I have an announcement to make.

I have long chronicled the absurdities of the conspiracy theorist movement here on the Space Lizard Report. I’ve covered 9/11 truthers who think a viral ad is real, blurry bald people being mistaken for alien Voldemorts, and a very, very high Youtuber who believes every war is a hoax. I’ve looked at people who think feminism is a conspiracy and the delusional nerds of GamerGate, who see everything as feminist “censorship” of video games. How the Moon is a hologram. And also whatever the hell this is.

its-mediaYet last night I realized a terrible truth. Everything these people said was true. Only I realize the truth. For you see, I am the Son of the Godhead. And reptilians rule the world.

They’ve taken over all world leaders. The Queen of England. Barack Obama. Zlatan Ibrahimović. They control the media, but I’d like to reassure you that it’s not a racist thing. My followers may make it a racist thing, but to me it’s just reptilians. Horrible reptilians.

If you don’t believe me, then just witness my patented process to PROVE someone is a secret reptilian.

abevigoda

Here we have a typical image of a world leader. Looks human, right? Bold. Strong. Sexy. A real leader of men.

abevigoda2

Look at these anomalies. I think they speak for themselves. This photo requires further analysis.

Let’s start applying my process to his image to see the true image underneath:

abevigodaemboss

Verdict: REPTILIAN. Look at his eyes and his mouth and his pointed, reptilian chin. Human faces don’t look like that!

abevigodaneg

Verdict: REPTILIAN. Humans shouldn’t be GREEN, now should they?abevigodaneon

Verdict: REPTILIAN. The red outline around him represents his holographic illusion field.ahhhhhhhhhbevigoda

Verdict: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

So here we have a powerful world leader, revealed as a reptilian alien out to sabotage the world.

Want to know more? Then buy my upcoming book, “Secretive Secrets: The Secret Plot to Secretly Destroy the World Secretly”. Only 29.99, available wherever books are sold. Or you can buy my speeches, or Insider Access to the Space Lizard Report to learn more about these beliefs I definitely hold. Insiders can watch my many rambling, incomprehensible, 40-minute long Youtube videos. Just for you!

Join the revolution. Ditch the Reptilian zero and get with the hero. Me. The Son of the Godhead. Who understands the reptilian menace. Who didn’t trip out hard while watching V, but actually discovered these things. Actually. The future starts now!

Advertisements