The Vancouver Canucks are not a great hockey team. They’ve yet to win the Stanley Cup despite three finals appearances. Yet according to one since-deleted entry on Craigslist, they’re up to something altogether more sinister.
What’s happened is the following.
In the late eighties or early nineties, members of the Vancouver Canucks have masqueraded themselves as federal officials and have appealed to both the Canada Post of British Columbia, and to a number of municipal banks, and have advised them that they have been a part of a federal mail censorship program. The program was rerouting mail through the banks for their own perusal, as they had many targetted pieces which they were not allowing to be sent on. They would appear at banks all over the province, still to this day, rifle through what had been routed through them, take things, and then allow whatever was left over to be passed on. This could include love letters, letters from realized long lost relatives, scholarships, university acceptance letters, federal official communications, prize winnings, job offers, summer camp invites, etc. They, and only they know where all of this mail has gone.
So members of the Vancouver Canucks are stealing mail from banks across British Columbia and no one’s noticed this but this one Craigslist poster. No one notices the weekly visits from hockey players, who are of course unrecognizable and obscure in hockey-ambivalent Canada, posing as federal officials to take mail because…?
Alternatively: it’s a good thing they can pose as Federal officials because they certainly can’t pose as a hockey team! Haha, I only follow hockey casually and don’t know shit about the Canucks.
This is not all. Several years ago, it was decided among current, modern members of the team, that they would erect a platform that was organizing spy-based content in real time from inside of private residences across the province, including unknown private audio and video surveillance. This content was then made privately available on a subscription-based service for persons to privately watch, like a cable platform. The headquarters of this organized crime are in North Vancouver, and they are fortified in such a way as to see all the way into East Hastings of East Vancouver. The group organized here is rumoured to have been rersponsible for organizing the US Navy yard shootings that occurred several years ago.
The current members of a professional hockey team decided to create a private network of security cameras in people’s homes so that they could turn these feeds into a service for people who really want to subscribe to footage of people in their houses. Of course. Why didn’t anyone think of it before!
And holy shit, the Canucks are “rersponsible” for the US Navy Yard shooting! This astoundingly deranged post even managed to work in some false flag nonsense. And I’m sure the Maple Leafs are behind 9/11, because they know a lot about things collapsing (the joke is that the Maple Leafs are bad).
For months, in my own investigation of these affairs, I have relied on compliance with a team of federal investigators for the duration in compliance with all of my information. For this, I am no longer seeking them directly and first out, and am instead electing to turn my attention to the public and to give them this information instead. They have also played with the people’s lives that they have effected in such a way. For example, witnessing a 5 year old boy in a single instance, say that he could hear the voice of God, and from that moment onward, ensuring that that boy’s family was being poisoned by Risperidone in their water supply in each and every house that they had ever moved into late into his adult life. For the Vancouver Canucks, hockey is a blood sport in the most literal of meanings that this phrase could possibly carry. They don’t play hockey with pucks and hockey sticks, they play it with Our hearts and Our minds and Our childhood dreams and Our familial honor.
They wanna crowdsource their absolutely insane theory about a hockey team ruling Canada by poisoning children.
The dastardly Canucks are playing around with our glowing hearts! But we can see them rise, the FALSE NORTH RULED BY THE SECRET ILLUMINATI HOCKEY CONSPIRACY.
Sufficive to say, our vengeance untoward each and every person that has been involved in this will be quiet, and will have no bounds. This is not a warning, it is an open invitation.
Quiet vengeance: stealthy, or just polite? Wouldn’t want to make a lot of noise when seeking vengeance, eh?
That being said, this is terrifying and I hope this person gets help.
do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers
You know what they say: if women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy – with the STOLEN MAIL and POISON the Canucks will use to conquer the world!
Below: the sinister anthem of the new world order!