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Distant Encounters: The Garbage Cryptid of About.com

Nessie, Area 51, Roswell: names like this define UFO and paranormal lore. This is not a series about them. In Distant Encounters, we tour the strangest, most isolated tales of encounters with the unknown.

About.com was a sprawling lifestyle site, divided into nearly 1,000 pages for any interest under the sun: whether you were a gardener, knitter, or occultist, it was all there. This year, it shut down, rebranded as a more-modern lifestyle brand called Dotdash. Much of its content was lost, and that’s not terribly sad or remarkable, except for the day its Paranormal site spawned a report of a strange creature living in a dump.

A poll asking if readers had seen a cryptid spawned a unique response:

Paula M. had one such sighting. But it wasn’t of a Bigfoot, a sea serpent, or even a chupacabras. In many ways it was much stranger. And try as she might and after diligent research, she has yet to come up with an explanation for what she saw.

1999, Oregon. Paula M.’s hobby is searching junkyards for vintage bottles and glass which, you do you, Oregon. Heading into a off-the-beaten-path dump she had never visited before, Paula M. noticed something unusual:

“As I was staking out the area,” she said. “I happened across some tunnel-like holes in the ground. The holes were of a peculiar size, which made me wonder what kind of animal possibly could have dug them.”

Paula noticed six or seven of the holes, each about two inches in diameter and partially camouflaged by the sparse growth of the recess.

Finding an inviting spot, Paula M. dug in the dirt for nearly an hour in search of vintage bottles with embossed letters which, okay.

Paula decided to take a break from her excavation and stretch her legs. She stood and walked around a bit. “While I was moving about at the bottom of the recess, I thought I saw, from the corner of my eye, a clump of dirt move. It was about the size of my fist”…about 10 feet away from her, the clump of dirt moved, like it was pushed out of the ground from beneath, and rolled down the hill. Paula began to get a little nervous. Whatever had made those tunnel-like holes was apparently making another one. And she wasn’t particularly keen on watching a rat, a snake, or some other potentially dangerous animal come slithering out.

Then she saw it. Something living began to poke itself out of the ground!

The creature emerges, and it’s like nothing Paula M. has seen before:

She stopped about four to five feet away from the creature. What she could see of it was poking out of the ground about five inches. “At this point, I wasn’t sure what end of the animal I was looking at,” Paula said. “It was about two inches in diameter, and the end of it was perfectly smooth and round – like a cue ball. It was light-brown in color, very much like the surrounding earth. It had a worm-like shape, but didn’t taper down at the end as worms do, and was firmer around looking. It had no distinguishing or familiar features to indicate to me what it was.”

Its size made it obvious that this was not a worm – at least not any kind of worm Paula had ever heard of. And she could not see its entire body, only what was poking out of the ground, so who knows what the rest of this thing really looked like…she could not detect any eyes, mouth, nose or ears. It had no fur, scales or worm-like ripples on its skin. What it did have was patches of peach-like fuzz – very fine and spaced apart like the hair on a young human’s arm – covering what looked like soft, dusty skin about the texture of a person’s. It was not wet, slimy or tough looking.

As she studied at the strange, featureless creature, it gave her a startling surprise:

“All of a sudden,” she said, “while I was examining it, two big beautiful crystal blue eyes popped open! Now I knew what end of the animal I was looking at.”

All thoughts of this being some kind of giant worm were immediately dismissed. Worms don’t have eyes – not like that! More curious than frightened of this remarkable animal, Paula began to wonder how big the body was and what its arms, legs, and tail looked like – or if it even had any such parts. “The white of the eye surrounding its blue iris was the whitest I’d ever seen – a pure virgin white. The size of the eyes were quite big in proportion to its body size. I wondered if it were a juvenile.”

The creature remained gentle, undisturbed by Paula’s presence.

“My presence didn’t seem to bother it because it studied me for only a short period of time. Then it ignored me. It appeared content and relaxed while it exposed itself to the sun…Paula was startled when the creature began to move, and she instinctively stepped back. The animal slowly began to sway the top of its body back and forth as it stretched itself upward toward the sky, all the while slowly blinking.

“I tried to get it to look at me again by clapping my hands and yelling, but it continued to ignore me.” Since it had no discernable ears, Paula wondered if perhaps it couldn’t hear sound. So she tried waving her arms and hands about to draw its attention to her. But all it did was stare at the sky, continuing to sway its head back and forth, stretching upward while blinking slowly. It was as if it were hypnotized by the light of the sun.”

After five minutes, the creature retreated back into the ground, leaving more questions than answers:

Paula isn’t quite sure what to make of this peculiar encounter, but it haunts her. “I haven’t been able to erase it from my mind, and it’s driving me crazy! I’ve asked many people about it and have spent countless hours searching the Internet for answers to any known or unknown animal fitting the description of the animal.”

Paula returned to the dump site the following Spring in hopes of getting another glimpse of the mysterious creature. No such luck. Some of the hole openings were there, however. “I am convinced that this animal still exists and lives there. It’s possible that it hibernates, so I will go back again in early to mid-summer and try and get another glimpse of it – and possibly capture it on film.”

No such evidence ever presented itself, but readers eagerly wrote in with their own theories. Someone suggests a misidentified rubber boa, which Paula M. rejects. “Scott” proposes the legendary tatzelwurm. Another says a friend reports seeing a similar creature:

“I have not seen this creature myself, but I know of someone in California who has. It was about more than 30 years ago and the people who saw it were little children at the time. They said they were playing in the backyard in the dirt when all of a sudden this ‘thing’ came sprouting out the the dirt. The brother and sister just watched in horror, holding their breath. The brother described it as a tall, worm-looking thing about 8 feet tall. Up to this day, if the sister asks the brother, ‘Do you remember…?’ he cuts her off and says he doesn’t want to talk about it. I believe in what they saw.” – Natalie W.

The responses contain their own mystery: a suggestion of the “ingots” of Indochina as a solution is complicated by the fact that every result for “ingots” seems to be discussion of this very comment. This e-mail to a defunct website’s coverage of a obscure cryptid is itself the only account of an obscure cryptid.

“I probably won’t be the first or only to inform you that what Paula saw at the dump may indeed be an unidentified Southeastern Asian creature known as an ingot [possibly lingot]. Check with Agence France-Press for stories about ingots during the final years of French involvement in Indochina. They were seen burrowing everywhere, and the descriptions of the bodies and eyes match those of Paula’s story. Old Indochina veterans in the French army could never explain them or where they came from, and there is no record of American sightings during this country’s involvement later. General Jean de Lattre de Tassigny, supreme commander of French forces in Indochina, was so unnerved by sighting of burrowing ingots and the lack of information about them that he brought in a special team of researchers, who apparently found nothing.

“The ingot is like no other creature reported on earth, and it contributed to the general weirdness of the French experience in Indochina. Ingots were reported in large numbers in 1953 around the North Vietnamese site where an entire French regiment vanished without a trace. This disappearance may have had nothing to do with ingots, but there are still old veterans in the cafes of Paris, Bordeaux and Marseilles who swear there was a connection. Incidentally, the reality of the disappearing regiment is well-documented. For a few years in the 1950s, burrowing ingots made big news in France. But France, like the US later, hid its Indochinese veterans and paid little attention to their stories… about anything. Such is defeat.” – Loic C.

Anton B. suggests that the gentle creature was in fact a vicious predator, sizing up its prey:

“I read the article about that weird creature of the dump that Paula M saw. I just think that she ought to be careful going back to look for the creature. Its behavior seems to me to suggest that it is a predator of some sort…his creature obviously showed no sign of fear from the account that was given. This creature even came out of the ground when it was likely that it would have had some sign that there was a large being somewhere in the vicinity. I assume that it had this knowledge as a creature that lived underground would likely be sensitive to vibrations, and be able to determine that something large was around.

“The next thing that makes this creature seem predatory is how it extended itself and waved in the air in a very obvious manner…Of course, I am not a professional in the field of animal behavior, but…I’d just suggest that she doesn’t approach the creature and that she does not go to look for it alone. Perhaps the reason that the creature is unknown is that no one has ever survived an experience with it before.”

Anton B. isn’t a professional in animal behavior, BUT…Paula M did never report back, as far as I can tell, beyond one interview with Jeff Rense that I can’t find any trace of, so yep she was absolutely eaten by it. That’s just science. And if she did ever report back, I couldn’t find a trace of it either, since all the proof is buried deep in the Wayback Machine. This story about a weird cryptid, who defied categorization and explanation, is itself now a kind of internet cryptid.

The Dump Creature: Part 1, Part 2; Comments: Part 1, Part 2

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The Curious Case of Marilyn Monroe’s Purported Reincarnation

marilyn

Here is a vintage case: the tale of a Canadian singer who believed herself to be Marilyn Monroe reborn, and the doctor who believed her. It hails from ye olde 2005, and has been immortalized in the book Marilyn Monroe Returns: The Healing of a Soul, which has a mighty four stars on Amazon after nineteen reviews. Despite the overall positive rating, the top reviews are all distinctly negative – with even believers in reincarnation calling the book’s case a stretch.

You may regard reincarnation as primarily a spiritual matter: a process where, upon death, a person’s soul moves on to another body – which may be completely different, and may indeed – depending on the belief system – not even be human. But Dr. Adrian Finkelstein believes reincarnation to be an altogether different process. Namely, one can decode a individual’s past lives not via hypnotic regression or memories, but because they look similar to their prior self:

Dr. Finkelstein become convinced that Ms. Laird is indeed the reincarnation of Ms. Monroe, not only due to her memories, but also due to the presence of similarities in facial bone structure, hands, handwriting, voice pattern, linguistics and personality traits that exist between Marilyn Monroe and Sherrie Lea Laird.

I can understand the same soul showing the same personality across lives, but the same bone structure? The same physical appearance? Does a reincarnated soul warp their new form into its favored appearance, or does it specifically seek out fetuses that will grow up to look like their past self?

Ms. Laird, who goes by the stage name, Sherrie Lea, is a singer whose production of No Ordinary Love hit the top of the charts in Canada and Europe. It is interesting to note that in her film Bus Stop, Marilyn’s role was of a singer named Cherie.

So Marilyn Monroe is reborn, and she names herself – not Marilyn, not Norma, but to…a name that’s kind of similar to one of her characters.

Sherrie Lea Laird experienced vivid memories of her life as Marilyn Monroe, but more importantly, she looks just like her:

sherrie

MY GOD, THE RESEMBLANCE IS UNCANNY! (more…)

Oddity of the Day: The Beatles Never Broke Up

BeatlesIn the immortal words of Jerry O’Connell, imagine if you could travel to parallel worlds. The same year, the same Earth, but everything else is different. Imagine a world where the Soviets rule America, or where ketchup is purple and the Beatles still exist.

Such a story was told by a man calling himself James Richards, who launched a website in 2009 detailing his journey into a parallel world – and he brought back evidence of his bizarre trip. (more…)

The Disappointing Truth About John Titor, Internet Time Traveler

"Titor insignia" by Source. Licensed under Fair use via Wikipedia - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Titor_insignia.jpg#/media/File:Titor_insignia.jpg

The logo of Titor’s military unit, according to him.

After many years of hoaxes, it’s finally October 21st, 2015 – the day Marty McFly went to in Back to the Future 2. Alas, Robert Zemeckis’ vision of a world of hoverboards and the Chicago Cubs knowing success was undone by aerodynamics and the New York Mets.

On this occasion, let’s remember another time traveler, who predicted nothing correctly and vanished, as is the norm with time travelers.

Others have done a good job of recounting who John Titor was. From 2000 to 2001, a man calling himself John Titor posted on time travel- and Art Bell-related message boards claiming to be a traveler from the year 2036, a soldier sent back in time to recover a certain computer in 1975. He stopped in 2000 to visit family and retrieve pictures lost in a second American civil war…and answer questions on a message board, apparently.

A photo of John Titor's time machine; if there was a higher-resolution version, it's gone now.

A photo of John Titor’s time machine; if there was a higher-resolution version, it’s gone now.

Though it’d be tempting to write off Titor as a mere hoaxer, he did have some level of technical knowledge. His mission was trying to avert UNIX’s Year 2038 problem, which is a genuine issue in computer science. This may explain why some were willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, though I’ve heard most people were skeptical from the start.

John Titor told us about life in his time and accordingly left many predictions about the future. Let’s take a look at some of them (drawn mainly from http://www.johntitor.com/):

A world war in 2015 killed nearly three billion people.

Hopefully not true, but there are a few more months left for World War III to break out.

No, the ice caps are not melting any faster than they are now.

False. The ice caps are melting faster than ever.

There is a civil war in the United States that starts in 2005. That conflict flares up and down for 10 years. In 2015, Russia launches a nuclear strike against the major cities in the United States (which is the “other side” of the civil war from my perspective), China and Europe. The United States counter attacks. The US cities are destroyed along with the AFE (American Federal Empire)…thus we (in the country) won. The European Union and China were also destroyed. Russia is now our largest trading partner and the Capitol of the US was moved to Omaha Nebraska.

False.

Hats are more common in the future and flashy colors are less common. Dress is much more functional and we “dress up” whenever we get a chance.

Everyone in the future wears hats. Fedoras make a comeback! But I can’t tell you anymore or I’d risk a paradox, m’spacetimecontinuum.

Perhaps I should let you all in on a little secret. No one likes you in the future. This time period is looked at as being full of lazy, self-centered, civically ignorant sheep. Perhaps you should be less concerned about me and more concerned about that.

The future: full of Redditors!

…Entertainment is less centralized. There are “movies” and “TV” but everything is distributed over the net and more people produce their own “shows”.

Not inaccurate, but even in the 90s people could see the internet effecting entertainment in this way.

Wavering western support for Israel is what gives Israel’s neighbors the confidence to attack.

Incorrect! Western support of Israel, or at least American support of Israel, is still high, and it remains undestroyed.

As a result of the many conflicts, no, there were no official Olympics after 2004. However, it appears they may be revived in 2040.

A cutaway of John Titor's supposed time machine.

A cutaway of John Titor’s supposed time machine.

Wrong! Further Olympics have occurred every two years, and hosts are sorted through the next decade. Not even mounting expenses and hosting the Winter Olympics in Beijing can kill it off.

The year 2008 was a general date by which time everyone will realize the world they thought they were living in was over.

Going off their e-mail forwards and Facebook posts, our racist uncles sure thought the world ended in 2008. But this is so vague you can’t possibly judge it false or true.

I would describe it as having a Waco type event every month that steadily gets worse.

I don’t remember a massive siege, or terrorist attack, or weird cult suicide happening every month in 2008. Just your run-of-the-mill mass shootings.

The conflict will consume everyone in the US by 2012 and end in 2015 with a very short WWIII.

Again, no civil war started in 2005, and though WWIII technically could start this year it wouldn’t spring from some divided America’s strife with Russia or China.

John Titor is remembered fondly as one of the web’s strangest mysteries. At least that’s how most people remember him. That’s how I remember him. What I didn’t know until today was that the mystery had been solved long ago – and the truth was disappointing.

Allegedly, a lawyer named Lawrence Haber and his brother were behind the whole thing; that explains Titor’s knowledge of obscure computer problems. As Keith Veronese notes in their io9 article, there’s a chance that someone else was behind the first messages (a series of faxes to Art Bell in 1999). However, much like beloved Russian internet horse horse_ebooks, the basis for John Titor was apparently commercial – in 2003, the John Titor foundation was registered, and they quietly released a book based on the story that year. With the book long-since out-of-print, John Titor has survived as a bizarre internet legend, the tale of a time traveler who stopped by some message boards to do an AMA, one of many strange stories from the wild late-90s/early 00s internet, up there with eBay’s haunted painting and Time Cube.

Other Memetic Time Travelers Who Aren’t Real

Rudolph Fentz, the 19th-century man struck by a car in 1950s New York City, is from a Jack Finney story, which became a real urban legend for some reason; the man from Taured, who vanished from a Tokyo airport, is also from a story, though from a more obscure source than the Fentz tale. That hipster at the bridge opening was wearing an era-appropriate Montreal Maroons sweater, and that woman walking by the premiere of The Circus was just using a hearing aid. And I’m pretty sure the former drummer of Iron Butterfly wasn’t about to crack the code of time travel, either.

Other internet oddities: Weird Wisconsin; “Crowd Demons”, the Lawton Triangle of 2002.

Flashback Friday: Weird Tales, and Images, from Wisconsin

“Wisconsin has the highest proportion of eccentric environments in the USA, more than 10% of the total.” – Jan Friedman

Since the demise of Time Cube, I’ve become nostalgic for the early, more personal days of the internet. Before social media was around, before content was shuffled towards a few overarching services. Things that are now Twitter feeds and Tumblr blogs would once be a gigantic number of individual, single-topic websites and forums, an array of personal homepages and strange blogs stretching off into eternity. You might stumble across a weird Subreddit now, but at least it’s cloaked in the familiarity of a larger site. Finding one of the web’s oddities once meant entering into an alternate world, created to mirror the author’s mind.

I once enjoyed browsing these websites. I heard about them on the old Snopes message boards, or places like Crank.net and the Museum of Hoaxes, or through long lists of links on places such as the Insolitology or even the Sci-Fi Channel.

I don’t know where I found today’s website. It’s one of several sites describing the many oddities of Wisconsin. I’ll detail the others in future Flashback Fridays; bizarrely, while today’s site is defunct, the other sites that are still up look way more outdated.

What do you think of when you think of Wisconsin? Cheese? Beer? Serial killers? The Fonz? How about the Beast of Bray Road, the werewolf that calls Elkhorn home? Or the Hodag, a reptilian beast made up in a failed attempt to make Rhinelander interesting? Those are just the obvious legends about the state. Today’s site looks at the deep cuts.

The now-defunct Weird Wisconsin last updated in 2004; it vanished some time in 2006. Presumably inspired by Weird New Jersey, it’s home to many accounts of Wisconsin’s paranormal phenomenon, and wonderful images like this:

WISCONSIN (more…)

Flashback Friday: RIP Time Cube

Time Cube, one of the great weird websites, one of the great oddities of the early-00s, a beloved icon until it turned randomly racist, is no more. The URL has expired. And I remember it here:

And then I commemorate a early-00’s icon in the only fitting way – with some “My Immortal”:

The World’s First Anti-Propaganda Search Engine Places Users in The Biggest Echo Chamber Ever

Mike Adams, the Health Ranger, runs the website Natural News. It’s exactly what it sounds like. When we last saw him, he was calling all non-conspiracy theorists mentally retarded and compared pro-GMO journalists to Nazis and said people had a “moral right” to kill them. Now he’s created a innovative new search engine, a new idea that disrupts a industry by ensuring that you will never again see new ideas.

“For the last six months, I have been working hard on the development of a breakthrough search engine that will finally offer a credible search alternative to the NSA-funded, surveillance-state search engines currently dominating the web.”

This new search engine will keep you from seeing the propaganda that you will see anywhere but my website. You can trust the Health Ranger, because my site isn’t LITERALLY a NSA-funded scheme to spy on you.

“Next week, I’ll be opening the webmaster URL submit page for the world’s first independent, anti-propaganda search engine that filters out corporate propaganda and government disinformation.”

The first search engine that makes sure you don’t have to see any ideas that you don’t agree with. For too long, the denizens of the internet have had to suffer through seeing people who don’t think the same as them. Well, no more! In the past, you might have avoided ever, ever leaving your personal echo chamber by only going to garbage sites like Natural News for your news. This will automate the process. Never be challenged again!

“Uniquely, this independent search engine either bans or flags (with a warning) all corporate propaganda and government disinfo websites. Just as Google flags search result URLs containing malicious code that can infect your computer, we will flag search result URLs containing malicious propaganda that can infect your mind.”

I wonder what propaganda the brave Health Ranger will keep from infecting our mind? It must be pretty awful

“This means you won’t find the CDC’s vaccine propaganda dominating search results, for example.”

It’s the CDC. The CD-fuckin’-C. Their “vaccine propaganda”, otherwise known as “science”, will stop dominating search results. They’re given undue weight, just because they’re “accurate”. This is LITERALLY oppression.

“Instead, you’ll find a universe of independent websites that have been suppressed, censored or outright banned by Google.”

A universe of websites not found easily on Google, just because they might start ranking sites by accuracy and Natural News would be somewhere on page 9,975,256 in any search.

“Google’s search results are now determined by each page’s so-called “factiness” — a new algorithm that punishes all content which disagrees with official sources such as the criminally operated CDC, the pharma-controlled science journals, and biotech-infiltrated universities.”

They rank pages based on “factiness”, a horrible algorithm that punishes content just because it disagrees with sources that “know what they’re talking about”.

“This shift effectively makes Google a real-life Ministry of Truth that censors the truth and promotes corporate propaganda (and government disinfo), all while spying on you to boot.”

In my first post on the Health Ranger, I proposed Space Lizard’s Law: if you live in a country where you can freely compare the government to 1984, then you aren’t living in 1984.

Google is just like the Ministry of Truth. It censors the truth – except it doesn’t do anything to stop competing search engines from existing. It doesn’t torture you if you use Bing, since (insult Bing joke here). Its “propaganda” is judging, objectively, whether facts are true. Google has zero power to force you to use Google, so of course it’s like the propaganda arm of a dystopian dictatorship.

“Think about it: Google heavily promotes Wikipedia, a discredited disinfo and defamation website largely edited by corporate-funded trolls hiding behind anonymity. Even though Wikipedia was co-founded by a “porn king” and carried child porn imagery on its site, Google gives it high rankings while punishing the independent media websites that actually publish the truth.”

One of my favorite things about Wikipedia is Googling (oh no, the Ministry of Truth is going to get me for making their trademark generic!!!) some alternative medicine topic and the first result being a Wikipedia article that outright calls it pseudoscience. I won’t get into the bizarre attack on Jimmy Wales. He’s apparently unreliable because he ran a porn site and covered it up – except it’s mentioned on his Wikipedia page and has its own extensive page. That’s like shredding documents in a copier.

Remember, though: you can’t find the truth out there. You can only find the truth in here. Only I, the Health Ranger, speak the truth. Trust me. TRUST ME AND ME ALONE. I’m sure there were similar speeches given in Jonestown.
“Google also strongly favors mainstream media news sources — precisely the news outlets that spew the most blatant disinformation about everything that matters: Central Banks, government debt, politics, economics, health care, immigration, crime, culture and more.”
Google strongly favors popular, widely read media sources. CONSPIRACY!
“The day is probably not too far off when Google and Facebook ban all independent media websites.”
Strange how your site still pops up when I type in “Natural News”. They’re doing a poor job of suppressing independent websites, then, but I’m sure they’ll just all disappear one day.
“When that day comes, it’s projects like the one I’m launching that will be the last remaining portals to real journalism and independent reporting.”
But everyone will be fine with letting these alternative search engines, run by pseudoscientific health bloggers who constantly tell their followers that they are the only ones telling the truth, proliferate. Just like 1984!


What a magnificent echo chamber this will be! The main problem with social media is, no matter how tightly you construct your personal bubble, dissenting views will occasionally slip through. Now your right to never be disagreed with will be protected. Some people think they have the right to disagree with you just because they’re objectively correct. Well, no longer! Bring on the hive mind!

The Secret Link Between Netanyahu and Ron Paul, Revealed by a Terribly Written, Outrageously Stupid Crank Site

Before the internet, cranks thrived on the margin of society, in mailing lists and zines, conventions and VHS tapes spread around by cults. Their exposure to the mainstream came largely in the form of green ink: deranged letters to newspapers, named for their tendency to be written in vibrant green ink – the written equivalent of Papyrus font.

The internet didn’t kill green ink. Instead, it turned into a rainbow of bizarre news sites, memes and e-mail forwards. You no longer needed to send that list of President Clinton’s victims to a skeptical editor; now, you could cut out the middleman entirely. The fringe prospered as sites with names like “Libertyblitzkrieg” and “AboveTopSecret” hawked conspiracies right to their believers.

One such site is Whatsupic. Honestly, I first thought it was a satire site, but there’s no disclaimer in sight. It’s a conspiracy site whose main preoccupation is Israel. Israel’s bringing us to the brink of WWIII, Israel did 9/11, Israel rules the US, Israel rigged the last two Presidential elections to ensure that Ron Paul didn’t win. Wait, what? (more…)

Blurry Photo or Evidence of Demons?

Ghost Study, the biggest ghost site on the web since 1999, offers the world two things: dubious ghost photos and advice on how to best misuse tools to make them find “ghosts”. This photograph hails from August 2001 and describes a concept that couldn’t even catch on in the world of ghost hunters.

“Look for the demons. You’ll find several of them in this picture!”

crowdNo, photo, YOU ARE THE DEMONS.

Supposedly this photo includes several DEMONS, including: t-rex eating a dude’s head, a shadow man in the stands, and a giant bird or something they helpfully highlighted.

It’s impossible for these to be a woman’s hair, or a face, or a dude wearing black. It’s impossible that this is a terrible photo. Photos never lie, have errors or just look like shit. No, it’s DEMONS.

“This photo from Jeff gives us greater insight into the phenomena of crowd demons. The term “Crowd Demons” is a term I came up with here at Ghost Master to differentiate them from other demonic beings caught on film. It’s not unusual to catch strange and unidentifiable anomalies on film which I call “Crowd Anomalies”, but this is much different! These are not ghostly anomalies at all, but appear to be actual Demons on film! It is believed that the appearance of these types of demons are a direct result of either the location being haunted or their attractiveness to the photographer or member/s of the audience…….scary thought.”

Scary thought…

If you’re looking for other examples of “crowd demons”…there aren’t any. The few times paranormal sites discuss “crowd demons” it’s…a link to this photo. This terrible, terrible photo.

It’s a terrible, terrible photo that’s lasted until 2013, when it made an appearance on a Listverse listicle about lesser-known kinds of ghost, along with kobolds (!?), doppelgangers of Nic Cage, 100% artificial ghosts and vortexes, strange, camera-strap like spirits that only show up on camera.

So next time you’re talking a low-resolution photo of a crowd with a terrible camera, you can always hope that someone will find ghosts and demons in it and keep spreading it around with some ridiculous backstory about “crowd demons”. Ain’t life grand?

An Update

Previously I’ve mocked a post by a health blogger named Mike Adams. Well, the notorious “health ranger” has now written a post called “Biotech genocide, Monsanto collaborators and the Nazi legacy of ‘science’ as justification for murder” that compares GMOs to the Holocaust and ends by saying “it is the moral right — and even the obligation — of human beings everywhere to actively plan and carry out the killing of those engaged in heinous crimes against humanity.” Uhhhhhh. WOW.

More here.