Can Noted Bad Author Dean Koontz See the Future, Like a Modern Cassandra Who Writes One Book Over And Over (Though Odd Thomas Was Alright)?

In 1981 Dean Koontz released a novel called The Eyes of Darkness. It was the prolific horror/thriller author’s thirty-fourth novel in a career that was thirteen years old, and the second of two Koontz novels in 1981 alone; it fit into a late-70s/80s boom period for Koontz after years of forgotten, and now out of print, genre work, and would later be republished after Koontz became a institution, churning out novel after novel about good men and their good dogs fighting bland horror-hriller foes.

(I remember Odd Thomas being okay, though?)

But one man sees through Koontz’ bland writing and formulaic plots to the truth. For you see, Koontz is no mere mid-list horror author whose career somehow survived the demise of the 80s horror boom. He is a PROPHET. A modern Cassandra, whose words were not heeded in 1981, to the doom of us all.

Twitter user Nick Hinton may have been, judging by his Twitter name being ‘nickhintonn‘, the second Nick Hinton to join Twitter, but he’s the first to crack the code about the Koontz code, the hidden prophecies and revelations hidden in middling early 80s horror novels. Wither the Streiber code?

In The Eyes of Darkness, scientists develop a bioweapon called Wuhan-400. The name Li Chen is circled; looking up “Li Chen Wuhan” brings up articles about this supposed “prophecy”, seemingly because there is a whistleblower doctor in Wuhan named Li, a surname shared with a measly 92 million other people in mainland China alone. Truly a prophet at work here.

You’ll note some differences between the real coronavirus and the novel’s bioweapon. For instance, one is a virus and the other is a fictional bioweapon with absolutely no similarities with the real virus beside the name. The South China Morning Post proposed some theories as to why Koontz placed the virus’ creation point in Wuhan; the city’s central position transit-wise, or its status as a center for scientific research, information “smart, savvy authors” and Dean Koontz could use to make a story convincing.

Of course, he didn’t set the story in Wuhan.

According to Snopes, this image of the book describing a Wuhan-created virus isn’t fake per se. But it doesn’t tell the entire story. You see, in 1981, The Eyes of Darkness mirrored the Cold War by calling the virus Gorki-400 and turning it into a plot by the dastardly Ruskies. At some point after December 26th 1991, Koontz rewrote the book to update its xenophobia, which is hilarious to me? And here on February 21st 2020, I wrote this post mainly to make fun of highly successful author Dean Koontz.

On Twitter you can find people citing this as PROOF of predictive programming, or reality being a simulation, like the Matrix in the classic transgender coming out story The Matrix.  As usual the exact mechanism of this prediction goes unexplored. Can Dean Koontz see the future? Did someone leak a rising horror author Chinese government secrets from 40 years in the future in 1981? Did you know 1981 is nearly 40 years ago?

On r/conspiracy the story gained some traction, but not enough as transphobia or a post about how the media is fake because Michelle Obama won a Grammy for an audiobook; dare I look in the comments at r/conspiracy?

No. I’m tired, good night

Old Man Yells At Streetlight

The SJW Illuminati New World Order NPC Soy Boy Triple-Bracket Bugman Antifa Supersoldier Normie Virtue Signaler Soros-funded Cultural Marxist Cuck plot to forever plunge western civilization – that totally unified society that’s always shared values and heritage, even when at war with each other for 90% of human history – into degeneracy and an age of ceaseless hypersensitivity has unveiled its latest plan, and the only person brave enough to speak out against hypersensitivity is some dweebus screaming at a traffic light because it hurt his feelings.

Look at this disgraced ghost hunter. Look at this man fired for a racial slur after a heated minor league darts game. My god, my guy.

Meet Mark Collett. He didn’t make today’s video, but he did share it, and he looks like a failed magician desperately pushing card tricks during his night shift at Kinko’s, so.

Mark Collett starred in the infamous documentary Young, Nazi and Proud; he displayed vile, undisguised racism, which of course had no place in the British National Party. The BNP punished him for his naked bigotry by making him head of publicity, and only sacking him when he threatened the party’s leader, Nick Griffin, who looks like he has a side gig as a mayor in a monster movie trying to keep the beaches open.

Now, Collett is known as a podcast host and author of unreadable books about how people who don’t look like him having children is tantamount to the Holocaust. And now, he’s an ardent supporter of people who scream at street lights for no apparent reason:

 

An anonymous bearded Nazi with the bizarre and existentially frustrating handle “Onlinemagazin” is standing on a street corner, loudly waiting for the “green man”. The little green man in the box who helps him navigate his way home so he can spend another night trying desperately to free the little men from his television. “Who trapped you in this box?” he screams, shaking the TV. “Was it the transes? Who did this to you!?”

But our intrepid protagonist is disappointed: for there is not a green man, but a green gender symbol telling him to walk. “There you fuckin’ go!” He screams, as the light turns red again. Perhaps you should focus less on the symbol and more on the color, Mr. Onlinemagazin.

He conjures a conspiracy from a street light: to the confusion of those around him – Londoners trying to get on with their lives – he screams about how you can have a “red man” because it’s negative, but the walk symbol must be a lesbian/trans/gay/genderfluid arcane rune, designed to brainwash all of the UK into hating all men.

Of course, this is nonsense. These alternate stoplights are an temporary addition for Pride, and Piers Morgan has done more to make Britain hate men than any stop light ever could.

And so Monsieur Onlinemagazin, and his Nazi-documentary-boy supporters, walk off into the night, ranting to the air about street lights, boldly ignoring them in their righteous outrage and wandering straight into an open manhole. Hey – at least the sewers of London are more pleasant than spending time around the alt-right.

Odds and Ends: Authenticated by Verrit Edition!

MEDIA FOR THE UH, WHO, EXACTLY?

Peter Daou, formerly of the Clinton campaign – and currently living through the 2016 election in a strange, ceaseless fugue – has founded a new media site for “the 65.8 million”. Called Verrit, it’s one of the more confounding political sites online, less a fact checking site than a fact site – a never-ending wall of contextless facts and quotes, each slapped with an authentication number.

Verrit’s existence is less interesting than the bizarre assumptions behind its existence. Verrit exists so that those poor souls still living out the 2016 election can win internet debates; because all you need to win a debate is to show someone a quote as succinct as it is utterly meaningless. Need proof? Why, plug in the authentication number to see that it’s right there on Verrit. Verrit comes from a vein of politics that prizes facts above all, that thinks solid facts are all a person needs to be swayed over to your side, just like on The West Wing. You may know this school of politics from it losing horrifically in the face of fact-free, emotional populism last election. Oh well, at least we can always blame the Russians instead of facing our problems.

LOUISE MENSCH NEWS

Louise Mensch, the British politician turned conspiracy monger and failed media mogul, fired her own lawyer via Tweet for having the audacity to suggest the United States may interfere in democracies abroad occasionally, at some point in its history.

IAN MILES CHEONG WATCH

Noted ant enthusiast Ian Miles Cheong, the saddest boy, is angry. Why is he angry? Because a gender non-conforming kid exists and it’s stopping us from going to space, like we promised in 1977. Like all Americans, I’ll always fondly remember Jimmy Carter’s inspiring promise to “one day, perhaps in 2017, send an American to space for the first ever time, just like in the new motion picture Stars War”. That there are people in space right now, as we speak, must elude Ian Miles Cheong, who’s busy fretting about society’s decline whilst yelling incoherently at literal children.

And if you’re a fan of childish screeching, Ian Miles Cheong has also spent the last several days tweeting angrily about how he didn’t like how a gaming journalist played a video game but fuck me if I’m ever gonna dive into Gamergate again.

ENTER THE NOTCH ZONE

Minecraft designer Notch blinks unsteadily as the California sun creeps through his mansion’s shuttered, dusty blinds. Getting to his feet, he stumbles, falling to the floor, the heavy thud echoing through the desolate halls, heard by no one. Taking one step after another, trepedatiously he walks through cavernous halls to his one source of joy: his candy room. Reaching out with his gnarled, dirt-caked hand, he unwraps a moldy Tootsie roll, struggling, tearing the paper and dropping the glorious nugget to the floor. He picks it up and eats it anyway.

Taking his phone out, he types out a few words of wisdom:

And returns to his solitary kingdom, his empire of dust and candy, content in the knowledge that he really triggered the Sajews with that one.

BIZARRE CONSPIRACY IMAGE OF THE DAY