arguments to resurface, now targeted at trans people, but there’s a distinct directness in their rage. People attack trans folk many ways, but they don’t often say they’re going to Hell.

Part of this is flirtation with an alt-right that’s largely atheistic and more openly hateful, and abiding by the harassment tactics of GamerGate. Dogwhistles are so 1999. Part of this is an openly not-especially-religious President. Part of it just secrecy: Republicans still believe the world is ending soon, they still support Israel primarily due to Biblical prophecies about its existence being a precondition for Jesus’ return, but as long as they don’t say it, anyone that does accuse them of believing what they believe looks like a nutter, don’t they?

Ratliff once said that the people in Hell House do it because they don’t have therapy; that this is how they process and purge their feelings. Within the walls of a hell house, we see the unfiltered id of the right-wing evangelical vomited out for all to see, with no regard for decorum or smarm, and wholly dedicated to saving souls through fraud and trauma.

Therianthropy’s Rarer, Fuzzier Shifts

Yes, here’s yet another dive into therianthropy/Otherkin history.

Therianthropes and Otherkin claim to experience “shifts”, episodes where their purported non-human true identity asserts itself. Commonly reported types of shifts include the mental shift, a change in behavior resembling the animal’s mindset; the sensory shift, where their perception mimics the animal’s; and the phantom shift, where a therian feels the animal’s body as phantom limbs. Other types include dream shifts (guess) and cameo shifts, where therians/Otherkin experience a new identity temporarily. Contherianthropes believe they’re always halfway between human and animal, and suntherianthropes are similar, but do experience variances in the human-animal ratio.

One type of shift that’s widely regarded as impossible by therians is the physical shift. P-shifters, as they’re called, are a subject of mockery and scorn in the community, especially when they try to start a cult.

But once upon a time, a wider world of shifters existed, buoyed by, if not acceptance, a casual flirtation with p-shifting as a hypothetical. This culture likely died out with the switch from Usenet to forums, and with the rise of “grilling”, extensive questioning meant to gatekeep therian communities from…I don’t know, silly people? Kids? Whoever they felt wasn’t taking it seriously enough?

I will be drawing principally from the Shifters.Org definitions, which hail from 2001 but were first created in 1999, and an expanded encyclopedia of the same on Therianthropy.org circa 2006.

ASTRAL SHIFT: You astrally leave your body and become that of another form, either by shifting the appearance of the spirit, or entering the body of another being on this plane (this too is included in the Walk-In section, and overlaps with that of the shapestealer definition below).
AURAL SHIFT: The aura (if you can see them) takes on the shape of the animal/wereside. In addition AS, the person can take on some characteristics of that animal, mentally, but not a total mental shift.

These two are a bit of a cheat: both are still part of therianthropy, and more serious lists of shifts list them neutrally. But they show off early therianthropy’s links to other branches of new age culture. Not only was astral projection part of therian culture, but so were walk-ins, the classic New Age concept of enigmatic astral spirits with nothing better to do than step into your body & attempt to unfuck your life. Auras, too, make an appearance.

Bilocation Shift: In this shift, the “spirit body” of the were in question leaves the “physical form” and reforms itself outside of the human body.  The “new form” the spirit takes is a physical form (ass opposed to the Relocation Shift)

Here we reach the casual flirtation with p-shifting (and with the parapsychological). A modern, more serious therianthropy site describes bilocation shifts more cautiously:

“Bi-location Shifting is when the body supposedly makes a carbon copy of the animal inside the body and travels the lands…not likely.”

But in the therian culture of the late 90s – early 00s, the idea that perhaps someone’s theriotype could physically assert itself was at least entertained.

Therian Nation dates the bilocation shift to a Usenet discussion from 1993 where one member reported a out-of-body experience.

And yes, it says “ass opposed”. You may laugh now.

The relocation shift, meanwhile, is a bilocation shift, but the theriotype emerges from the body as a spiritual entity instead of a physical one; it’s helpfully noted that “the shifter can be both awake or completely oblivious to what is occurring during this shift”.

Shadow Shift: This usually takes place when there is little available light, a sort of mass hallucination if you will, but whatever the case, the object being focused upon, appears to be something else. Unlike the PS, this type of shifting is “looks only,” you wouldn’t gain any extra senses, or characteristics from this… it is, in fact, very similar to just putting on a fursuit (but without the suit).

https://web.archive.org/web/20010424145805/http://www.were.net/WAG/You might think this sounds like pareidolia. A contemporary satire agrees:

“Shadows will sometimes play on a therians features giving them an intimidating and animalistic looking figure. I’ve noticed this occurs more or less in dim and dark rooms, with not very much light. A bright and full moon, insomnia, and/or a bottle of Jack Daniel can also aid in creating a shadow shift.”

(I recommend that piece highly for its early-00s internet edgy humor, by the way.)

But shadow shifting is a nice entryway to the kingpin of the fuzzy end of therianthropy: the p-shifter.

PHYSICAL SHIFTING: The stuff dreams are made of… This shift alone, for those who believe, is a goal for the majority of “Weres” want to experience. This is indeed going from form A to form B with the body as the artistic media. A shift in body, many weres feel with the PS, they can become what they truly are on the inside, now reflecting on the outside.
Also termed the “Holy Grail” of  Awereness.

 

The physical shift is sometimes called the “Holy Grail of Shifting.” But much like the Holy Grail, the actual idea has never come to fruition. Many Therians do not believe the physical shift exists. Of the countless many that have claimed the ability, none have given proof. Anyone that claims the ability to PS shouldn’t be taken seriously until tangible and irrefutable proof is given.

Our satirical friend notes that it’s strangely the “biggest, loudest, and most annoying a$$holes” in the community who are blessed with p-shifting; truly mysterious. But while older sources are willing to entertain it as at least a hypothetical, modern sources are not:

“Widely belived to be impossible, to the point of the concept being considered complete nonsense both by psychological and spiritual therians/otherkin…In no way, shape, or form will you be able to physically shape shift…I personally find that these communities are dangerous especially for younger individuals…If this idea of physically shifting spreads, we will become even less acknowledged and respected…”

I said most of what I had to say about p-shifting in my post on the Therian Temple; so let’s explore the other fuzzy parts of early therianthropy.

SHAPESTEALERS: Also known as ‘Skinwalkers’ and ‘FleshDancers,’ this is a type of shifting feared the world over.

An enigmatic force out to steal people’s shapes, I can’t find a single reference to this not taken word-for-word from the Shifting FAQ. But the idea of an “enemy” out to destroy a tiny subculture of people identifying as nonhuman persisted, up to AWTOK, a bizarre conspiracy theory about a group hunting down Otherkin…but that’s a story for another time.

SHIFTER’S DISEASE

A moment of skepticism, Shifter’s Disease refers to newbie therians attributing everything to shifts.

What’s the ultimate point here? Nothing, except to note the evolution of a subculture from its origin as a bunch of posts on a Usenet for werewolf movies, to a collection of personal websites, to forums and finally to the endless array of personal, yet faceless, Tumblr blogs and Amino boards that form it today; to flashback to a time where some therians could entertain the idea that they could change their shadows, their soul, and even their very bodies, and who’s to say otherwise? After all, people found images of Mary in their toast, and the nascent paranormal web didn’t yet aspire to the extremes of science or outright comedy it does today. And now let’s bilocate my theriotype outta here.

Department of Basic Media Literacy

The Hunt was a Blumhouse-produced thriller written by Damon Lindelof & starring Hillary Swank set for release later this year. I would link a trailer, but the studio’s pulled both the film and all advertising due to a controversy that’s almost unbelievably stupid.

The plot is another take on the The Most Dangerous Game/The Running Man/The Hunger Games formula: twelve strangers, mainly Southerners or otherwise from Nowhereville, Flyover Country, USA, wake up in Europe, where rich people are hunting them for sport. A child could understand that the people hunting people for sport are the bad guys. I saw the trailer, and it seemed almost to skew conservative: after all, it’s about implicitly Trumpian salt-of-the-earth Folks fighting rich elitists.

Anyway, the right decided the rich human hunters were the heroes.

From concerned citizens (“Designer/Singer/Patriot”) to people who’ve cobbled together a vibrant career in right-wing media by being the only two black women in the world to support Donald Trump, the whole wide menagerie of people who can’t be bothered to watch a trailer were outraged. This makes sense, since Hollywood movies often feature heroic serial killer protagonists.

There’s an old meme of right-wingers thinking Darth Vader or Immortan Joe or characters like that are Really The Hero, and it’s impossible to tell how sincere or insincere that is, but it does jibe with an inability to hear about a movie that’s a remake of a story published in 1924 & not conclude the obvious villains are really the heroes.

Trump obliquely referred to The Hunt as a film designed by The Elites to cause divisions in that famously unified nation, America; the film’s advertising had already been pulled due to the baffling trend of acknowledging that blaming media for mass shootings is bullshit, but doing it anyway, just to avoid looking like you’re doing nothing (see Wal-Mart banning violent video game ads, but still selling actual guns, one of the most American things to ever happen), since I know I look at Universal Studios for a solution to gun violence. This goes along with the common argument among conservatives that actors can’t be against guns in real life, because they use them in fictional movies, just like how Mads Mikkelsen must be pro-cannibalism lest he be a hypocrite, and how Robert Englund was widely protested for thinking increasingly silly dream-murders would be bad if they happened in real life. You just can’t play a character and not support what they do in reality, obviously, since reality is a complicated place where you can look at a right-wing fable about The Common (white) Folk rising up against The Elites and conclude it’s a film about heroic rich human-hunters enacting the grand plans of Antifa supersoldiers crafted by a conspiracy to divide America. What a world, what a world.

A Guide to the Naive World of Old Alien Pics

THE DYING ALIEN

Origin: unknown, but probably nefarious; mid-2000s

The best thing about this alien picture is that it shows that somebody somewhere was trying to keep this alien alive. That gives us hope that not everyone that comes in contact with a real alien is looking to exploit them for negative reasons. This picture of a dying alien shows the alien in a seriously frail state but fighting to stay alive. We only wish we knew if the alien in this alien picture won its fight for life.

Naive hopes and musings about how Some People Are Nice To Aliens aside, the truth of this image is simple: it’s a promo picture from The X-Files, specifically “Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man”:

While the coloring is different due to the way it’s shot, the medical equipment and the shape of the alien’s nose and eyes match up perfectly, making it certain this is

The source of the promo picture is unknown, but Kentaro Mori says it came to the internet via a long-gone X-Files fansite.

Really, I posted this for the tone of the site’s prose: the odd, naive, hopeful enthusiasm you find in one strain of Ye Olde UFO Culture. Alien-UFO-Pictures dot com embraces everything with a smiling face and a little hope.

An obvious art piece, created in 1978 before proliferating across UFO books in the 90s and landing on this site long after their creator, Linda Corriveau, stepped forward? Sure. Also, they save it as “Chinese looking alien” which, problematic?

A photo of perfectly normal hieroglyphics with the suggestion ancient Pharaohs wore big hats to cover their big alien heads? Why not!

We are told in schools that the great pyramid of Egypt took 40 years to build and it’s purpose was to bury a pharoah. Come on now, are we that gullible and were the Egyptians that gullible? Of course not, who would spend 40 years of hard labor building a pyramid just to stuff a dead body in it after 40 years of hard work. That hardly sounds logical for such an obviously advanced culture as the Ancient Egyptians. They invented their own language for god sakes, are we to think they were dumb enough to spend 40 years sweating their guts out for only burying 1 body.

Sure, we have many burial sites, engravings, and even books detailing Egyptian death beliefs at length…but isn’t it a bit weird for a society to put so much effort into one person’s grave? Egyptology, debunked (???)

(Side bar: I always love when New Age types talk about how it “can’t be a coincidence” that pyramids exist so many places…even though Mesoamerican pyramids look nothing like Egyptian pyramids, and that they served different functions. Almost like it’s a logical shape for building large structures in bits, or something.)

Like the people from Easter Island who were called the Birdmen Tribe, he too can fly.

Sure! Easter Islanders could fly. Why not!

One image on this site of a “dead alien” is, according to IsaacKoi, a photo of a real dead person, photoshopped to have an alien’s face, since people are awful.

I always love claims of UFOs appearing in paintings because it implies a UFO just flew by while they were painting & they chose to include it, like they just asked the weird pointy alien spaceship to stand still a bit so they could get its lines, since of course it’s impossible for historic artists to be symbolic or use stylization.

Here are 2 pictures of the movie Alien Vs Predator, I found it worthwhile to add them to this alien picture page because so many people search for Alien Vs Predator pictures online.

Serious UFOlogy, everyone!

An alien under arrest, presented without any comment, that originally featured in the sterling pages of the Weekly World News? Why not.


FARM ALIENS

Origin: ???

By comparison to the others, these photos are relatively mysterious. Spreading since at least 2004, these photos are alleged to come from Italy, Mexico, and most commonly England, where one site dates them more specifically to the South of England, November 1999. Further searching reveals a source (thanks to this gloriously Geocities-y webpage), Insidor.com, now long-gone.

Insidor.com claimed the images were from a video, and includes the following story:

Mr XXXX was woken in the night by the sound of a neighbour’s dog whining, and a strange feeling. He ventured outside and saw a strange light in the sky. He describes the light as being in three parts, triangular with the brightest point of light in the front. Mr XXXX went back inside grabbed his video camera, and filmed for 4 minutes. He describes hearing a muffled noise near the end of his garden and approached and filmed what he called ‘strange little ghost’. Mr XXXX claimed to have had strange experience throughout his life and an interest in the Paranormal.

Okay?

The site does have a video section; oddly, it only includes well-known UFO videos like Gulf Breeze, White Sands, and 70s UK TV hoax Alternative 3 and not the video of the literal aliens the site claims they were sent. Strange!

But information isn’t forthcoming, so I’d imagine this was some kind of art project or proto-ARG, given the site’s backstory about “Aquarius”. Still, I love these images because they are all incredibly powerful moods:

Like, same?


CHILEAN PARK ALIEN

Origin: …a Chilean park.

We return to Kentaro Mori for a debunking of this little fella.

I think when I first saw this photo it was identified as being in Moscow; Japanese investigators dubbed it a kappa (…walking over land in Chile?); however, it is definitely from Santiago’s Parque Forestal.

I’ve always loved this one. I love an alien picture that’s just a tiny little guy walking between some horse cops for no reason, and the blurriness of every single thing in frame. Like, genuinely.

But if it isn’t an alien, alternative theories dubbed it possibly: an imp; a ghost; a tree branch; a child or a monkey. Or a hoax.

However, analysis showed it wasn’t a hoax, but mistaken identity: it’s likely a dog, snapped in the middle of an awkward pose, with the “arms” being its hind legs. A weird dog, but a good dog.

Area 51 is a Meme

On September 20th, we will be storming Area 51. You know this. You have seen the memes. You have seen the antics of the alien we stole at 3 AM. You’ve also seen the killjoys rushing in to say “uhhh, you’d get shot?” Absolutely faithless, disgusting, zero out of ten.

Memes about raiding Area 51 are just jokes, namely jokes about storming a compound in the Southwestern US holding diminutive foreigners against their will & liberating them. It’s jokes! This does not stop people from smarmily chiding people memeing about Area 51 to care about the border instead, despite the self-evident fact that any extraterrestrials (& possibly Tupac) liberated from Area 51 would prove a boon to liberating America’s real concentration camps, and the little-known quirk of psychology that people can think about multiple things at once, or, y’know, the obvious processing-in-a-safe-context going on here. It’s still just jokes!

(Though if you really wanted to free them aliens, any true scholar of UFO lore would point you to Dulce, New Mexico instead. Wither the Nightmare Hall?)

3D Phantoms & Nokia Ghosts: A Guide to Vintage Ghost Photos, Part II

Previously…
NOW…
The Ghost Girl

Origin: Allegedly, Indonesia circa 1993; others place it in Sarajevo, Ohio or Texas.

Bei längerem Betrachten dieses Bildes wurden bereits bei vielen Menschen auf der ganzen Welt psychische Störungen festgestellt.

 

Ova slika uslikana je na jednom od mjesta zlocina 1993 u Indoneziji.U ovom hodniku desio se zlocin.Ova slika trebala je da sluzi kao jedan od dokaza u sudnici.Medjutim nakon izrade ova se djevojcica pojavljuje na slikama!!!!!

 

La siguiente fotografía es original de Indonesia, en la época de los disturbios en contra del gobierno en 1993, y la foto fue tomada por un reportero que estaba documentando los acontecimientos en uno de los edificios donde había ocurrido una masacre masiva. El fotógrafo disparo el flash a la estancia, en el lugar exacto donde fue la matanza, para documentar el lugar de los hechos. Al revelar la película esto fue lo que apareció, este suceso ha dado la vuelta al mundo. ¿Nos lo creemos o no?

 

This picture was taken by a reporter in Indonesia, in 1993. The reporter wanted to take a photo of a room where a mass killing was done.When the photo was developed showed this!! It is said that people that were looking at this picture for long, had nervous breakdown problems afterwards.

Spreading at least as early as 2002, and likely earlier, this photo is as classic as it is easily explained.

The origins of the ghost girl are always placed in places of horror: unrest in Indonesia, massacres in Eastern Europe, Ohio. To even glimpse this phantom invokes a curse – those afflicted suffer breakdowns and mental illness.

Why a reporter’s camera would pick up red & green colors is never explained. Such an odd spirit, to distort the world to look exactly like an image meant for 3D glasses.

That’s what this photo clearly is. Frustratingly, my history with this supposed spirit is personal: I vividly remember seeing this image, or at least one like it, in a book in the mid-to-late 90s. It must have unnerved me, for me to remember; when I encountered this photo a few years later my entire reaction was “oh, it’s that photo from that book!”

Alas, the source of it has never been found, so I have no clue if it really was the origin or not. ALAS.


CELL PHONE GHOST

ORIGIN: Allegedly Manila, circa 2003, though earlier uploads may exist

This was taken last week, the girls are using Mobile phone that has a camera, I believe it is Nokia 7650, the girls are having fun, but when they look at the screen of the phone they saw a person next to the other girl and holding her hand. It was so scary.

 

Lo scatto in questione proviene da Eastwood City, Manila, è stata fatta con un Nokia 7250, un telefono cellulare con fotocamera. La storia dietro ad essa narra che due ragazze dopo una notte di divertimenti volessero farsi scattare una foto, così chiesero ad un passante di fotografarle, ma ciò che videro nello schermo del telefono scioccò loro. Un essere spettrale era accanto alla ragazza a destra e sembrava toccarle il braccio

 

This photo was taken at Eastwood City in Manila through a Nokia 7250, a phone with a camera. These two girls were out for the night and they wanted to have their picture taken. After asking somebody to take their picture, what they saw on the phone’s screen shocked them. A ghostly being was beside the girl in right and it appeared to be holding her arm. FREAKY!

A mainstay of ghost websites to this day, this photo is in the resplendent quality of early camera-phones.

Though an easy explanation is that someone moved out of frame as the photo was taken, claims of a double exposure are dismissed as impossible by most sources, and I don’t know enough about early cell phone cameras to confirm or deny. The ‘ghost’ resembles one in a ghost-photo-fakery app, but as we know this photo is really from 2003, it can’t be an app (more likely the app modeled their ghost on this photo, not the other way around). A Ghost Study reader helpfully says:

“I get a strong feeling that the ghost in that pic holding the girls arm was a close friend, or relation. The letter ‘K’ keeps appearing in my mind.

But he doesn’t claim to be a psychic. Just a weirdo online.

Reportedly the photographer & the subjects didn’t report anything unusual, and for once the unearthly appearance of the ghost rules out the possibility that it was, y’know, just a person walking by.

My best guess is “Photoshop, probably?” or “some camera glitch from motion”, but most debunkings gravitate towards “they faked a photo provably from 2003 with an app” and “double exposure, which is maybe impossible, I guess”, so we can at least class this one as Kinda Spooky.


AND NOW SOME FACES IN JUNK

Why did everyone in the 2000s see faces in everything

Na slici se nalazi prizor pozara jednog auta.Obicni pozar il nest malo vise,pogledajte tu vatru!?

Hier ist ein Foto von einem Autobrand… War es ein Unfall, oder eher das Werk eines Flammengeistes???

Und jetzt was Aktuelleres: Bilder vom 11. September von CNN.

A wild time where the Devil was just appearing in every fire and cloud but Jesus was in our toast so it’s all good, I guess

NEXT TIME: Smol aliens

British Goblins and Ted Danson: A Field Guide to Vintage Ghost Pictures, Part I

The Legless Woman

Origin: supposedly 1989; started spreading online in late 90s-early 00s

Eine Familie fotografiert ihre Kinder. Nach dem Entwickeln stellt sich heraus, dass eine Frau auf dem Bild erscheint und in die Kamera schaut, die während der Aufnahme NICHT DA STAND ? …und wo sind ihre Beine ?!?!?

 

Esta foto le fue tomada a la niña en Roma cuando la familia fue de vacaciones. Cuando revelaron la película apareció… ¡Esta mujer de sombrero de paja flotando en el aire

 

Majka je uslikala svoju djecu.Kada su izradili sliku pokazalo se da je na slici neka zena koja gleda pravo u kameru,ali koja za vrijeme snimanja slike nije bila tu!!!!!
uh,ja,a gdje su joj noge!!!!!!??????

 

A photograph taken by Mr Webb of his young daughter shows a woman dressed in black floating legless in the background. While it is possible that the woman’s legs are concealed behind a post, the angle at which she leans does create doubt that the lady is corporeal.

 

Of course, during the time the picture was taken, neither Mr. or Mrs. Webb saw anyone move into their way, ruining the moment they were capturing on film.

Though given multiple origins, the most consistent is that this photo hails from London – more specifically, Covent Garden (hence the more official name the “Covent Garden Ghost”). Sources dismiss the photo being an optical illusion; “If her legs were behind the post, she would tip over (in our estimation)”.

…but her legs are behind the post. Unlike the rest of the photo, she’s in motion – presumably fast, given the visible blurring and her lean forward. The photo caught her with one leg behind the post and the other moving, presumably behind her or behind the post.

As for why they didn’t see anyone, well, who remembers someone you don’t know passing by as you took a photo in 1989?


THREE MEN AND A BABY GHOST

Origin: mid-90s

Ein Studio-Foto von “Drei Männer und ein Baby”. Der Junge im Hintergrund wurde während der Aufnahme von keinem aus der Filmcrew gesehen, erkannt, oder wahrgenommen. Nach langen Ermittlungen stellt sich heraus, dass er vor ein paar Jahren in diesem Raum sein Leben gelassen hat.

 

Este es el famoso fotograma de la película
“Tres solteros y un biberón” en donde aparece una imagen que no debería de estar ahí.
La rumorología hollywoodiense cuenta que se trata del niño que resultó fatalmente muerto en ese apartamento mientras manipulaba un fusil.

 

Za vrijeme slikanja djecak u pozadini se nije vidio,ali otkud odjednom na slici????Nakon istrazivanja pokazalo se da je prije nekoliko godina ovdje umro taj mali djecak!!!!!!

The Three Men and a Baby ghost is well-trod ground by now, debunked by Snopes in 1997. It’s a standee of Ted Danson from a deleted scene, and the film wasn’t shot in a real house.

THE CAVE GOBLIN

Origin: 2001-2

Let’s close on the big one, the one image inescapble on Ye Olde Ghost Sites.

Das folgende Bild war ein Beweisfoto in einer polizeilichen Ermittlung. Ein Fotograf wollte in einer Höhle Bilder machen (Khaimah) obwohl Einheimische ihn nahezu anflehten, die Höhle nicht zu betreten. Gegen Mittag rief er die Polizei, weil er fürchterliche Schreie in der Höhle vernahm. Stunden später fand die Polizei den Mann, dessen Körper vollständig zerlegt war. Seine Kamera lag neben ihm. Als die Polizei im Zuge der Aufklärung den Film in der Kamera entwickelte, waren sie geschockt. Da kein weiterer Beweis für die Aufnahme gefunden werden konnte, gab man als Todesursache an, er sei von einem wilden Tier angefallen worden. Guck Dir das “Tier” mal an…

 

Ova slika bila je dokaz u jednoj policijskoj istrazi.Fotograf htio je u jednoj pecini da napravi nekoliko slika(Khaimah),iako su ga domordci molili da ne ulazi u pecinu.Negdje oko podne fotograf je nazvao policiju i rekao im da cuje uzasne zvukove unutar pecine.Nekoliko sati kasnije policija je nasla tijelo fotografa,cije je tijelo upoptunosti bilo izjedeno i istrgano.Njegova kamera nalazila se odmah do njega.Kada je policija izradila film imala je sta i vidjeti!!!Medjutim posto se nije moglo drugacije objasniti,policija je navela da je fotograf napadnut od strane nekih zivotinja.
Pa pogledaj malo te zivotinje!!!!1

“This is a true story in Ras el Khaimah, United Arab Emerites. This picture has been released as a police report evidence in the UAE. The story is that a young man went in the caves in Ras el Khaimah to take pictures in caves known to be deserted, with a friend. He had been warned not to go. The person who had been with him called the police saying he had seen his friend’s flash go off and then his friend screamed. He called his friend but never got an answer and got scared that he’d fallen so went to the police. A few hours later they found the man in the cave dead and the single picture found in his camera is this one

The photo looks real. It looks scary. It even has precisely the blown-out, harried quality that fits what it was always spun as – the last known photo of a man who went missing in a cave, usually said to be in the UAE.

Theories ranged from an alien, to a chupacabra, even to a decomposing body in a ravine (since when we die we become goblins, I guess).

But in reality, the source was quickly uncovered – the cave monster is really…

a statue in an English tourist trap.

Interestingly, it was debunked by the Fortean Times years before it became a hit online.

The creature is a fiberglass model in Crystal Quest, an attraction at Cheddar Grove. For proof, goblin-selfies flourished:

The spread of the story “irritated” tourism officials, though it’s since faded, though occasionally it gets repeated by…hollow Earth newsletters? Okay. Crystal Quest itself is gone, replaced by a new attraction called Dreamhunters.

Which means it’s loose now.

And it’s behind you.