The Secret Link Between Netanyahu and Ron Paul, Revealed by a Terribly Written, Outrageously Stupid Crank Site

Before the internet, cranks thrived on the margin of society, in mailing lists and zines, conventions and VHS tapes spread around by cults. Their exposure to the mainstream came largely in the form of green ink: deranged letters to newspapers, named for their tendency to be written in vibrant green ink – the written equivalent of Papyrus font.

The internet didn’t kill green ink. Instead, it turned into a rainbow of bizarre news sites, memes and e-mail forwards. You no longer needed to send that list of President Clinton’s victims to a skeptical editor; now, you could cut out the middleman entirely. The fringe prospered as sites with names like “Libertyblitzkrieg” and “AboveTopSecret” hawked conspiracies right to their believers.

One such site is Whatsupic. Honestly, I first thought it was a satire site, but there’s no disclaimer in sight. It’s a conspiracy site whose main preoccupation is Israel. Israel’s bringing us to the brink of WWIII, Israel did 9/11, Israel rules the US, Israel rigged the last two Presidential elections to ensure that Ron Paul didn’t win. Wait, what?

Noted awful person Benjamin Netanyahu was recently re-elected to lead Israel. Many people are not happy. But not for these reasons:

So outrageous was the whole debacle of Netanyahu’s recent bout of addressing Congressional traitors…

Something I wanted to cover on this blog, but now it’s too late, was the recent trend of attacking Congressmen for “treason”. #47Traitors trended after a bizarre letter was sent to Iran by Senator Tom Cotton. Even though it was a glorified letter to the editor (green ink backed up by a tremendous amount of green, if you will), that was enough to count as treason. And so, apparently, is going to see Netanyahu’s speech to Congress.

I literally had to ponder for a few days just to find the right words, for what’s happening truly beggars belief.

It was LITERALLY the most outrageous thing I’ve ever seen.

But c’mon. Get on with it already.

Here we have the most powerful country in the world – the US of A. It’s President has understandably sought a diplomatic solution to a problem that in all likelihood will reduce the possibility of a small little problem ever rearing its ugly head – it’s known as WW III!

More build up. So melodramatic.

What country could be starting this war?

You see Israel, a country possessing 300 nuclear weapons and a record of belligerance second to none maintains that Iran, a country that’s attacked no one since 1798, has no right to any!

Estimates on Israel’s nuclear weapons vary due to their ambiguity on the issue, but…

Moreover, Israel proudly boasts of their Samson option – ‘attack us and we’ll destroy every major city in the world.’

The “Samson Option” does refer to Israel’s purported nuclear option, which would seemingly strike many targets in an attempt to take down their enemies with them. This is uniquely terrible of Israel and why they shouldn’t be trusted by the United States, a country that fought a cold war for four decades, keeping their enemies in check by threatening to destroy everything if provoked. It’s almost like nuclear weapons primarily exist as an apocalyptic deterrent, or something.

Nice……. yet they have the temerity to continually state several of their neighbors want to wipe them off the map? Of course the truth is not one Arab or Muslim leader has ever said this.

Except for Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (though Iran isn’t an Arab country), who was mistranslated in a speech to say “Israel should be wiped off the map”, so it was all a misunderstanding – except, whoops, turns out he literally said that, twice, on his website.

It’s simply one of the many fabrications of a Zionist controlled media. They make up complete lies. No sources are ever given…

No sources are given in this article, either. A wonderful commitment to ethics (if nothing else, this blog is about ethics in conspiracy theory journalism).

…no real evidence ever exists but woe betide if you don’t believe everything these pathological liars say. You’re a racist if you do. Coming from the greatest racists in history this sure is a bitter pill to swallow.

If you say racist things, you’re called racist. Can you believe it??? Literally no one has ever criticized Israel without being accused of racism, literally. Literally.

What happens next is magical:

But then along comes one of the nastiest toe-rags in the entire history of mankind – Benjamin Netanyahu. ‘Listen Obama – don’t ever forget – we rigged both your elections just so RON PAUL, the people’s choice, never made it to the White House. As a result you became President. You owe us. You owe me. Our media made certain of this. Okay, I know your people give us billions of dollars every year; I know your country unconditionally supports us too and let’s face it, us lot in Israel make Apartheid look like a cake walk……. but who the hell are you to give peace a chance?’

THIS IS WHAT THE AUTHOR THINKS A PRIME MINISTER TALKS LIKE

Benjamin Netanyahu’s legendary hatred of Ron Paul led to him rigging the elections so that Ron Paul, THE PEOPLE’S CHAMPION, lost. Because Ron Paul had such large support among the crucial “conservative, but smokes weed” demographic and surely would have won.

It’s like a pro-wrestling promo. Netanyahu has taken out Ron Paul and he’s taunting the crowd to draw heat. This is a proper feud. And after he says this, Obama steps out (his intro song? “I am a real American/fight for the right of every man/to not have to prove they aren’t from Kenya…”) to SETTLE THE SCORE.

Someone typed that! This isn’t a satire site, someone typed that with the intention of people BELIEVING THAT’S A REAL REFLECTION OF BENJAMIN NETANYAHU’S BELIEFS. That he rigged the election to make sure Ron Paul, who never made it past primaries, didn’t beat Obama.

Now of course, I hardly expect the media to highlight what I’ve just said

Because what you’ve just said is the apex of green ink.

“…but quite how one of those traitors in Congress, John Boehner, usurped the President by ‘inviting’ this criminal to make his case for even more war by lying again. Yes. Again because this is exactly what he did in his quest to get the US and UK to destroy another country, Iraq.”

John Boehner was behind the War in Iraq now? Not the Bush administration?

“Netanyahu and the lies of a host of other Zionists led to the death of some 1.5 million Iraqis; 5 million more were rendered homeless; the entire country to this day is in a state of utter chaos. I’m still waiting for someone to say sorry. In the meantime the President has been made to look a complete fool.”

Yes, all lies about Iraq came from Israel. And the Republicans would never try to make the President look foolish without foreign inspiration!

“As the link below points out ‘Mr. Netanyahu’s hotly disputed address constituted a remarkable moment in Washington: a foreign leader taking the podium before members of the House and Senate to argue strenuously against the policies of the sitting US president. In doing so, the Israeli leader was essentially urging lawmakers to trust him – not Mr. Obama.'”

The only source cited in this whole article is a link to anti-Zionist news site Mondoweiss, which has been praised and criticized in equal measure. But at least it’s not a Green Ink site and is written by real journalists.

What pleased me more than anything was this: all along I’ve been trying to convince my American friends that their country has been taken over by the dual national Zionists whose allegience is solely to Israel.

I thought “dual national Zionists” might turn out to be a teensy bit anti-Semitic, so I typed “dual national Zionists” into Google and found…anti-Semitic green ink garbage, mainly.

“Time and again I’ve stated ‘you’ve been taken over from within. For God’s sake, take your country back!’ I’m sure many doubters are now convinced this is the case.”

THERE ARE LITERALLY MULTIPLE PEOPLE WHO ARE CONVINCED OF THIS AND WE DEMAND TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY

“Sure, the media made out Boehner invited Netanyahu but how many times have I said ‘believe the exact opposite of what the media says and lo and behold you’ll see things start to make sense.'”

Always, always believe the opposite of what the media says.

“We can call the race, Barack Obama has been re-elected…” “MITT ROMNEY IS PRESIDENT.”

“There was a car crash today. The driver of one car was killed, while the two passengers of the other car survived with minor injuries.” “TWO PEOPLE ARE DEAD. :/”

“We give Wild Hogs two thumbs down.” “Wild Hogs is gonna win the Oscar this year!”

ALWAYS. It just makes sense!

“So now I ask – do you honestly believe Boehner is that daft?”

YES.

“This was all Netanyahu’s doing. He’s a madman who’s ego is in the stratosphere. It’s up to us to now pile on the pressure because this link will show that right now there is no better time for Americans to break this demonic tie they have with Israel. For the sake of the world, Israel needs to be isolated.”

Literally everything is Netanyahu’s doing. He wasn’t even Prime Minster of Israel during the build-up to the Iraq War, and you found a way to blame it on him. This goes beyond critique of foreign policy to call US-Israel relations literally demonic. Literally.

Naturally, this bit of frothing green ink has been submitted twice to r/conspiracy. While today’s re-submission has been mocked, the first submission sits at +1446.

If only Ron Paul, THE PEOPLE’S CHAMPION, hadn’t had his campaign destroyed by Benjamin Netanyahu, noted pro-wrestling heel. If only!

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