Month: August 2014

The Depths of Youtube: Planes Are A Demonic Plot!

The “person pointing at random parts of a blurry screenshot” genre gains a new addition with SKY GOAT DEMON EXPOSED. Planes? No, no. They’re just shapeshifting demons.

demonHe’s not alone in his beliefs, which leads me to think it’s real: it could be a hoax, but this person’s uploaded dozens of similar videos on the subject. Hoaxers are rarely that persistent.

Their other videos include:

…and nearly 200 others.

You know those bizarre deep sea creatures scientists find all the time in the deepest parts of the ocean? Ones who evolved without exposure to light, depending on a thermal vent-based ecosystem? The depths of Youtube also turn up similarly bizarre finds. Such as someone who doesn’t believe in planes, who thinks they’re demons, whose every video consists of them pointing to blurry shit on their computer screen, who somehow isn’t alone in their beliefs and has ardent supporters. Youtube sure is a magical place sometimes.

Previous findings from the depths of Youtube: World War II was a hoax; Vladimir Putin’s keeping dinosaurs from you.

Reddit’s Antisemites Go Old School, Dive Into Blood Libel

Reddit engages in a kind of modern anti-Semitism that’s heavy on ascribing vast powers to “Zionists” without understanding what Zionism means and comparatively light on saying Jews murder Christian babies in order to drink their blood.

This discussion comes courtesy of two Reddit users I’m familiar with. Normally I censor names when posting here, but these people are maybe the most persistent bigots I’ve seen on the site.

One is 4to4: his comments have been posted on the sub r/isrconspiracyracist over a hundred times. And the other user involved, the link’s submitter, is named Antiochus88. Their very username betrays their anti-Semitism (I’m sorry, “anti-Zionism”): Antiochus was a King of the Seleucid Empire who banned Judaism and persecuted Jews; 88 is a code for “Heil Hitler”. He has been posted to /isrconspiracyracist nearly 150 times and mods an explicitly anti-Semitic subreddit.

cult

 

It begins with a link to a eighty minute long video about hidden Zionists (read: Jews) who murder people ritually. All these videos are absurdly long. Racists are never succinct, apparently.

racists

 

After looking at evidence (that they can’t bother to share with us), they’ve concluded that it totally did happen, you guys.

Apparently Jews would bake the blood into bread and eat it. The fact that blood is not kosher and cannot be consumed by religious Jews is obviously unimportant; this is clearly a Reform Jewish Conspiracy!

So no, Jews are not nor have they ever ritually murdered Christian babies for their blood. I – JESUS CHRIST WHY DO I HAVE TO FUCKING SAY THIS IN THE YEAR 2014, HOW IS THIS SHIT STILL AROUND, DID I GET TRANSPORTED BACK IN TIME TO 1214 AND IF SO HOW AM I ON THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW, BUT WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE ASSHOLES

Racism. Noun. The belief that BARACK OBAMA SHOULDN’T LET YOU DIE FROM DIRTY IMMIGRANT DISEASES

obama

 

“I knew this day was coming and have even written about it in past years’ columns.”

And I’ve been looking forward to this day as well: the day where I read an anti-Obama article this thoroughly deranged.

“It was a fait accompli when Barack Hussein Obama entered what was once our White House and only a matter of time until he implemented this Orwellian portion of his program.”

ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD WE HAVE ORWELL. Space Lizard’s Law is in effect and we’re just two sentences in! (more…)

Alex Jones went to the DMV, and What Happened Next Won’t Surprise You At All

A Clinton-era relic, In which Alex Jones thinks taking a fingerprint for identification is literally an attempt to steal people’s identities; screams at DMV employees about having to take the “mark”; compares thumb scans to rape; and confuses not having a driver’s license with being denied the right to travel.

Reminds me of the 80s anxiety over how grocery store scanners would steal your soul: