Transphobia

Angry Internet Man Has Glasses-Fueled Breakdown

[cw sexual assault, discussion of pedophilia]

Today’s post takes us to the world of anti-SJ blogs, which are an endless circlejerk, a never-ending procession of screams and tired Otherkin jokes issued from a chorus of boring edgelords.

I don’t even really have to introduce this person, as you know their type if you’ve ever navigated the less employable segments of internet discourse. Their Twitter profile, of course, opens up by identifying as some kind of absurd Otherkin type, before segueing into a “if you disagree with me, you’re a bigot” message, because as we know, modern feminism is known for its pro-Otherkin agenda.

patriHave you ever seen a comedian absolutely bomb? Have you ever watched, cringing, as they tried to salvage a terrible act before a hostile crowd? Well, the only thing sadder than a failed comic is a failed troll. Our protagonist today made a post where he made all the Disney Princesses Caucasian and threw them in front of an American flag, and received a grand 21 notes, none of them even angry. His Patreon has raised $10 thanks to the efforts of eight people.

Of course, it’s not hard to see why. Edgelord trolls, by and large, are aiming their work at an audience of fellow edgelord trolls, with the big names regurgitating the same tired memes like a pelican feeding her chicks, but somehow less dignified. The audience of easily outraged feminists reading their every posts simply does not exist. These circles do not intersect, but they’re so eager to believe that they offended someone that they’ll leap on anything as evidence. Anti-SJ blogs fall for parodies more readily than any group this side of Facebook grandmas reading The Onion, but at least that looks like news, and isn’t some outrageously shitty, unsubtle “I’m a black trans disabled agender asexual dildokin xD uWu” Tumblr parody. Anything to escape the fact that they’re sharing their offensive jokes within an echo chamber of people who aren’t going to be offended.

The one exception to their target’s lack of interest is when a blog introduces us to a concept so breathtakingly, bafflingly inane that the broader internet takes notice. And today I want to introduce you to a phrase that’s simple, but endlessly hilarious: “Problem glasses”.

I considered, at first, that this was a parody. But the line between genuine and satirical in the anti-SJ world blew up thanks to four little words: “little white cuck ball”, and GamerGate’s inexplicable war on oddly colored hair showed us that the anti-SJ world does ascribe political significance to the most random shit. So on we go! Patri-Archie-Comic’s stern warning about problem glasses, in its full glory:

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I’m not sure what I can even add to this. “Problem glasses” is an inherently hilarious phrase. “Problem glasses” was not created, it just is. “Problem glasses”, apparently also known as “grandma glasses” or “pedo glasses” (more on that in a bit!), appear to just be…glasses, since the examples offered don’t even look the same.

Words used by “problem glasses” wearers include basic feminist terminology, because there’s nothing anti-SJ types dislike more than incredibly basic terms they don’t understand, as well as concepts like “trans-ethnic” that only exist as anti-SJ fever dreams, and even New Age-y things like headmates and Otherkin. I don’t seem to remember when Anita Sarkeesian declared herself a dragonkin plural with a radical pro-headmate agenda, but I might’ve just missed that video.

Mocking them as “pedo glasses” is interesting, because elsewhere, they’re pretty much fine with pedophiles:

patrip

“As fun as it was to rip into this person and call her a pedo, I actually agree with her opinions, which I tore apart, because…LOGIC AND REASON?”

Let us now just dwell in the magnificence of “problem glasses”, and rue the fact that we can never create something as hilarious, even though we’re trying to be funny.

Found via 9Volt.

“You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet”: One Pastor Reveals Barack Obama’s Frankly Incomprehensible Plan to Ship All Black People To Africa

Dr. James David Manning runs Harlem’s Atlah Worldwide Church. He’s also very concerned about Barack Obama sending African-Americans back to Africa in this bizarrely hilarious video from 2012.

Why? He doesn’t really say. Perhaps to solve America’s economic problems, and crime problems, and industrial problems, as this pastor – who is, I must point out, is black – believes. But he does reveal that Obama is working with Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, George Soros* and Bill Clinton to send all black people to Haiti or western Africa. And that Obama is the son of Satan.

“When we go back to Africa, Al Sharpton will be the President. TD Jakes will be your President.”

You’d think the Presidents and Prime Ministers of the countries of West Africa might object, but I’m sure Ellen Johnson Sirleaf is fine with it.

And holy shit, is it intense. “PRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY. MAYBE WE CAN STAY IN AMERICA. MAYBEEEEEEEEE!”

But the really hilarious part is the sudden change of tone about five minutes and thirty seconds in. He leaps from fire-and-brimstone preacher to morning show meteorologist in seconds. It’s almost like it was an act or something!

Via r/conspiratard.

*I’m amazed that, after all this time running this blog, I haven’t run into any George Soros conspiracy theories until now. He’s also into FEMA conspiracies and is a birther.