1984

The World’s First Anti-Propaganda Search Engine Places Users in The Biggest Echo Chamber Ever

Mike Adams, the Health Ranger, runs the website Natural News. It’s exactly what it sounds like. When we last saw him, he was calling all non-conspiracy theorists mentally retarded and compared pro-GMO journalists to Nazis and said people had a “moral right” to kill them. Now he’s created a innovative new search engine, a new idea that disrupts a industry by ensuring that you will never again see new ideas.

“For the last six months, I have been working hard on the development of a breakthrough search engine that will finally offer a credible search alternative to the NSA-funded, surveillance-state search engines currently dominating the web.”

This new search engine will keep you from seeing the propaganda that you will see anywhere but my website. You can trust the Health Ranger, because my site isn’t LITERALLY a NSA-funded scheme to spy on you.

“Next week, I’ll be opening the webmaster URL submit page for the world’s first independent, anti-propaganda search engine that filters out corporate propaganda and government disinformation.”

The first search engine that makes sure you don’t have to see any ideas that you don’t agree with. For too long, the denizens of the internet have had to suffer through seeing people who don’t think the same as them. Well, no more! In the past, you might have avoided ever, ever leaving your personal echo chamber by only going to garbage sites like Natural News for your news. This will automate the process. Never be challenged again!

“Uniquely, this independent search engine either bans or flags (with a warning) all corporate propaganda and government disinfo websites. Just as Google flags search result URLs containing malicious code that can infect your computer, we will flag search result URLs containing malicious propaganda that can infect your mind.”

I wonder what propaganda the brave Health Ranger will keep from infecting our mind? It must be pretty awful

“This means you won’t find the CDC’s vaccine propaganda dominating search results, for example.”

It’s the CDC. The CD-fuckin’-C. Their “vaccine propaganda”, otherwise known as “science”, will stop dominating search results. They’re given undue weight, just because they’re “accurate”. This is LITERALLY oppression.

“Instead, you’ll find a universe of independent websites that have been suppressed, censored or outright banned by Google.”

A universe of websites not found easily on Google, just because they might start ranking sites by accuracy and Natural News would be somewhere on page 9,975,256 in any search.

“Google’s search results are now determined by each page’s so-called “factiness” — a new algorithm that punishes all content which disagrees with official sources such as the criminally operated CDC, the pharma-controlled science journals, and biotech-infiltrated universities.”

They rank pages based on “factiness”, a horrible algorithm that punishes content just because it disagrees with sources that “know what they’re talking about”.

“This shift effectively makes Google a real-life Ministry of Truth that censors the truth and promotes corporate propaganda (and government disinfo), all while spying on you to boot.”

In my first post on the Health Ranger, I proposed Space Lizard’s Law: if you live in a country where you can freely compare the government to 1984, then you aren’t living in 1984.

Google is just like the Ministry of Truth. It censors the truth – except it doesn’t do anything to stop competing search engines from existing. It doesn’t torture you if you use Bing, since (insult Bing joke here). Its “propaganda” is judging, objectively, whether facts are true. Google has zero power to force you to use Google, so of course it’s like the propaganda arm of a dystopian dictatorship.

“Think about it: Google heavily promotes Wikipedia, a discredited disinfo and defamation website largely edited by corporate-funded trolls hiding behind anonymity. Even though Wikipedia was co-founded by a “porn king” and carried child porn imagery on its site, Google gives it high rankings while punishing the independent media websites that actually publish the truth.”

One of my favorite things about Wikipedia is Googling (oh no, the Ministry of Truth is going to get me for making their trademark generic!!!) some alternative medicine topic and the first result being a Wikipedia article that outright calls it pseudoscience. I won’t get into the bizarre attack on Jimmy Wales. He’s apparently unreliable because he ran a porn site and covered it up – except it’s mentioned on his Wikipedia page and has its own extensive page. That’s like shredding documents in a copier.

Remember, though: you can’t find the truth out there. You can only find the truth in here. Only I, the Health Ranger, speak the truth. Trust me. TRUST ME AND ME ALONE. I’m sure there were similar speeches given in Jonestown.
“Google also strongly favors mainstream media news sources — precisely the news outlets that spew the most blatant disinformation about everything that matters: Central Banks, government debt, politics, economics, health care, immigration, crime, culture and more.”
Google strongly favors popular, widely read media sources. CONSPIRACY!
“The day is probably not too far off when Google and Facebook ban all independent media websites.”
Strange how your site still pops up when I type in “Natural News”. They’re doing a poor job of suppressing independent websites, then, but I’m sure they’ll just all disappear one day.
“When that day comes, it’s projects like the one I’m launching that will be the last remaining portals to real journalism and independent reporting.”
But everyone will be fine with letting these alternative search engines, run by pseudoscientific health bloggers who constantly tell their followers that they are the only ones telling the truth, proliferate. Just like 1984!


What a magnificent echo chamber this will be! The main problem with social media is, no matter how tightly you construct your personal bubble, dissenting views will occasionally slip through. Now your right to never be disagreed with will be protected. Some people think they have the right to disagree with you just because they’re objectively correct. Well, no longer! Bring on the hive mind!

Conspiracy theorists trying to rename themselves because everyone knows how terrible they are

These days, conspiracy theorists get a bit of a bad rap. I mean, they deserve to be looked down on, but not too long ago conspiracy theorists were thought of as harmless kooks rambling about aliens or the JFK assassination (which is kind of odd, given how the big conspiracy theory of the 90s was the Clinton murder list). We’ve gone from Art Bell to Alex Jones, and the popular perception of conspiracy theorists has changed from “might tell you about Area 51” to “will yell at grieving family members because they believe shootings aren’t real”. Also, the anti-Semitism.

But one brave soul on Reddit has a solution: rebrand conspiracy theorists!

“Just saw this suggestion, Since the term “conspiracy theorist” is getting tarnished by the media…”

For good reasons!

“…a good alternative would be “Event Skeptics”. Thoughts?”

Oh god.

Hang around any conspiracy theorists for a while and you’ll learn how much they prize skepticism. And to be a free critical thinker, you must agree with them completely. And not only are conspiracy theorists the true skeptics for questioning the “official story”, anyone who isn’t one is just a sheeple who does as they are told! And now an attempt to rebrand people who think bombings never happened as “Event Skeptics”. God.

“Really, we need to drop “conspiracy theorist”. It paints a huge bulls-eye on our backs. Also, CT’s are soon to be considered domestic terrorists or extremists…”

[citation needed]

We need something else.”

You could try not being a conspiracy theorist. That is very much an option here. An option you should try.

critical

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

CT

“They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.” – Carl Sagan

holmes

I’m starting to think there’s a reason people hate conspiracy theorists, but I can’t quite figure it out. Hmmmm…..

Orwell

“Renaming something to sound nicer? What the fuck is this, 1984!?”

The powers that be will take down conspiracy theorists. And so they’ll fight back with…ONLINE PETITIONS! YEAH! Just like in 1984!

Should conspiracy theorists rename themselves? Well, I’d suggest they give their cause a more accurate name, like “Shitheads who won’t shut up about how no one died in that terrorist attack because of their persecution complexes and arrogance” but that might be a bit long. So conspiracy theorist should stay for now.

The Week in Conspiracy Theorists

NOBODY DIED, NO ONE GOT HURT

I’ve missed a lot in the conspiracy theory world since mocking #GamerGate back in September. Here is a recap of everything you missed:

  • ISIS DON’T REAL
  • EBOLA: DOES REAL, BUT WHO MADE IT DO REAL???
  • Some assholes putting up a Building 7 collapse billboard in New York

So, ISIS. Is it real? Yes. It’s one thing to say “American policy in the region is responsible for the rise of ISIS” and another to say “AMERICA MADE ISIS”.

Sadly, author and political consultant Naomi Wolf is among those who have hitched a ride on the ISIS-Don’t-Real train, and in the process exposed something rather odd. Not only did the US create ISIS, but they staged those beheadings!

Ah yes, Nobody Died-ism, my old friend. The idea that the government will do something unspeakably horrific, but back off at some odd point: they’ll create ISIS, but they wouldn’t actually behead any journalists! It’s another paradox in conspiracy theorist’s beliefs, much like the classic, “the conspiracy will bring down the twin towers, but refuse to go ahead and kill one crazy person ranting on the internet”.

AND NOW, HITLER.

rconspiracy is a cesspool

R/Conspiracy celebrated Rosh Hashanah by making a six-hour long work of Hitler apologism their featured documentary. Thanks to this, their sidebar was – and for the first time ever, I can say this sincerely – literally Hitler. Happy 5775?

Note: I think I have two-thirds of r/conspiracy tagged as “antisemitic” by now.

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NEWTOWN

I just noticed that one of the links in that screencap is someone pointing out that the FBI’s crime statistics include zero deaths in Newtown, PROVING no one died at Sandy Hook. Yes! Of course! They’ll fake the murders, then…refuse to lie on the crime statistics? What? As always, conspiracy theorists believe two things:

  1. There’s a conspiracy of unparalleled evil that’ll stop at nothing, and controls everything.
  2. They leave obvious clues to their wrongdoing and do nothing to stop random people on the internet from unraveling their plan.

A simultaneous persecution complex and power fantasy. Incredible.

The claim’s been debunked by Snopes; since the state police handled Sandy Hook, the deaths are counted under state statistics.

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THE NEW ENEMY

ByohrpbIYAAShphOne of r/conspiracy’s top posts was this joke about how their favorite holiday was “the annual unveiling of the new enemy”. The comments are a bunch of people who haven’t read 1984 making cracks about how we’ve always been at war with Eurasia.

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MUSICAL INTERLUDE

 

The great thing about being a political musician is that you don’t actually have to make a good song, since only people who agree with you will be listening and they’ll be too busy nodding in agreement to notice that you’re fucking terrible. And why write a song about one thing when you can write a song about all the things? Proposed alternate title for this song: “We Didn’t Start the Fire…Because THEY Started The Fire And Fire Can’t Melt Steel Anyway (ft. Skylar Grey)”.

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MEDIOCRE AND CANCELLED

polls_911_simpsons_5630_727607_answer_1_xlargeThe X-Files spinoff The Lone Gunmen is famous for exactly one thing: freaking 9/11 truthers out. See, the pilot features a plot to hijack a plane and fly it into the World Trade Center. I know this because I watched it, live, as it aired. This fact occasionally gets brought up on Reddit and freaks everyone the fuck out.

I’ve always wondered, though, what truthers are saying by pointing this out? There’s a massive conspiracy and they planted clues to it happening in popular media because…? Supposedly, to “prepare” people for 9/11. Because…?

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ACTUALLY CREEPY SHIT

Despite what some may say, gaming is not under assault by vicious feminist succubi out to take away your games. Gaming has nice allies, like the military it glorifies in endless militaristic first person shooters. Hell, there’s even a game made as a recruitment tool for the army.

Call of Duty director David Anthony believes there should be plainclothes soldiers in schools to prevent attacks. “The public won’t like it, they’ll think it’s a police state”, he says, “when we have a new product that has elements that we’re not sure how people will respond to, what do we do as a corporation? We market it, and we market it as much as we can–so that whether people like it or not, we do all the things we can to essentially brainwash people into liking it before it actually comes out”.

Holy shit. Some guy literally said there should be armed soldiers in classrooms and the public needs to be brainwashed into liking it, least they think they’re in a “police state”. So what are the TOP MINDS saying about this?

“My high school already has security, including an armed police officer. Having a soldier in our school wouldn’t be much different”

“Implying kids actually play CoD for the story. Pretty much everyone I know who buys the yearly CoD release plays the campaign mode once then only plays multiplayer after that.”

Keep fucking that chicken, r/conspiracy!

Note: the lengths people will go to in order to not discuss gun control are incredible. “How do we protect kids in the case of a school shooting? Maybe we should implement gun-” “YES, WE SHOULD ARM EVERY TEACHER. IT’S THE ONLY WAY.” Keep fucking that chicken, society???

Racism. Noun. The belief that BARACK OBAMA SHOULDN’T LET YOU DIE FROM DIRTY IMMIGRANT DISEASES

obama

 

“I knew this day was coming and have even written about it in past years’ columns.”

And I’ve been looking forward to this day as well: the day where I read an anti-Obama article this thoroughly deranged.

“It was a fait accompli when Barack Hussein Obama entered what was once our White House and only a matter of time until he implemented this Orwellian portion of his program.”

ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD WE HAVE ORWELL. Space Lizard’s Law is in effect and we’re just two sentences in! (more…)

“It’s the age of the Tea Party, all government is bad. That’s why they threw an amazing, award-winning plan into the trash.”

Conspiracy theories are, generally, harmless. They may become a target of unhealthy obsession for their advocates, but they usually don’t harm anyone else in and of themselves. But this isn’t always the case. Sometimes conspiracy theorists can harm the people, and world, around them.

Agenda 21: a non-binding UN resolution calling for sustainable development. Passed in 1992 and signed by many world leaders, including George H. W. Bush.

But if you ask conspiracy theorists, Agenda 21 is something far more sinister. It’s a threat to American sovereignty, it’s a plot to take away your property, it’s going to destroy the Constitution!

And that’s why people fought an award-winning development plan in Baldwin County, Alabama and killed it in 2012. Smart growth and urban development had become something more:

“This battle is more than just planning,” the county commission’s chairman, Robert James, said that day. “This is to protect the Constitution of the United States and what’s in it and, to me, even the Ten Commandments that God gave us.”

In attacking the Baldwin County comprehensive plan, James, the county commission chairman, invoked the names of Hitler and Stalin, Mao and Mussolini, and how their “plans, guides, outlines” resulted in the deaths of millions of people.

(more…)

The Conspiracy Theorist Ideology in a Nutshell

“Natural News” (“See real-time breaking news on: GMOs, fluoride and heavy metals”) posted an astonishing article entitled, “Refreshing rationality: Why NOT believing in conspiracies is a sure sign of mental retardation“.

With a title like that, how can you go wrong? Well, quite easily.

The phrase “conspiracy theorist” is a derogatory smear phrase thrown at someone in an attempt to paint them as a lunatic. It’s a tactic frequently used by modern-day thought police in a desperate attempt to demand “Don’t go there!”

First paragraph and we have a Thought Police reference already!

We need a term for unwarranted 1984 comparisons. Perhaps a Space Lizard’s Law: If you live in a country where you can freely read and discuss 1984, then making a comparison to 1984 causes you to immediately lose any argument. (more…)