THE FUCK IS THAT? WHAT IS THIS SPINDLY ASS, HEADLESS JUNJI ITO LOOKING MOTHERFUCKER? IS IT FROM A MOVIE? TELL ME IT IS. THE FUCKING HELL IS THIS. IS IT A RUNNING NAKED PERSON AND A FUCKED PHOTO, WELL NO WAY OF THAT, BECAUSE EVEN THE PROSPECT OF A PHOTO FUCKING UP THIS MUCH IS TERRIFYING.
I hear this is the Jersey Devil but I’ve SEEN the Jersey Devil and he’s nice! He’s a goat! A flying goat whom you can pet!!
Look at this FRIENDLY GOAT, on his way HOME to talk with his LOVELY HUSBAND, and tell me he’s the same as the BODY HORROR above.
THIS is the Jersey Devil. He has ATTITUDE and he fights PUMPKINS and he can’t MOVE PROPERLY IN THREE DIMENSIONS. He doesn’t look like the smoking worm guys from Men in Black on METH!
Look at that SMILING, SMILING FACE. Sure, he’ll make it illegal to pump your own gas, but he won’t MINDFUCK your PERCEPTION OF SPACE.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? IS IT WHAT REMAINS OF CHRIS CHRISTIE’S SOUL? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Cryptozoologists! Please explain!!! What is it, and in this one case I’ll accept “ALIENS” as an answer.