Month: July 2014

That’s No Moon, That’s a…Hologram, Just Like the Real Moon, WHICH I REMIND YOU IS NOT REAL

I don’t believe we landed on the Moon. This isn’t because of the flag waving or anything wrong with the gravity. The moon landing is a hoax because THE MOON IS NOT REAL

The SHADOW GOVERNMENT has gone too damn far and yet the SHEEPLE keep lapping it up. They’re always out there looking at the Moon like they don’t know THE MOON IS A HOLOGRAM. It makes me sick that these people don’t know the truth like I do. Ignorant Sheeple!

How far back has this been going on? WHERE DOES THE RABBIT HOLE START? Let’s go down the rabbit hole here. Have you seen a SINGLE PHOTOGRAPH of the Moon from before the 19th century? I DON’T THINK SO. So Queen Victoria is the one who started this scheme. Who knew her aims, but I’m sure they weren’t pretty – just like she must not have been, to remain a virgin her whole life.

Werewolf MediaI have a friend who lives down on Bray Road and they point out the effect on werewolves. IN FACT, HAVE YOU SEEN ANY WEREWOLVES LATELY? They seem to have disappeared from the historical record…JUST BEFORE THE 19TH CENTURY. COINCIDENCE? SURE, OF COURSE IT IS, YOU IGNORANT SHEEPLE. The holographic moon clearly stops them from transforming. Maybe they were peaceful, majestic creatures and all this Hollywood propaganda portraying them as murderous is just a scheme to demean them and support the HOLOGRAPHIC MOON REGIME?

How many people have been killed to keep the TRUTH from the people? I might be next! You never know what evil depths the MOON OVERLORDS will sink to.

Where do they project the Moon hologram from? What a stupid question. It’s from the tenth planet Nibiru, which has been making its way to the Earth for the last few centuries – HMMM, AND WHEN DID THE MOON FIRST APPEAR AGAIN!?!  They’re trying to prepare us for the COMING CATACLYSM – yeah, so when Nibiru appears they’ll shut off the Moon hologram and we will never know the difference. This is so self-evidently obvious if you’re an ENLIGHTENED GENIUS like me but I know your ignorant Sheeple brain has such a problem comprehending these objective, understandable facts.

There’s a principle called Ockam’s Razor that says the simplest explanation is always the best one, and what’s simpler? A GIGANTIC, ANCIENT BALL OF ROCK orbiting our world, that’s been around for millennia but people never thought to go there until recently, or it just being a hologram?

Here’s a question: have you EVER been to the Moon? Of course not. Only a few astronauts ever have. Hmm…why aren’t they sending us ALL there if the Moon exists, I ask you? WHY DON’T WE ALL HAVE MOON ROCKS? Oh right, because the Moon is a fucking Hologram and you have been LIED TO by the powerful lobbyists for Big Moon.

My organization Astronomers for Moon Truth will do all they can to expose the truth, but it may not be enough. THEY’VE BEEN IMPLANTING MOON-BELIEF IN US FOR SO LONG WE MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO UNDO THE DAMAGE THEY HAVE DONE TO WEREWOLVES AND ALL THOSE WHO KNOW THE TRUTH. Wake up, Sheeple! Where is the outrage!

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“The energy bolts give the necessary conditions for these other dimensional civilizations to be able to start experimenting with our universe and/or planet.”

This document is the alleged result of the actions of one or more scientists creating a covert, unauthorized notebook documenting their involvement with an Above Top Secret government program. Government publications and information obtained by the use of public tax monies cannot be subject to copyright. This document is released into the public domain for all citizens of the United States of America.”

“They have started to send probes here, in order to know more about the natural conditions or our universe and planet. The probes are limited to one specific semidome of energy, a circle, in a field where they have scanned the energy bolt…”

Lately, conspiracy theories have been depressing. A lot of bigotry and people eager to write off tragic incidents as “false flags”. What happened to the aliens-and-Area-51 conspiracy theorists of yore?

Well today I bring you all something truly magical: documents about life on other planets, supposedly from an official of some shadowy agency. It’s just one of many documents on a wonderful site I must explore in the future. (more…)

An Update

Previously I’ve mocked a post by a health blogger named Mike Adams. Well, the notorious “health ranger” has now written a post called “Biotech genocide, Monsanto collaborators and the Nazi legacy of ‘science’ as justification for murder” that compares GMOs to the Holocaust and ends by saying “it is the moral right — and even the obligation — of human beings everywhere to actively plan and carry out the killing of those engaged in heinous crimes against humanity.” Uhhhhhh. WOW.

More here.

“That’s a Mannequin”: In Which I Reach My Breaking Point

One uncomfortable aspect to running a blog like this is the question: am I mocking the mentally ill? Well, are conspiracy theorists mentally ill?

I don’t think so. Not generally. You don’t have to be insane to believe wrong things. (more…)

WHERE DO TOP MINDS GET THEIR NEWS?

Kay: We’re gonna check the hot sheets.

Jay: THESE are the hot sheets?

Kay: Best investigative reporting on the planet. But go ahead, read the New York Times if you want. They get lucky sometimes.

newsCongratulations, r/WorldNews. You are IRRELEVANT for…citing news sources usually regarded as reliable!

So let’s see what journalistic sources r/conspiracy relies on for THE TRUTH.

The most cited news source in the week’s top 25 submissions (excluding text posts, which were all rants about r/WorldNews anyway) are:

IMGUR. Nine submissions, including:

  • Two Imgur albums of images where arrows are pointed at random things in images of the Boston bombing, somehow proving it’s a conspiracy. One of these albums is thirty-seven images long.
  • Uncited quotes from famous people.
  • Two images of the Gaza bombing that killed those four teenagers. You “won’t see this on MSM news”, the title promises. I first heard about this story when it was discussed on MSNBC IT WAS FIRST REPORTED BY NBC. Notably, there are many news stories on this event one could link to instead of contextless images – but citing real news wouldn’t help you PROVE that the LAMESTREAM MEDIA is keeping it all secret.
  • A uncited political cartoon
  • And the week’s top submission, a quote from Joe Rogan. The favorite of TOP MINDS everywhere!

REAL NEWS. Seven submissions, including:

  • A Chicago Sun-Times story about a poll.
  • A Rolling Stone article on price-fixing that opens by apologizing to conspiracy theorists
  • Business Insider
  • Two Huffington Post articles, including one quoting noted political expert Eddie Vedder.
  • Raw Story
  • Politico

ACTIVIST SITES. Two submissions from Avaaz.org and Storyofstuff.org.

TWO WEBSITES FOR VETERANS.

The lead image on one of those veteran's sites.

The lead image on one of those veteran’s sites.

AND THOSE RANDOM WEBSITES YOU SEE NOWHERE ELSE BUT R/CONSPIRACY

“Liberty Blitzkrieg”.

From Liberty Blitzkrieg.

From Liberty Blitzkrieg.

“Truth Code”.

Truth Code

Truth Code

“The Free Thought Project”.

GMO

“Police State USA” (which seems to report on police brutality, mainly)

cropped-PSUSA_Header

AND FINALLY, the latest Weird Al video.

What have we learned today?

The Guardian and BBC are unreliable, but you can always trust LIBERTY BLITZKREIG; screencap news stories you see to share on Imgur instead of linking, so that you can claim no one in the LAMESTREAM MEDIA is covering the story; even conspiracy theorists like Weird Al.

The Sinister Truth Behind The…Vancouver Canucks!?

200px-Vancouver_Canucks_logo.svgThe Vancouver Canucks are not a great hockey team. They’ve yet to win the Stanley Cup despite three finals appearances. Yet according to one since-deleted entry on Craigslist, they’re up to something altogether more sinister.

What’s happened is the following.

In the late eighties or early nineties, members of the Vancouver Canucks have masqueraded themselves as federal officials and have appealed to both the Canada Post of British Columbia, and to a number of municipal banks, and have advised them that they have been a part of a federal mail censorship program. The program was rerouting mail through the banks for their own perusal, as they had many targetted pieces which they were not allowing to be sent on. They would appear at banks all over the province, still to this day, rifle through what had been routed through them, take things, and then allow whatever was left over to be passed on. This could include love letters, letters from realized long lost relatives, scholarships, university acceptance letters, federal official communications, prize winnings, job offers, summer camp invites, etc. They, and only they know where all of this mail has gone.

So members of the Vancouver Canucks are stealing mail from banks across British Columbia and no one’s noticed this but this one Craigslist poster. No one notices the weekly visits from hockey players, who are of course unrecognizable and obscure in hockey-ambivalent Canada, posing as federal officials to take mail because…? (more…)