A Guide to the Naive World of Old Alien Pics

THE DYING ALIEN

Origin: unknown, but probably nefarious; mid-2000s

The best thing about this alien picture is that it shows that somebody somewhere was trying to keep this alien alive. That gives us hope that not everyone that comes in contact with a real alien is looking to exploit them for negative reasons. This picture of a dying alien shows the alien in a seriously frail state but fighting to stay alive. We only wish we knew if the alien in this alien picture won its fight for life.

Naive hopes and musings about how Some People Are Nice To Aliens aside, the truth of this image is simple: it’s a promo picture from The X-Files, specifically “Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man”:

While the coloring is different due to the way it’s shot, the medical equipment and the shape of the alien’s nose and eyes match up perfectly, making it certain this is

The source of the promo picture is unknown, but Kentaro Mori says it came to the internet via a long-gone X-Files fansite.

Really, I posted this for the tone of the site’s prose: the odd, naive, hopeful enthusiasm you find in one strain of Ye Olde UFO Culture. Alien-UFO-Pictures dot com embraces everything with a smiling face and a little hope.

An obvious art piece, created in 1978 before proliferating across UFO books in the 90s and landing on this site long after their creator, Linda Corriveau, stepped forward? Sure. Also, they save it as “Chinese looking alien” which, problematic?

A photo of perfectly normal hieroglyphics with the suggestion ancient Pharaohs wore big hats to cover their big alien heads? Why not!

We are told in schools that the great pyramid of Egypt took 40 years to build and it’s purpose was to bury a pharoah. Come on now, are we that gullible and were the Egyptians that gullible? Of course not, who would spend 40 years of hard labor building a pyramid just to stuff a dead body in it after 40 years of hard work. That hardly sounds logical for such an obviously advanced culture as the Ancient Egyptians. They invented their own language for god sakes, are we to think they were dumb enough to spend 40 years sweating their guts out for only burying 1 body.

Sure, we have many burial sites, engravings, and even books detailing Egyptian death beliefs at length…but isn’t it a bit weird for a society to put so much effort into one person’s grave? Egyptology, debunked (???)

(Side bar: I always love when New Age types talk about how it “can’t be a coincidence” that pyramids exist so many places…even though Mesoamerican pyramids look nothing like Egyptian pyramids, and that they served different functions. Almost like it’s a logical shape for building large structures in bits, or something.)

Like the people from Easter Island who were called the Birdmen Tribe, he too can fly.

Sure! Easter Islanders could fly. Why not!

One image on this site of a “dead alien” is, according to IsaacKoi, a photo of a real dead person, photoshopped to have an alien’s face, since people are awful.

I always love claims of UFOs appearing in paintings because it implies a UFO just flew by while they were painting & they chose to include it, like they just asked the weird pointy alien spaceship to stand still a bit so they could get its lines, since of course it’s impossible for historic artists to be symbolic or use stylization.

Here are 2 pictures of the movie Alien Vs Predator, I found it worthwhile to add them to this alien picture page because so many people search for Alien Vs Predator pictures online.

Serious UFOlogy, everyone!

An alien under arrest, presented without any comment, that originally featured in the sterling pages of the Weekly World News? Why not.


FARM ALIENS

Origin: ???

By comparison to the others, these photos are relatively mysterious. Spreading since at least 2004, these photos are alleged to come from Italy, Mexico, and most commonly England, where one site dates them more specifically to the South of England, November 1999. Further searching reveals a source (thanks to this gloriously Geocities-y webpage), Insidor.com, now long-gone.

Insidor.com claimed the images were from a video, and includes the following story:

Mr XXXX was woken in the night by the sound of a neighbour’s dog whining, and a strange feeling. He ventured outside and saw a strange light in the sky. He describes the light as being in three parts, triangular with the brightest point of light in the front. Mr XXXX went back inside grabbed his video camera, and filmed for 4 minutes. He describes hearing a muffled noise near the end of his garden and approached and filmed what he called ‘strange little ghost’. Mr XXXX claimed to have had strange experience throughout his life and an interest in the Paranormal.

Okay?

The site does have a video section; oddly, it only includes well-known UFO videos like Gulf Breeze, White Sands, and 70s UK TV hoax Alternative 3 and not the video of the literal aliens the site claims they were sent. Strange!

But information isn’t forthcoming, so I’d imagine this was some kind of art project or proto-ARG, given the site’s backstory about “Aquarius”. Still, I love these images because they are all incredibly powerful moods:

Like, same?


CHILEAN PARK ALIEN

Origin: …a Chilean park.

We return to Kentaro Mori for a debunking of this little fella.

I think when I first saw this photo it was identified as being in Moscow; Japanese investigators dubbed it a kappa (…walking over land in Chile?); however, it is definitely from Santiago’s Parque Forestal.

I’ve always loved this one. I love an alien picture that’s just a tiny little guy walking between some horse cops for no reason, and the blurriness of every single thing in frame. Like, genuinely.

But if it isn’t an alien, alternative theories dubbed it possibly: an imp; a ghost; a tree branch; a child or a monkey. Or a hoax.

However, analysis showed it wasn’t a hoax, but mistaken identity: it’s likely a dog, snapped in the middle of an awkward pose, with the “arms” being its hind legs. A weird dog, but a good dog.

Distant Encounters: the Hat-Wearing Little Green Men of Texas

Today’s tale hails from 1913, two miles west of the northeastern Texas burg of Farmersville (population 3,301). But the people involved told no one until 1978 – out of fear? Fear of ridicule over having one of UFOlogy’s few run-ins with literal little green men?

Brothers Clyde, Sid and Silbie Latham chopped cotton on their family’s farm. A mundane scene interrupted by the barking of dogs. The Latham brothers scramble to investigate and find, as Silbie told FATE in 1978:

“a little man only 18 inches tall…He didn’t seem to have on any shoes but I don’t really remember his feet. His arms were hanging down just beside him. He had on a kind of hat that reminded me of a Mexican hat. It was a little round hat that looked like it was built onto him…everything looked like a rubber suit including the hat.”

The 18-inch man’s rubbery skin was smooth, dark green all over (Fate, 1978) – including the strange, hat-like protrusion. The brothers considered the bizarre visitor, the alien before them, and reached out in a spirit of peace. Contact began, and everyone prospere-nope! Their dogs viciously murdered him a second later. According to Silbie Latham:

“Red blood spilled everywhere and the being’s insides, which looked like human organs, fell to the ground.”

Ah yes, at least we discovered the defenseless alien visitor did in fact have human-esque organs, and blood, so very much blood, and so we can know for sure that in those few confused seconds he felt all the pain just as intensely as any human being. A successful first contact!

“Unable to cope with the whole matter, the boys retreated to their work; the dogs stayed near them the rest of the day, as if frightened. “

The dogs were frightened…at discovering what they were capable of, much like in Air Bud: There Ain’t No Rule A Dog Can’t Be a Retired Enforcer, Weighed Down By His Terrible Sins.

The boys told their parents, who disbelieved them. The following day, the little man’s body vanished without a trace. Two years later, they did see “a mysterious object carrying two lights — one in front, the other in back — sail silently by” near Celeste, Texas. Three years later, Silbie witnessed a fireball falling from the sky, leaving only a circle of gray powder. But the Lathams would never again see a little green man.

Silbie Latham’s story went untold for sixty-five years, when his grandson would report it to the Center for UFO Studies. Even Latham’s own grandson heard the story only reluctantly, after much prompting. And while everyone found Silbie believable, researchers tended to discount his story outright, explaining it away as a prank or a frog. Silbie rejected them all.

Admittedly, Silbie Latham’s little green man probably was a frog. It probably was an ordinary creature that ran into the wrong dogs. But we should still be glad he shared his unbelievable story, and that others won’t wait their entire lives to tell theirs…and that when aliens actually meet humanity, they don’t get torn apart by dogs.

An illustration of the Farmersville Green Man by Eric Kowalick, who has delightful illustrations of many obscure alien sightings.

Distant Encounters: Joe Simonton’s Space Pancakes

Nessie, Area 51, Roswell: names like this define UFO and paranormal lore. This is not a series about them. In Distant Encounters, we tour the strangest, most isolated tales of encounters with the unknown.

Joe Simonton wanted nothing more than to eat a late breakfast one day in April 1961. Instead he found himself the focus of one of UFO history’s weirdest footnotes.

Hearing a strange sound at his farmhouse in Eagle River, Wi., the chicken farmer investigated and discovered an alien craft: discovered as “silvery”, with a shape akin to “two washbowls turned face to face”. It made noise like “knobby tires on wet pavement”. And as Simonton approached the craft from another world, a hatch began to open. And out stepped three…Italians.

To be specific, Simonton described them as five foot tall men with dark hair and skin; only a few sources include him summing them up as space Italians, or at least Italian-adjacent aliens, bearing a silver jug with two handles.

The evolution of what people imagine aliens to look like is a study in anthropomorphism. In the 1950s, the traditional depiction of aliens was as “Nordics”: literally, blonde-haired white people from space. The somewhat less human-looking Grey or Zeta Reticulan hails from the Betty and Barney Hill abduction (by way of a half-remembered episode of The Outer Limits) a few months after Simonton’s sighting – they’d become more common as the Hill case became popular in the mid-60s, and essentially codified as what aliens look like by Whitley Strieber’s Communion. In between we find so much that’s compellingly, bizarrely alien and strange. Greys are still incredibly, unbelievably human in shape, but at least they aren’t Italian dwarves bearing jugs.

Joe Simonton with a space pancake.

According to Simonton, the aliens motioned to him that they needed water. After dutifully filling their jug, Simonton returned – and was granted the gift that made his UFO encounter (in)famous.

On a flameless stove, one of the aliens cooked strange, disc-shaped food. A curious Simonton reached out for them, and was given four. He left the ship with this bounty in hand, and watched as the alien craft vanished as mysteriously as it appeared.

Simonton’s story was bizarre, but he had something no other UFO contactee had: physical proof, in the form of four space pancakes. Wait, three: Simonton ate one. It tasted like cardboard. Analysis of the space pancakes proved that they were made from typical Earthly ingredients, bar an unexplained lack of salt. Simonton faded back into obscurity soon after his encounter, saying that if he ever encountered aliens again, he’d keep quiet.

Simonton’s encounter with aliens is remarkable for how casual it seems. People make up stories about alien experiments, or of wise extraterrestrials handing down profound messages of peace, or warnings for the future. Joe Simonton, by contrast, spins a tale of aliens cooking breakfast. They don’t visit him to deliver a message, but to enlist his help refilling a jug, as they didn’t have enough water to flamelessly fry up their space pancakes. This story of Italians coming down from the stars to make pancakes is more strange – more human than almost anything in UFO lore.

Roswell That Ends Well

Last week shocking new Roswell slides were revealed in Mexico. Promised to be the “smoking gun” that would confirm the existence of the alleged 1947 UFO crash, it proved to be…less than convincing.

The placard in the original, suspiciously mummy-like image seemed unreadable. But some researchers have de-blurred it and revealed what it says: “Mummified Body of Two Year-Old Boy“. So that’s that.

New Slides Reveal that Roswell Aliens Looked Suspiciously Like Museum Exhibits

Conspiracy theorists are assholes. They hijack press conferences to scream about false flags. They harass family members of murder victims to make them “admit” that their dead child was a paid actor. At their worst, they engage in right-wing terrorism against the government.

So that’s why my heart holds a soft spot for the quickly vanishing UFO community. They think the government is plotting against the people, yes. But what they imagine is that the government is concealing, not a plot to destroy America and steal everyone’s guns, but secrets from the stars. They imagine life on other planets, aliens that would love to contact us and share their secrets, if only the dastardly government would let them.

Sadly, conspiracy theorists no longer dream of visitors from other worlds. They no longer study blurry photos and videos for a sign, any sign, that humans are not alone. The militia movement of the 90s has taken over their movement and expanded on its worse qualities. And, to be fair, they also no longer commit mass suicide so that they will be taken onboard a comet.

Yesterday, new slides from the 1947 weather balloon crash at Roswell were revealed in Mexico City. They promised to be the “smoking gun” that would prove the existence of aliens.

Here is the image:

Ur3tSrS
Source: Reddit.

That’s…a mummy. In a museum. Even UFO sites realized this, and the reaction to it among UFO die-hards seems to be a resounding “meh”. It’s an obvious hoax.

Still, for some the hunt to find out the “truth” will continue until they find the evidence they dream of.

“The energy bolts give the necessary conditions for these other dimensional civilizations to be able to start experimenting with our universe and/or planet.”

This document is the alleged result of the actions of one or more scientists creating a covert, unauthorized notebook documenting their involvement with an Above Top Secret government program. Government publications and information obtained by the use of public tax monies cannot be subject to copyright. This document is released into the public domain for all citizens of the United States of America.”

“They have started to send probes here, in order to know more about the natural conditions or our universe and planet. The probes are limited to one specific semidome of energy, a circle, in a field where they have scanned the energy bolt…”

Lately, conspiracy theories have been depressing. A lot of bigotry and people eager to write off tragic incidents as “false flags”. What happened to the aliens-and-Area-51 conspiracy theorists of yore?

Well today I bring you all something truly magical: documents about life on other planets, supposedly from an official of some shadowy agency. It’s just one of many documents on a wonderful site I must explore in the future. Continue reading