Month: November 2014

Sexism: A Feminist Conspiracy?

The anti-social justice crowd is quite odd. Once they argued against ridiculous or misguided activism. Now, any moderately liberal belief gets one labeled a “social justice warrior”. A cultural critic who says video games might be sexist turns into a Solanasesque radical out to destroy an entire industry when see through these eyes.

Women concerned about sexism often discuss “the patriarchy”. Now, if you’re the sort of person who understands concepts you may think you know what the patriarchy is: a term for how society privileges men. When people blame “the patriarchy” for sexism, they do not believe a literal group called the patriarchy exists.

One Tumblr user thinks differently. Or, to be more accurate, several Tumblr users: their staff page lists off seven mods, including the moderator of r/TumblrInAction and I Don’t Need Feminism. Permutation of Ninjas, described as a blog that’s “dedicated to debunking SJ myths and encouraging open and honest discussion”, was asked a question:

Would you class patriarchy as conspiracy theory?

Not if you understand what words mean, no.

Feminist male-perpetration patriarchy theory shares many characteristics with what most people would describe as “conspiracy theories.”  It would not, in our eyes, be terribly unreasonable to describe many formulations thereof as being close enough to warrant the label.  (Weasel words, yes, but important ones.)

You acknowledge that you’re using weasel words, but they’re important ones, so it’s okay.

Social justice and anti-social justice bloggers are united by a mutual love for thesaurus fucking. They talk like they’re bullshitting a English essay, because that’s what they think smart people sound like. Why say “I think you could say it’s a conspiracy theory” when you can say the same thing in twice as many words?

When we look at conspiracy theories, there are a few key elements.  The first is extremely high-level efficient covert organization, the “shadowy cabal” so to speak.  The second is the clear division of the world into “good” and “bad” elements, creating an inherent moral simplicity and tracing all “evil” (so to speak) back to the supposed conspirators.  The third is the concept of overwhelming odds, the idea that the “whistleblower” group is inherently fighting an asymmetric battle against a vastly superior foe.  Two other characteristics are often (but not always) present: the argument of antiquity (ancient conspiracy), and the lack of factual or evidentiary support.  (The latter is generally present, but one example of a factually-supported conspiracy would be Watergate.)  There are many other common characteristics, but we’d describe these ones as the “core” of what makes a conspiracy theory what it is.

That’s…a decent definition, actually. Though I’d add that belief in a conspiracy theory usually means you assume that anyone who doesn’t believe is ignorant or stupid (aka “sheeple”).

So does male-perpetration patriarchy theory meet these criteria?  We would argue that the answer is probably “yes.”

Besides not believing in a conspiracy, this idea I don’t understand is just like a conspiracy theory!

The first criteria is the most obvious: patriarchy theory, in essence, makes the claim that since before the beginning of recorded history men as a class have conspired to subjugate women…

No it doesn’t. It’s not a theory. No one’s claiming that someone just invented the patriarchy one day. Hell, patriarchal attitudes don’t even need to be conscious.

…have succeeded almost completely and universally, and have done so without any evidence of such a conspiracy ever coming to light.

Who’s ever seen any evidence of society favoring men?

They’ve succeeded at doing this despite (for most of history) having no way to communicate with each other over the wider world, and have never (to current knowledge) been overthrown in any major society.

Never in human history has a concept become ingrained in societies across the world without anyone communicating.

The second isn’t hard to see either.  Male-perpetration patriarchy theory neatly divides the world into an “oppressed” and an “oppressor” group, which are conveniently split along sex/gender lines.  Virtually all the evil in the world can be ascribed to the “patriarchy,” which in context is basically equivalent to “men.”

Those silly feminists. If I had a dollar for every time a feminist blames the patriarchy for their problems, I’d have 75 cents!

So what about the “underdog” viewpoint?  Frankly, it’s not hard to see either.  Feminism is one of the dominant social ideologies of our time, receives millions (directly and indirectly) of dollars in government funding, and has more lobbying power than any other social movement we can think of.

That’s why liberals claim there’s a War on Women on the part of the Republican party – because feminists are so powerful! They’ve received millions of dollars from the US government, which they’ve run zero times. Sexism is over!

The top causes among lobbyists seem to be corporations, environmentalism, corporations, government spending, corporations, labor, corporations, Israel and corporations. I have no clue where they found any of this information.

It’s wrought incredible change on our society, both for the better and (all-too-often) for the worse, and it’s been steadily gaining influence throughout the last five decades.  Despite this, many feminists basically claim that nothing’s changed, that society is still completely against them and that they’re a small group of valiant freedom fighters rather than an extremely well-funded lobby industry feared by pretty much everyone.  Feminism, in short, ignores its own power and influence.

This movement that can’t stop people from sending death threats to women who said mildly critical things about video games is a devious, all-powerful force that crushes all in their path. FEAR THEM. FEAR THEM.

I’m simultaneously curious and terrified of learning how feminism’s made society worse in their eyes. Thankfully, they don’t actually say.

Society’s changed, and sexism is a thing of the past. What feminist causes are left besides equal pay and harassment and sexual assault and domestic abuse and industry sexism and…

The remaining two are pretty simple.  The “patriarchy” is generally accepted as coming from antiquity, no meaningful evidence of a global male conspiracy to oppress women, and much feminist evidence regarding the current status of women and men is severely tainted.

The patriarchy just means a society favoring men. It is where misogyny comes from. It is not, in any sense, a literal conspiracy. No one believes it is. No one.

If you’re wondering how the feminist evidence is tainted, keep wondering: they never actually explain how. Instead, we end on this:

Latour’s assertion that conspiracy theorism is to a degree derived from Marxist-inspired critical theory is particularly interesting given the context, as that same theory is a pretty fundamental part of most modern feminism. Surprising?  Not really.  This is something that has in the past affected a number of human rights movements.  Most, however, have largely outgrown it.  Feminism, unfortunately, has not.

Perhaps one day feminism will outgrow the conspiracy theories it doesn’t actually believe in. But unfortunately, not today.

Top Minds React to Ferguson

The r/conspiracy crowd has never much cared about the events in Ferguson. Even though they fear police brutality and control, and the images from the city are pulled straight from their Orwellian nightmares, they’ve just never been able to sympathize with the people of Ferguson for some reason.

Now that the result is in, how do they react? The Top Minds must be furious. They’ll look at police intimidating protesters and think, “Man, this is what we feared! If only the Sheeple listened!” Why, they’ve posted the infamous photo of heavily armed police standing under a SEASONS GREETINGS banner – an image that would be cut from a dystopian sci-fi film as too obvious – so let’s click and take in their anger. Oh, you know they’re going to drag out the 1984 comparisons here. They…

There is no conspiracy here…There was a returned opinion from a grand jury followed by security measures.

…will support the government’s judgment completely.

Oh my God, the city is burning down and looting and violence are rampant and there are POLICE there?! CONSPIRACY!!

I’ve seen no one expressing any sympathy with the people of Ferguson. Just a legion of conspiracy theorists – conspiracy theorists! – supporting the police and government. Elsewhere, they laugh over how a livestreamer “trying to make the residents of Ferguson look victimized for doing no wrong” had his phone stolen.

I can’t tell you how bizarre this. TOP MINDS are defined by not believing “the official story”. If the government announced tomorrow that JFK was killed by Cubans, they’d start saying it was obviously Oswald acting alone. And here they’re telling everyone to accept the government’s choice and support them completely. This is the least self-aware thing I’ve ever seen.

I think the elite won. Everyone will be talking ferguson over thanksgiving, not our wars, not our bankers, not our rampant spending, not our drug war, or homeless population. Just Ferguson and racial violence.

Some people believe Ferguson is a distraction, or an entirely invented event meant to “keep racism alive” (“I do business with Black people from all over & have no racism issues coming from their direction & they don’t get any from me either in this day & age”). There’s even a Wheel of Media Distraction:

w92AAAZ

When conspiracy theorists claim a news story is a “distraction”, they rarely say what it’s a distraction from. But this one does: all of news is a distraction from the War in Afghanistan, apparently, and no one actually cares about LGBT rights. It’s just a red herring no one’s against!

Are you fucking stupid? This place is out of control. Looting, burning of buildings, police, EMT and fire fighters being shot at. I swear you people can turn anything into a “conspiracy”.

I swear you people can turn anything into a “conspiracy”.

I swear you people can turn anything into a “conspiracy”.

I swear you people can turn anything into a “conspiracy”.

I swear you people can turn anything into a “conspiracy”.

I swear you people can turn anything into a “conspiracy”.

I take that back. This is the most self-aware thing I’ve ever seen.

The Week in Conspiracy Theories: Top Minds Explore The Satanic Origins of Feminism, Islamophobia Down Under and More!

Feminism: A Secret Freemason Plot?

Via r/conspiratard comes this jumble of run-on sentences alleging that Feminism is a Rockefeller/Rothschild/Satanist/Freemason conspiracy to make sure the state raises children, not parents.

56561954Feminism is a cruel hoax, telling women their natural biological instincts are “socially constructed” to oppress them. It is elite social engineering designed to poison male-female relations – divide and conquer. By promoting Feminism, the state is able to gain the allegiance of women to promote more government control. Their twin objectives are depopulation and totalitarian world government. Research it so you can believe your own eyes. IT’S A TRAP! IT’S A SET UP!

 

To be a Freemason, in most lodges you have to be two things:

  1. A man
  2. Religious (usually Christian)

But let’s not dwell on those facts. Let’s instead dwell on this site’s bizarre images:

fem 3

Women! They have eyes! The All-Seeing Eye. Money. Government. Women making a hand symbol! Three of them! Looks like three sixes. ARE WOMEN A FREEMASON-ILLUMINATI-SATANIST PLOT!??? Of course! IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW! (more…)

“9/11, 9/11, What Went Down With Building 7?”: The Hot New 9/11 Truther Single by Martin Noakes

Incoherent blog posts and rambling, 20-minute Youtube videos are the norm for conspiracy theorists. But when they get musical, magic happens.

Noted 9/11 Truther Martin Noakes (who appears to be legit) dropped this video in 2011 and it’s racked up 86,452 views and 368 downvotes. A viral hit!

A catchy ballad with Papyrus subtitles and state-of-the-art production values, “9/11 Building 7” is conspiracy-theorist pop’s greatest achievement since The Beach Boys’ “I Get Around (Dealey Plaza With My Secret Cabal of Cuban Assassins)”.

I enjoy the random names flashed up behind him. AGENDA 21, Anders Behring Breivik, a quote from Joseph Goebbels (Nazi). How it implores you to research the Georgia Guidestones and NIKOLA TESLA (!?). And how the end credits thank David Icke.

And there’s a whole genre of truther music, apparently.

Previous adventures into Musical Conspiratism: “My Ebola” and Dave J’s hater anthem.

Found via r/Conspiratard

Man Who Thinks WWII Never Happened Strikes Back At Haters With a Song

Dave J is back! He who does not believe WWII happened, who somehow has grown less comprehensible over time. And now, he’s striking back at haters – with music!

Adopting the persona of Pedro, who’s going to sing a song to the hater contingent, because they “have no creativity whatsoever” and he needs to do it for them. An unexplained second voice accompanies Dave J and “Pedro”. A song for all those weird, wacky ideas that sounds like beat poetry, were the sound good enough to discern anything. Something something moon. The title is “Dave j is so stupid we have to Get pretty HIGH Hoax song” and I don’t doubt he was very, very high when making this. And maybe a bit homophobic.

“You evil men just go look at the light in the sky you call the moon/for me, every day, rockets blast off/And NASA can’t tell me no wrong…”

Watch it below:

Water With Nothing In It That Protects Against A Threat That Doesn’t Exist: Only 20 Bucks!

Homeopathy is the idea that medicine without anything in it is the most potent medicine of all. Chemtrails are a conspiracy theory among people really freaked out by contrails. And now, they meet: for just twenty dollars, you can buy some homeopathic chemtrail detox formula off of eBay! Don’t worry; the seller has 99% positive feedback, so they can be trusted!

r/conspiratard user CBLF breaks down the “ingredients” in this formula and they’d be quite worrying, if there was even one particle of them left in this twenty-dollar water that “cures” something that doesn’t exist. Homeopathy, everyone!