Medicine

THIS IS WHAT THESE PEOPLE ACTUALLY BELIEVE

“So, Dr. Smith, what do you have to report about your progress on that new cancer drug?”

“I’m here to tell you that I have developed the cure for cancer. It was easy, really, since cancer is just one disease, after all.”

“Really? That’s incredible.”

“And I think we SHOULDN’T sell the cure.”

“What? WHY?”

“Don’t we make so much money off treating it already?”

“But every company has drugs that treat it. We’re the only ones who have a cure. We’re the only ones that could sell it.”

“But if we sell a cure we can’t treat it anymore. We shouldn’t sell it.”

“Dr. Smith, this suggestion is absurd. Do you know how expensive it is to develop drugs, Doctor? It’s an expensive, long process that mostly ends in failure and rejection. We’ve spent millions developing a cure, we’ve gone through who the hell knows how many failed experiments, and you want us to just…not sell it? We have exclusive rights to the cure, but we should forgo that so we can make money from selling treatments that EVERY company makes?!?!”

“…yes.”

“Sounds good! Someone get Dr. Smith a raise!”

The World’s First Anti-Propaganda Search Engine Places Users in The Biggest Echo Chamber Ever

Mike Adams, the Health Ranger, runs the website Natural News. It’s exactly what it sounds like. When we last saw him, he was calling all non-conspiracy theorists mentally retarded and compared pro-GMO journalists to Nazis and said people had a “moral right” to kill them. Now he’s created a innovative new search engine, a new idea that disrupts a industry by ensuring that you will never again see new ideas.

“For the last six months, I have been working hard on the development of a breakthrough search engine that will finally offer a credible search alternative to the NSA-funded, surveillance-state search engines currently dominating the web.”

This new search engine will keep you from seeing the propaganda that you will see anywhere but my website. You can trust the Health Ranger, because my site isn’t LITERALLY a NSA-funded scheme to spy on you.

“Next week, I’ll be opening the webmaster URL submit page for the world’s first independent, anti-propaganda search engine that filters out corporate propaganda and government disinformation.”

The first search engine that makes sure you don’t have to see any ideas that you don’t agree with. For too long, the denizens of the internet have had to suffer through seeing people who don’t think the same as them. Well, no more! In the past, you might have avoided ever, ever leaving your personal echo chamber by only going to garbage sites like Natural News for your news. This will automate the process. Never be challenged again!

“Uniquely, this independent search engine either bans or flags (with a warning) all corporate propaganda and government disinfo websites. Just as Google flags search result URLs containing malicious code that can infect your computer, we will flag search result URLs containing malicious propaganda that can infect your mind.”

I wonder what propaganda the brave Health Ranger will keep from infecting our mind? It must be pretty awful

“This means you won’t find the CDC’s vaccine propaganda dominating search results, for example.”

It’s the CDC. The CD-fuckin’-C. Their “vaccine propaganda”, otherwise known as “science”, will stop dominating search results. They’re given undue weight, just because they’re “accurate”. This is LITERALLY oppression.

“Instead, you’ll find a universe of independent websites that have been suppressed, censored or outright banned by Google.”

A universe of websites not found easily on Google, just because they might start ranking sites by accuracy and Natural News would be somewhere on page 9,975,256 in any search.

“Google’s search results are now determined by each page’s so-called “factiness” — a new algorithm that punishes all content which disagrees with official sources such as the criminally operated CDC, the pharma-controlled science journals, and biotech-infiltrated universities.”

They rank pages based on “factiness”, a horrible algorithm that punishes content just because it disagrees with sources that “know what they’re talking about”.

“This shift effectively makes Google a real-life Ministry of Truth that censors the truth and promotes corporate propaganda (and government disinfo), all while spying on you to boot.”

In my first post on the Health Ranger, I proposed Space Lizard’s Law: if you live in a country where you can freely compare the government to 1984, then you aren’t living in 1984.

Google is just like the Ministry of Truth. It censors the truth – except it doesn’t do anything to stop competing search engines from existing. It doesn’t torture you if you use Bing, since (insult Bing joke here). Its “propaganda” is judging, objectively, whether facts are true. Google has zero power to force you to use Google, so of course it’s like the propaganda arm of a dystopian dictatorship.

“Think about it: Google heavily promotes Wikipedia, a discredited disinfo and defamation website largely edited by corporate-funded trolls hiding behind anonymity. Even though Wikipedia was co-founded by a “porn king” and carried child porn imagery on its site, Google gives it high rankings while punishing the independent media websites that actually publish the truth.”

One of my favorite things about Wikipedia is Googling (oh no, the Ministry of Truth is going to get me for making their trademark generic!!!) some alternative medicine topic and the first result being a Wikipedia article that outright calls it pseudoscience. I won’t get into the bizarre attack on Jimmy Wales. He’s apparently unreliable because he ran a porn site and covered it up – except it’s mentioned on his Wikipedia page and has its own extensive page. That’s like shredding documents in a copier.

Remember, though: you can’t find the truth out there. You can only find the truth in here. Only I, the Health Ranger, speak the truth. Trust me. TRUST ME AND ME ALONE. I’m sure there were similar speeches given in Jonestown.
“Google also strongly favors mainstream media news sources — precisely the news outlets that spew the most blatant disinformation about everything that matters: Central Banks, government debt, politics, economics, health care, immigration, crime, culture and more.”
Google strongly favors popular, widely read media sources. CONSPIRACY!
“The day is probably not too far off when Google and Facebook ban all independent media websites.”
Strange how your site still pops up when I type in “Natural News”. They’re doing a poor job of suppressing independent websites, then, but I’m sure they’ll just all disappear one day.
“When that day comes, it’s projects like the one I’m launching that will be the last remaining portals to real journalism and independent reporting.”
But everyone will be fine with letting these alternative search engines, run by pseudoscientific health bloggers who constantly tell their followers that they are the only ones telling the truth, proliferate. Just like 1984!


What a magnificent echo chamber this will be! The main problem with social media is, no matter how tightly you construct your personal bubble, dissenting views will occasionally slip through. Now your right to never be disagreed with will be protected. Some people think they have the right to disagree with you just because they’re objectively correct. Well, no longer! Bring on the hive mind!

Water With Nothing In It That Protects Against A Threat That Doesn’t Exist: Only 20 Bucks!

Homeopathy is the idea that medicine without anything in it is the most potent medicine of all. Chemtrails are a conspiracy theory among people really freaked out by contrails. And now, they meet: for just twenty dollars, you can buy some homeopathic chemtrail detox formula off of eBay! Don’t worry; the seller has 99% positive feedback, so they can be trusted!

r/conspiratard user CBLF breaks down the “ingredients” in this formula and they’d be quite worrying, if there was even one particle of them left in this twenty-dollar water that “cures” something that doesn’t exist. Homeopathy, everyone!

The Conspiracy Theorist Ideology in a Nutshell

“Natural News” (“See real-time breaking news on: GMOs, fluoride and heavy metals”) posted an astonishing article entitled, “Refreshing rationality: Why NOT believing in conspiracies is a sure sign of mental retardation“.

With a title like that, how can you go wrong? Well, quite easily.

The phrase “conspiracy theorist” is a derogatory smear phrase thrown at someone in an attempt to paint them as a lunatic. It’s a tactic frequently used by modern-day thought police in a desperate attempt to demand “Don’t go there!”

First paragraph and we have a Thought Police reference already!

We need a term for unwarranted 1984 comparisons. Perhaps a Space Lizard’s Law: If you live in a country where you can freely read and discuss 1984, then making a comparison to 1984 causes you to immediately lose any argument. (more…)