British Goblins and Ted Danson: A Field Guide to Vintage Ghost Pictures, Part I

The Legless Woman

Origin: supposedly 1989; started spreading online in late 90s-early 00s

Eine Familie fotografiert ihre Kinder. Nach dem Entwickeln stellt sich heraus, dass eine Frau auf dem Bild erscheint und in die Kamera schaut, die während der Aufnahme NICHT DA STAND ? …und wo sind ihre Beine ?!?!?

 

Esta foto le fue tomada a la niña en Roma cuando la familia fue de vacaciones. Cuando revelaron la película apareció… ¡Esta mujer de sombrero de paja flotando en el aire

 

Majka je uslikala svoju djecu.Kada su izradili sliku pokazalo se da je na slici neka zena koja gleda pravo u kameru,ali koja za vrijeme snimanja slike nije bila tu!!!!!
uh,ja,a gdje su joj noge!!!!!!??????

 

A photograph taken by Mr Webb of his young daughter shows a woman dressed in black floating legless in the background. While it is possible that the woman’s legs are concealed behind a post, the angle at which she leans does create doubt that the lady is corporeal.

 

Of course, during the time the picture was taken, neither Mr. or Mrs. Webb saw anyone move into their way, ruining the moment they were capturing on film.

Though given multiple origins, the most consistent is that this photo hails from London – more specifically, Covent Garden (hence the more official name the “Covent Garden Ghost”). Sources dismiss the photo being an optical illusion; “If her legs were behind the post, she would tip over (in our estimation)”.

…but her legs are behind the post. Unlike the rest of the photo, she’s in motion – presumably fast, given the visible blurring and her lean forward. The photo caught her with one leg behind the post and the other moving, presumably behind her or behind the post.

As for why they didn’t see anyone, well, who remembers someone you don’t know passing by as you took a photo in 1989?


THREE MEN AND A BABY GHOST

Origin: mid-90s

Ein Studio-Foto von “Drei Männer und ein Baby”. Der Junge im Hintergrund wurde während der Aufnahme von keinem aus der Filmcrew gesehen, erkannt, oder wahrgenommen. Nach langen Ermittlungen stellt sich heraus, dass er vor ein paar Jahren in diesem Raum sein Leben gelassen hat.

 

Este es el famoso fotograma de la película
“Tres solteros y un biberón” en donde aparece una imagen que no debería de estar ahí.
La rumorología hollywoodiense cuenta que se trata del niño que resultó fatalmente muerto en ese apartamento mientras manipulaba un fusil.

 

Za vrijeme slikanja djecak u pozadini se nije vidio,ali otkud odjednom na slici????Nakon istrazivanja pokazalo se da je prije nekoliko godina ovdje umro taj mali djecak!!!!!!

The Three Men and a Baby ghost is well-trod ground by now, debunked by Snopes in 1997. It’s a standee of Ted Danson from a deleted scene, and the film wasn’t shot in a real house.

THE CAVE GOBLIN

Origin: 2001-2

Let’s close on the big one, the one image inescapble on Ye Olde Ghost Sites.

Das folgende Bild war ein Beweisfoto in einer polizeilichen Ermittlung. Ein Fotograf wollte in einer Höhle Bilder machen (Khaimah) obwohl Einheimische ihn nahezu anflehten, die Höhle nicht zu betreten. Gegen Mittag rief er die Polizei, weil er fürchterliche Schreie in der Höhle vernahm. Stunden später fand die Polizei den Mann, dessen Körper vollständig zerlegt war. Seine Kamera lag neben ihm. Als die Polizei im Zuge der Aufklärung den Film in der Kamera entwickelte, waren sie geschockt. Da kein weiterer Beweis für die Aufnahme gefunden werden konnte, gab man als Todesursache an, er sei von einem wilden Tier angefallen worden. Guck Dir das “Tier” mal an…

 

Ova slika bila je dokaz u jednoj policijskoj istrazi.Fotograf htio je u jednoj pecini da napravi nekoliko slika(Khaimah),iako su ga domordci molili da ne ulazi u pecinu.Negdje oko podne fotograf je nazvao policiju i rekao im da cuje uzasne zvukove unutar pecine.Nekoliko sati kasnije policija je nasla tijelo fotografa,cije je tijelo upoptunosti bilo izjedeno i istrgano.Njegova kamera nalazila se odmah do njega.Kada je policija izradila film imala je sta i vidjeti!!!Medjutim posto se nije moglo drugacije objasniti,policija je navela da je fotograf napadnut od strane nekih zivotinja.
Pa pogledaj malo te zivotinje!!!!1

“This is a true story in Ras el Khaimah, United Arab Emerites. This picture has been released as a police report evidence in the UAE. The story is that a young man went in the caves in Ras el Khaimah to take pictures in caves known to be deserted, with a friend. He had been warned not to go. The person who had been with him called the police saying he had seen his friend’s flash go off and then his friend screamed. He called his friend but never got an answer and got scared that he’d fallen so went to the police. A few hours later they found the man in the cave dead and the single picture found in his camera is this one

The photo looks real. It looks scary. It even has precisely the blown-out, harried quality that fits what it was always spun as – the last known photo of a man who went missing in a cave, usually said to be in the UAE.

Theories ranged from an alien, to a chupacabra, even to a decomposing body in a ravine (since when we die we become goblins, I guess).

But in reality, the source was quickly uncovered – the cave monster is really…

a statue in an English tourist trap.

Interestingly, it was debunked by the Fortean Times years before it became a hit online.

The creature is a fiberglass model in Crystal Quest, an attraction at Cheddar Grove. For proof, goblin-selfies flourished:

The spread of the story “irritated” tourism officials, though it’s since faded, though occasionally it gets repeated by…hollow Earth newsletters? Okay. Crystal Quest itself is gone, replaced by a new attraction called Dreamhunters.

Which means it’s loose now.

And it’s behind you.

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Distant Encounters: the Delightful Stupidity of Skinwalker Ranch’s Bulletproof Wolf

Nessie, Area 51, Roswell: names like this define UFO and paranormal lore. This is not a series about them. In Distant Encounters, we tour the strangest, most isolated tales of encounters with the unknown.

Skinwalker Ranch is a fascinating little footnote in UFO lore. A ranch near Ballard, Utah, it gained fame in the mid-90s when a series of stories by journalist George Knapp in the Deseret News documented strange events witnessed by its new owners, the Shermans. The Shermans reported seeing:

…three specific types of UFOs repeatedly during the past 15 months – a small boxlike craft with a white light, a 40-foot-long object and a huge ship the size of several football fields.

But Skinwalker Ranch truly enters UFO lore when the National Institute for Discovery Science, a paranormal research organization founded by businessman Robert Bigelow, acquired it in 1996. The NIDSci folded in 2004 after discovering precisely jack shit.

Yet a faithful remains, and today’s story concerns one of the many entities detailed on the Skinwalker Ranch’s delightfully Web 1.0 website. Despite being maybe the most-researched UFO hotspot in the world, photos of the Ranch’s alien entities – which include sentient mist and alien portals – mostly document just one unearthly being.

The Bulletproof Wolf.

This “dire wolf” like creature has long dirty mangy grey/black hair.  Has a proud, intimidating, and intense like presence.

Intense like presence. It’s clearly proud, clearly intimidating, but merely intense adjacent.

At this time I am unsure if it is hostile or friendly, my impression was neither more majestic and to be feared in nature.

I wasn’t sure if the wolf was hostile, so I shot at it as much as I possibly could.

Large sturdy body structure.  Has an unusually long and bushy tail.

A scary wolf with the fluffiest tail in the world!

Has a penetrating stare, but is unable/unwilling to communicate verbally or psychically.   

This wolf must be an alien: it’s incapable of the speech and telepathy normal wolves are famed for.

Said to show up about %15 of the time, the bulletproof wolf is oddly the subject of nearly all entity photographs.

Look at this goddamn monstrosity, um, walking. Away from us. What is this dastardly alien direwolf planning?

How could there possibly be a reddish-furred, bushy-tailed, wolf-like animal in the Southwestern United States? If such a thing existed, science would know about it.

NOPE, it’s a composite witness sketch of the Beast of Bray Road – a werewolf myth from Wisconsin. Here it is on the site of Beast of Bray Road researcher Linda Godfrey.

…yes, I recognized it off the top of my head.

If you enjoy swiping from better-known legends, you’ll enjoy the Skinwalker Ranch’s Youtube channel, which includes videos on the Paulding Lights and New Jersey’s ghost car.

Chupacabra’s my favorite small ungulate.

That’s not a bulletproof wolf. It’s a testament to your inexplicable inability to either identify or shoot coyotes.

If you’re curious as to the site’s records of other, less wolf-adjacent entities, here’s a photo of one of its famed alien portals opening.

And that tells you everything you need to know about Skinwalker Ranch.

Distant Encounters: the Hat-Wearing Little Green Men of Texas

Today’s tale hails from 1913, two miles west of the northeastern Texas burg of Farmersville (population 3,301). But the people involved told no one until 1978 – out of fear? Fear of ridicule over having one of UFOlogy’s few run-ins with literal little green men?

Brothers Clyde, Sid and Silbie Latham chopped cotton on their family’s farm. A mundane scene interrupted by the barking of dogs. The Latham brothers scramble to investigate and find, as Silbie told FATE in 1978:

“a little man only 18 inches tall…He didn’t seem to have on any shoes but I don’t really remember his feet. His arms were hanging down just beside him. He had on a kind of hat that reminded me of a Mexican hat. It was a little round hat that looked like it was built onto him…everything looked like a rubber suit including the hat.”

The 18-inch man’s rubbery skin was smooth, dark green all over (Fate, 1978) – including the strange, hat-like protrusion. The brothers considered the bizarre visitor, the alien before them, and reached out in a spirit of peace. Contact began, and everyone prospere-nope! Their dogs viciously murdered him a second later. According to Silbie Latham:

“Red blood spilled everywhere and the being’s insides, which looked like human organs, fell to the ground.”

Ah yes, at least we discovered the defenseless alien visitor did in fact have human-esque organs, and blood, so very much blood, and so we can know for sure that in those few confused seconds he felt all the pain just as intensely as any human being. A successful first contact!

“Unable to cope with the whole matter, the boys retreated to their work; the dogs stayed near them the rest of the day, as if frightened. “

The dogs were frightened…at discovering what they were capable of, much like in Air Bud: There Ain’t No Rule A Dog Can’t Be a Retired Enforcer, Weighed Down By His Terrible Sins.

The boys told their parents, who disbelieved them. The following day, the little man’s body vanished without a trace. Two years later, they did see “a mysterious object carrying two lights — one in front, the other in back — sail silently by” near Celeste, Texas. Three years later, Silbie witnessed a fireball falling from the sky, leaving only a circle of gray powder. But the Lathams would never again see a little green man.

Silbie Latham’s story went untold for sixty-five years, when his grandson would report it to the Center for UFO Studies. Even Latham’s own grandson heard the story only reluctantly, after much prompting. And while everyone found Silbie believable, researchers tended to discount his story outright, explaining it away as a prank or a frog. Silbie rejected them all.

Admittedly, Silbie Latham’s little green man probably was a frog. It probably was an ordinary creature that ran into the wrong dogs. But we should still be glad he shared his unbelievable story, and that others won’t wait their entire lives to tell theirs…and that when aliens actually meet humanity, they don’t get torn apart by dogs.

An illustration of the Farmersville Green Man by Eric Kowalick, who has delightful illustrations of many obscure alien sightings.

Distant Encounters: Giant Shrimp in the Laundry Room

Nessie, Area 51, Roswell: names like this define UFO and paranormal lore. This is not a series about them. In Distant Encounters, we tour the strangest, most isolated tales of encounters with the unknown.

One of the weirdest, most obscure cryptids of all time hails from Strange magazine’s sixth issue, an account by one Virginia Staples. Living in Washington in 1948, her apartment building’s basement was improbably large – and riddled with holes.

There were huge holes in the walls and the apartment house manager used to tell me that it was rumored there was a passage to the water.

Doing her laundry, she felt that she was not alone:

There was a washer and a washtub and a clothesline. And on this particular day I had gotten my clothes all hung up but I kept feeling someone was staring at me or looking at me. And it was such a creepy feeling I finally turned around and looked towards the back of the basement and froze. I was so scared I can still feel it. I couldn't move. In one of the huge holes in the basement there stood this thing.

According to the transcript of her phone call, she broke down here as she described what she saw.

Oh, it was horrible! I stand five foot tall and this creature was as tall as I was. It had a bright orange colored body and little spidery thin legs and antennae on its head that kept moving back and in and out.

When the bizarre creature moved towards her, the witness fled. The encounter so unnerved her that she immediately moved out of the building. Seeking answers, she tried to look for another creature like the one she saw:

I went to an aquarium to see if I could see anything that looked like what it was, and the only thing that I could find that looked anything like it was this little tiny shrimp. But it just doesn't make sense.

A couple years later, she bravely ventured back to the city she left – only to find that the building demolished, any answers truly lost.

The creature known only as the “giant shrimp in the laundry room” is a true oddity. A very-mid-00s forum thread discusses the tale:

 

Another poster tells of their own encounter with a scarlet frog that they never found any trace of since; others make Gary Coleman jokes. But no one reports another encounter with a giant shrimp, watching them from a hole in some dusty Washington basement – though we do, delightfully, find fan art of it. Strange magazine’s first-hand reports section includes raw, uninvestigated personal reports, and that’s what they remain: pure, unfiltered stories of the truly inexplicable. Whatever Virginia Staples really saw, she was so scared of it that she uprooted her entire life to escape it. And we’ll never know more.

 

Distant Encounters: The Garbage Cryptid of About.com

Nessie, Area 51, Roswell: names like this define UFO and paranormal lore. This is not a series about them. In Distant Encounters, we tour the strangest, most isolated tales of encounters with the unknown.

About.com was a sprawling lifestyle site, divided into nearly 1,000 pages for any interest under the sun: whether you were a gardener, knitter, or occultist, it was all there. This year, it shut down, rebranded as a more-modern lifestyle brand called Dotdash. Much of its content was lost, and that’s not terribly sad or remarkable, except for the day its Paranormal site spawned a report of a strange creature living in a dump.

A poll asking if readers had seen a cryptid spawned a unique response:

Paula M. had one such sighting. But it wasn’t of a Bigfoot, a sea serpent, or even a chupacabras. In many ways it was much stranger. And try as she might and after diligent research, she has yet to come up with an explanation for what she saw.

1999, Oregon. Paula M.’s hobby is searching junkyards for vintage bottles and glass which, you do you, Oregon. Heading into a off-the-beaten-path dump she had never visited before, Paula M. noticed something unusual:

“As I was staking out the area,” she said. “I happened across some tunnel-like holes in the ground. The holes were of a peculiar size, which made me wonder what kind of animal possibly could have dug them.”

Paula noticed six or seven of the holes, each about two inches in diameter and partially camouflaged by the sparse growth of the recess.

Finding an inviting spot, Paula M. dug in the dirt for nearly an hour in search of vintage bottles with embossed letters which, okay.

Paula decided to take a break from her excavation and stretch her legs. She stood and walked around a bit. “While I was moving about at the bottom of the recess, I thought I saw, from the corner of my eye, a clump of dirt move. It was about the size of my fist”…about 10 feet away from her, the clump of dirt moved, like it was pushed out of the ground from beneath, and rolled down the hill. Paula began to get a little nervous. Whatever had made those tunnel-like holes was apparently making another one. And she wasn’t particularly keen on watching a rat, a snake, or some other potentially dangerous animal come slithering out.

Then she saw it. Something living began to poke itself out of the ground!

The creature emerges, and it’s like nothing Paula M. has seen before:

She stopped about four to five feet away from the creature. What she could see of it was poking out of the ground about five inches. “At this point, I wasn’t sure what end of the animal I was looking at,” Paula said. “It was about two inches in diameter, and the end of it was perfectly smooth and round – like a cue ball. It was light-brown in color, very much like the surrounding earth. It had a worm-like shape, but didn’t taper down at the end as worms do, and was firmer around looking. It had no distinguishing or familiar features to indicate to me what it was.”

Its size made it obvious that this was not a worm – at least not any kind of worm Paula had ever heard of. And she could not see its entire body, only what was poking out of the ground, so who knows what the rest of this thing really looked like…she could not detect any eyes, mouth, nose or ears. It had no fur, scales or worm-like ripples on its skin. What it did have was patches of peach-like fuzz – very fine and spaced apart like the hair on a young human’s arm – covering what looked like soft, dusty skin about the texture of a person’s. It was not wet, slimy or tough looking.

As she studied at the strange, featureless creature, it gave her a startling surprise:

“All of a sudden,” she said, “while I was examining it, two big beautiful crystal blue eyes popped open! Now I knew what end of the animal I was looking at.”

All thoughts of this being some kind of giant worm were immediately dismissed. Worms don’t have eyes – not like that! More curious than frightened of this remarkable animal, Paula began to wonder how big the body was and what its arms, legs, and tail looked like – or if it even had any such parts. “The white of the eye surrounding its blue iris was the whitest I’d ever seen – a pure virgin white. The size of the eyes were quite big in proportion to its body size. I wondered if it were a juvenile.”

The creature remained gentle, undisturbed by Paula’s presence.

“My presence didn’t seem to bother it because it studied me for only a short period of time. Then it ignored me. It appeared content and relaxed while it exposed itself to the sun…Paula was startled when the creature began to move, and she instinctively stepped back. The animal slowly began to sway the top of its body back and forth as it stretched itself upward toward the sky, all the while slowly blinking.

“I tried to get it to look at me again by clapping my hands and yelling, but it continued to ignore me.” Since it had no discernable ears, Paula wondered if perhaps it couldn’t hear sound. So she tried waving her arms and hands about to draw its attention to her. But all it did was stare at the sky, continuing to sway its head back and forth, stretching upward while blinking slowly. It was as if it were hypnotized by the light of the sun.”

After five minutes, the creature retreated back into the ground, leaving more questions than answers:

Paula isn’t quite sure what to make of this peculiar encounter, but it haunts her. “I haven’t been able to erase it from my mind, and it’s driving me crazy! I’ve asked many people about it and have spent countless hours searching the Internet for answers to any known or unknown animal fitting the description of the animal.”

Paula returned to the dump site the following Spring in hopes of getting another glimpse of the mysterious creature. No such luck. Some of the hole openings were there, however. “I am convinced that this animal still exists and lives there. It’s possible that it hibernates, so I will go back again in early to mid-summer and try and get another glimpse of it – and possibly capture it on film.”

No such evidence ever presented itself, but readers eagerly wrote in with their own theories. Someone suggests a misidentified rubber boa, which Paula M. rejects. “Scott” proposes the legendary tatzelwurm. Another says a friend reports seeing a similar creature:

“I have not seen this creature myself, but I know of someone in California who has. It was about more than 30 years ago and the people who saw it were little children at the time. They said they were playing in the backyard in the dirt when all of a sudden this ‘thing’ came sprouting out the the dirt. The brother and sister just watched in horror, holding their breath. The brother described it as a tall, worm-looking thing about 8 feet tall. Up to this day, if the sister asks the brother, ‘Do you remember…?’ he cuts her off and says he doesn’t want to talk about it. I believe in what they saw.” – Natalie W.

The responses contain their own mystery: a suggestion of the “ingots” of Indochina as a solution is complicated by the fact that every result for “ingots” seems to be discussion of this very comment. This e-mail to a defunct website’s coverage of a obscure cryptid is itself the only account of an obscure cryptid.

“I probably won’t be the first or only to inform you that what Paula saw at the dump may indeed be an unidentified Southeastern Asian creature known as an ingot [possibly lingot]. Check with Agence France-Press for stories about ingots during the final years of French involvement in Indochina. They were seen burrowing everywhere, and the descriptions of the bodies and eyes match those of Paula’s story. Old Indochina veterans in the French army could never explain them or where they came from, and there is no record of American sightings during this country’s involvement later. General Jean de Lattre de Tassigny, supreme commander of French forces in Indochina, was so unnerved by sighting of burrowing ingots and the lack of information about them that he brought in a special team of researchers, who apparently found nothing.

“The ingot is like no other creature reported on earth, and it contributed to the general weirdness of the French experience in Indochina. Ingots were reported in large numbers in 1953 around the North Vietnamese site where an entire French regiment vanished without a trace. This disappearance may have had nothing to do with ingots, but there are still old veterans in the cafes of Paris, Bordeaux and Marseilles who swear there was a connection. Incidentally, the reality of the disappearing regiment is well-documented. For a few years in the 1950s, burrowing ingots made big news in France. But France, like the US later, hid its Indochinese veterans and paid little attention to their stories… about anything. Such is defeat.” – Loic C.

Anton B. suggests that the gentle creature was in fact a vicious predator, sizing up its prey:

“I read the article about that weird creature of the dump that Paula M saw. I just think that she ought to be careful going back to look for the creature. Its behavior seems to me to suggest that it is a predator of some sort…his creature obviously showed no sign of fear from the account that was given. This creature even came out of the ground when it was likely that it would have had some sign that there was a large being somewhere in the vicinity. I assume that it had this knowledge as a creature that lived underground would likely be sensitive to vibrations, and be able to determine that something large was around.

“The next thing that makes this creature seem predatory is how it extended itself and waved in the air in a very obvious manner…Of course, I am not a professional in the field of animal behavior, but…I’d just suggest that she doesn’t approach the creature and that she does not go to look for it alone. Perhaps the reason that the creature is unknown is that no one has ever survived an experience with it before.”

Anton B. isn’t a professional in animal behavior, BUT…Paula M did never report back, as far as I can tell, beyond one interview with Jeff Rense that I can’t find any trace of, so yep she was absolutely eaten by it. That’s just science. And if she did ever report back, I couldn’t find a trace of it either, since all the proof is buried deep in the Wayback Machine. This story about a weird cryptid, who defied categorization and explanation, is itself now a kind of internet cryptid.

The Dump Creature: Part 1, Part 2; Comments: Part 1, Part 2

tHE FUCK IS THAT!?

THE FUCK IS THAT? WHAT IS THIS SPINDLY ASS, HEADLESS JUNJI ITO LOOKING MOTHERFUCKER? IS IT FROM A MOVIE? TELL ME IT IS. THE FUCKING HELL IS THIS. IS IT A RUNNING NAKED PERSON AND A FUCKED PHOTO, WELL NO WAY OF THAT, BECAUSE EVEN THE PROSPECT OF A PHOTO FUCKING UP THIS MUCH IS TERRIFYING.

I hear this is the Jersey Devil but I’ve SEEN the Jersey Devil and he’s nice! He’s a goat! A flying goat whom you can pet!!

 

Look at this FRIENDLY GOAT, on his way HOME to talk with his LOVELY HUSBAND, and tell me he’s the same as the BODY HORROR above.

THIS is the Jersey Devil. He has ATTITUDE and he fights PUMPKINS and he can’t MOVE PROPERLY IN THREE DIMENSIONS. He doesn’t look like the smoking worm guys from Men in Black on METH!

Look at that SMILING, SMILING FACE. Sure, he’ll make it illegal to pump your own gas, but he won’t MINDFUCK your PERCEPTION OF SPACE.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? IS IT WHAT REMAINS OF CHRIS CHRISTIE’S SOUL? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Cryptozoologists! Please explain!!! What is it, and in this one case I’ll accept “ALIENS” as an answer.

The Jersey Devil, or possibly some kind of goat prop on a string, caught on camera.

Ah, New Jersey. That place next to New York. A state where you can’t pump your own gas, but where you could spend a death-defying day of family fun at Action Park. The great state of New Jersey is very weird. There’s even a magazine about how weird it is. And its most enduring legend is that of the Jersey Devil.

According to one popular origin story, the Jersey Devil was the thirteenth child of Mother Leeds. Leeds declared that her child would be the Devil, for…some reason. The newborn Leeds child grew hooves, bat wings and other devilish accouterments. And, much like a Russian gangster, the now-transformed devil-baby fled into the Pine Barrens, never to be seen again.

Until now.

An anonymous New Jerseyan, hailing from Galloway, claims to have seen the Jersey Devil. And they managed to snap a picture before it disappeared:

jersey-devil

This incontrovertible photographic evidence proves the existence of New Jersey’s most famous flying goat demon monster. And elsewhere we find convincing video evidence.

As anyone with even the slightest knowledge about flying goats can tell you, they keep their bodies absolutely still while they fly. Some say this video looks “obviously fake”, and “cheaper than a Tom Baker-era Doctor Who monster”. These people are ignorant clods who wouldn’t know a Jersey Devil from a Connecticut Goatman. You are all disgraces to the rigorous and not at all credulous-bullshit-filled field of cryptozoology.

Cryptozoology tells us the truth we’ve long suspected, but have always been too afraid to say: Hell is real, and it’s in New Jersey.