conspiracy theories

Top Minds: “No Major Sporting Event Has Been Attacked By Terrorists, Except All Those Ones That Were.”

It’s been a long time, friends. I haven’t made a new post on this blog since last Halloween. Truth be told, while I’ve occasionally dipped into the well of inane conspiracy theories, I’ve been too busy. But I know I missed a lot. So here’s a quick summary of my views regarding the events that have gone on in the world since last October:

*SCREAMS FOREVER*

Now that that’s done with, onto a little post I found while browsing r/conspiracy. For those unfamiliar with r/conspiracy, picture a flaming dumpster. Now, throw it into another flaming dumpster. And then throw that dumpster into a larger flaming dumpster covered with antisemitic graffiti. Congrats, you’ve just lived the r/conspiracy experience!

The top post all-time on r/conspiracy is a story about the police shooting a user’s dog by mistake. Tragic to be sure, but a bit hard to mesh with the fact that r/conspiracy does not care one bit about black people shot by police. r/conspiracy has displayed an amazing propensity for looking at major events that fit their world view perfectly and ignoring them completely to rave about false flag nonsense, racism or just plain bullshit.

And today’s bullshit deals with sports. Conspiracy theorists hate sports. Sports are a secular religion, an obsessive distraction that prevents people from noticing anything going in the world, even during the offseason or when they’re not watching their team’s two-to-three hour-long games, apparently. And sports’ utility as a distraction for the Sheeple is why, according to one Redditor, no major sporting event has ever been attacked by terrorists. Ever.

“People are more psycho about their favorite sports teams than even religion imo. And there is no stigma attached to fanatical sports allegiance. It’s totally accepted.”

Except if you like the Raiders.

“The Elite aka Illuminati, etc. don’t target major sporting events for attacks because they don’t want to disrupt this wonderful population control tool.

The world could be going to shit, but if you can still go batshit crazy over your team’s homerun or goal or touchdown, you’ll still be ok with your shitty life and massive injustices worldwide.”

Indeed, when the Packers score a touchdown, my reaction is always “man, good thing Aaron Rodgers scored that touchdown, now I can forget racism exists forever”. People enjoying themselves and celebrating something for a few hours? Clearly the most devious Illuminati plot of them all.

So you might be thinking, wait, attacks have occurred against major sporting events. The attacks at the Munich and Atlanta Olympics, the Boston marathon bombing, the Paris attack that happened just last year. Well, in a backtrack of epic proportions, our intrepid Redditor explains why none of those events count.

Edit: sorry the Boston marathon, centennial olympics aren’t major sporting events. MLB NBA NFL NHL, and i guess rugby, soccer, and cricket are major sports.

The Olympics, a month-long event featuring thousands of athletes from every country in the world competing in nearly thirty sports, is not a major sporting event. The Boston marathon, one of the world’s most prominent marathons, isn’t either. Only team sports count as major sporting events, and he guesses soccer, the most popular sport worldwide, a sport with high-profile leagues in a dozen countries, in addition to champion’s league and national team play, might count as a “major sport”.

Edit2: The bombing outside the soccer game in Paris only killed one person. One. And it was outside. And they finished playing the game. Hardly a major attack. What happened in the rest of Paris combined was obviously a major attack and a tragedy, but no major sports attacks.

…because a security guard stopped them. It only killed one person because a security guard stopped them from entering. They finished playing the game because they didn’t want to let thousands of spectators out into a ongoing terrorist attack.

If there’s a guy outside stabbing everyone who walks out the door, and you tell people to stay inside so they don’t get stabbed, but one guy goes out and gets stabbed, that doesn’t mean you weren’t under attack by a bizarrely single-minded and persistent knife-wielding criminal just because not enough people got stabbed. And why wouldn’t the police stop a guy who was just standing by a door with a knife? I’m SO ANGRY at the plot holes in my own metaphor, grrrr-

But somehow, that wasn’t an attack on a major sporting event. Because it wasn’t an attack, unlike the Olympics bombings, which weren’t at major sporting events.

EDIT 3: Of course all attacks are evil and horrible tragedies. And I am certainly not calling for any future attacks to occur. I would be devasted just as I’m devasted after any attack, Major or Minor.

It could be a Boy Scout Soap Box Derby with one broken bone and I’d still cry.

I was simply sharing my theory about why a major attack (like, over 20 ppl killed) hasnt happened inside a major sport (MLB, Nfl, nhl, nba, rugby soccer cricket).

Because apparently, 20 people killed is a “major attack”. 19 people, that’s nothing. Sad, but not a major attack. A mere bombing doesn’t count, and neither do over 100 people dying adjacent to sports. But one more person dies? That’s the new 9/11 right there. But only if it happens at certain sports, apparently. It’s almost like he’s defining things in such a way that they validate his own terrible theory!

So the Elite, or the Illuminati, keep us safe at MLB, NFL, NHL and NBA games, and even at those weird sports brown people like, because people watching sports for a few hours is somehow the ultimate distraction from the truth. Is entertainment a conspiracy? Is joy itself a tool the Man uses to keep you down? The “truth” may surprise you…with its breathtaking idiocy and incomprehensible, hole-filled nature.

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So this is how liberty dies: In a Wal-Mart in El Paso.

Jade Helm's sinister reach.

Jade Helm’s sinister reach.

Jade Helm begins today. If you don’t remember Jade Helm, here’s a reminder. The government is about to steal Texas’ guns, as they’ve planned to do every year since 1992. They’re going to lock them up in train cars (just like Hitler did in Glacier National Park!), and trap them in Wal-Marts. My God, Texans will rot in a terrifying big box prison, forced to rely on whatever they can find there to survive. Could you handle that? Would you be willing to kill a man over the last can of Minions Spaghetti-O’s? You have kids to feed (damn those cheap Minions condoms!) and THIS IS WHAT IT TAKES TO SURVIVE. COULD YOU HANDLE IT?

Here’s how this is gonna go down, Texas: no one will take your guns. No one will force you into shackles and sentence you to life in the Duck Dynasty aisle. Glenn Beck will write a book about this and you will buy it. You will also buy gold. A month later, when Jade Helm is over and everyone’s guns lie unpryed in their warm, living hands, everyone will forget this ever happened, or pat themselves on the back for defeating the massive government conspiracy by Tweeting about it, and then they will rush on to the next imaginary government plot.

It’s akin to a church that gathers on the top of a mountain to witness the end of days, only to see nothing; “ah”, says the pastor, “I made a mathematical error. The world ends this time next year”. The government’s always going to stamp down our rights come tomorrow, if the sheeple don’t wake up. There will always be a Jade Helm just around the corner.

“Who Makes Steve Guttenberg A Star?” No One, Because Steve Guttenberg Died In 1991.

A gem from 2008, a IMDB user known as diehardjl05 believes that:

Steve Guttenberg died 07/08/91 from complications with a blood clot, I remember back then on ET, for the red carpet premiere for Point Break, Lori Petty talking about how sad this was and she was there with Eric La salle pre ER fame, but then it wasn’t mentioned again.

Rudolph “Rudy” Guttenberg, Steve’s older brother, took over as Steve Guttenberg in late 1992/1993. He just took the name and has been his since then.

Incredibly, another user claims to have also seen this red carpet interview and the original poster states that this fact was previously listed on Guttenberg’s Wikipedia page.

In 1995 I was at the Odium Convention Center in Effinghag Georgia for a Blockbuster sponsored movie convention….Steve Guttenberg was sitting there signing autographs…after he signed I asked for a picture with him and he agreed, after the pic I asked him if Ally Sheedy had become all full of herself when they were doing short circuit since she was still riding the fame of breakfast club which came out the previous year. At first he paused then said “Ally Sheedy? No we Sort Circuit came out before Breakfast Club”. I was stunned and didnt know what to say, how did I know his filmography better than he did, breakfast club came out in 1985 the same year as Cocoon, then in 1986 Short Circuit came out…

The Breakfast Club did indeed come out before Short Circuit. He could have meant that he shot Short Circuit before The Breakfast Club’s release. Considering that The Breakfast Club largely took place in one room, and Short Circuit required extensive special effects, it’s not unbelievable that Short Circuit could have been shot before The Breakfast Club but come out later. I cannot confirm this, however, as I can’t find the filming dates for Short Circuit.

Anyways I thought he just messed up but then I said so what do you think about the ghost in 3 men and a baby, was it real. He then looked at me and said “what ghost” I said “ya know the famous ghost behind the curtains scene” he again said he had no idea what I was talking about

Maybe he was just confused about why you were asking him about a cardboard cutout.

….then I said in a joking manner “hey what have you done with the real Steve Guttenberg”. Immediately after I said this he kind of looked down and walked back towards his people and this woman came out of nowhere and said to stop harassing Mr. Guttenberg or she would have me arrested.

“I asked him several irrelevant questions and asked him a bizarre, hostile one when confused. How dare they say I harassed him!”

I thought it was all weird, ever since then I thought there was a cover up of somehting, not to mention he was wearing a hat and sunglasses inside….trying to cover his face I guess. Anyways, there are bits and pieces of this mystery all over the net…I emplore you all to find out the truth.

I feel like “somehting” is wrong with this post. I “emplore” you to find a dictionary.

The thread later spawns this amazing theory from Ixnatifual:

It’s all true, except that it was not his brother who took over Steve’s identity. A magical simulacrum was created from bags of decomposing Corn Flakes in the likeness of Steve Guttenberg, and it is this creature which now parades around as a mockery of the now dead actor from whom it owes its appearance.

And the equally incredible response from Secondarymodern:

Oh man, if someone throws milk at Guttenberg, he’s so screwed.

About as believable as the serious posts!

Steve Guttenberg, widely tolerated star of the silver screen, died on July 8th, 1991. Alas, the Powers that Be knew that America could not stand to lose a superstar like him during such a trying time. He disappeared for a few years, and when he returned he just wasn’t the same. His identical, less talented brother, who did not make a film until after a conspicuous four-year absence, replaced him. To help America. His heralded return in a movie co-starring Kirstie Alley and the Olson Twins just didn’t catch on, for some strange, presumably twin-brother-posing-as-national-hero-Steve-Guttenberg reasons. How else could such wonderful comeback year projects fail? Look at the other films he made in 1995 – Guttenberg’s first films since 1990:

MY GOD. Look at that first movie, It Takes Two!

Two unrelated young girls who happen to look identical suddenly meet. Amanda Lemmon (Mary-Kate Olsen) is an orphan, and she is about to be adopted by the Butkises, a family whom she doesn’t like. She actually wants her child-loving social worker, Diane Barrows (Kirstie Alley), to adopt her instead. Diane would like to do so, but authorities will not let her because of her low salary. Alyssa Callaway (Ashley Olsen) is coming home from her boarding school’s piano recital competition, only to find that her wealthy father, Roger (Steve Guttenberg), is about to marry Clarice Kensington (Jane Sibbett) a socialite who threatens to send her soon-to-be stepdaughter to boarding school in Tibet.

The girls switch places and find out that Roger and Diane would fit together perfectly.

Much like Stanley Kubrick’s coded moon landing confessions in The Shining, this is a key to the truth. We’re through the looking glass here, people, and it’s time to grab the white rabbit’s ears and fucking ride down the Yellow Brick Road until you all take the red pill.

Identical siblings? Switching places? Who are the loveable parents in this scenario? Could it be a divided America, healed by the return of the late Steve Guttenberg to the cinema? Time for a documentary unraveling all this symbolism! I’ll call it Room 23-MenAndABaby.

Two years later he starred in a direct-to-video sequel to the eminently forgettable live-action Casper movie made in 1996, and a made-for-TV adaption of a Disney World ride. His fame became a joke on The Simpsons. I can’t think why his career never got back on track! Must be his twin brother posing as him after his untimely death, as announced by a E! red carpet reporter covering the premier of Point Break.

Alas, the only witnesses – living witnesses – to this tragedy are a showbiz reporter, ER’s Eriq La Salle and one IMDB poster, for a powerful conspiracy suppressed the news of Guttenberg’s death before it could reach anyone else. Assuredly, any upload of this announcement suffers an immediate takedown at the hands of the powerful Steve Guttenberg conspiracy.

In 1991, a moderately popular comedian died. And the truth has been covered up ever since.

Via Snopes.

The World’s First Anti-Propaganda Search Engine Places Users in The Biggest Echo Chamber Ever

Mike Adams, the Health Ranger, runs the website Natural News. It’s exactly what it sounds like. When we last saw him, he was calling all non-conspiracy theorists mentally retarded and compared pro-GMO journalists to Nazis and said people had a “moral right” to kill them. Now he’s created a innovative new search engine, a new idea that disrupts a industry by ensuring that you will never again see new ideas.

“For the last six months, I have been working hard on the development of a breakthrough search engine that will finally offer a credible search alternative to the NSA-funded, surveillance-state search engines currently dominating the web.”

This new search engine will keep you from seeing the propaganda that you will see anywhere but my website. You can trust the Health Ranger, because my site isn’t LITERALLY a NSA-funded scheme to spy on you.

“Next week, I’ll be opening the webmaster URL submit page for the world’s first independent, anti-propaganda search engine that filters out corporate propaganda and government disinformation.”

The first search engine that makes sure you don’t have to see any ideas that you don’t agree with. For too long, the denizens of the internet have had to suffer through seeing people who don’t think the same as them. Well, no more! In the past, you might have avoided ever, ever leaving your personal echo chamber by only going to garbage sites like Natural News for your news. This will automate the process. Never be challenged again!

“Uniquely, this independent search engine either bans or flags (with a warning) all corporate propaganda and government disinfo websites. Just as Google flags search result URLs containing malicious code that can infect your computer, we will flag search result URLs containing malicious propaganda that can infect your mind.”

I wonder what propaganda the brave Health Ranger will keep from infecting our mind? It must be pretty awful

“This means you won’t find the CDC’s vaccine propaganda dominating search results, for example.”

It’s the CDC. The CD-fuckin’-C. Their “vaccine propaganda”, otherwise known as “science”, will stop dominating search results. They’re given undue weight, just because they’re “accurate”. This is LITERALLY oppression.

“Instead, you’ll find a universe of independent websites that have been suppressed, censored or outright banned by Google.”

A universe of websites not found easily on Google, just because they might start ranking sites by accuracy and Natural News would be somewhere on page 9,975,256 in any search.

“Google’s search results are now determined by each page’s so-called “factiness” — a new algorithm that punishes all content which disagrees with official sources such as the criminally operated CDC, the pharma-controlled science journals, and biotech-infiltrated universities.”

They rank pages based on “factiness”, a horrible algorithm that punishes content just because it disagrees with sources that “know what they’re talking about”.

“This shift effectively makes Google a real-life Ministry of Truth that censors the truth and promotes corporate propaganda (and government disinfo), all while spying on you to boot.”

In my first post on the Health Ranger, I proposed Space Lizard’s Law: if you live in a country where you can freely compare the government to 1984, then you aren’t living in 1984.

Google is just like the Ministry of Truth. It censors the truth – except it doesn’t do anything to stop competing search engines from existing. It doesn’t torture you if you use Bing, since (insult Bing joke here). Its “propaganda” is judging, objectively, whether facts are true. Google has zero power to force you to use Google, so of course it’s like the propaganda arm of a dystopian dictatorship.

“Think about it: Google heavily promotes Wikipedia, a discredited disinfo and defamation website largely edited by corporate-funded trolls hiding behind anonymity. Even though Wikipedia was co-founded by a “porn king” and carried child porn imagery on its site, Google gives it high rankings while punishing the independent media websites that actually publish the truth.”

One of my favorite things about Wikipedia is Googling (oh no, the Ministry of Truth is going to get me for making their trademark generic!!!) some alternative medicine topic and the first result being a Wikipedia article that outright calls it pseudoscience. I won’t get into the bizarre attack on Jimmy Wales. He’s apparently unreliable because he ran a porn site and covered it up – except it’s mentioned on his Wikipedia page and has its own extensive page. That’s like shredding documents in a copier.

Remember, though: you can’t find the truth out there. You can only find the truth in here. Only I, the Health Ranger, speak the truth. Trust me. TRUST ME AND ME ALONE. I’m sure there were similar speeches given in Jonestown.
“Google also strongly favors mainstream media news sources — precisely the news outlets that spew the most blatant disinformation about everything that matters: Central Banks, government debt, politics, economics, health care, immigration, crime, culture and more.”
Google strongly favors popular, widely read media sources. CONSPIRACY!
“The day is probably not too far off when Google and Facebook ban all independent media websites.”
Strange how your site still pops up when I type in “Natural News”. They’re doing a poor job of suppressing independent websites, then, but I’m sure they’ll just all disappear one day.
“When that day comes, it’s projects like the one I’m launching that will be the last remaining portals to real journalism and independent reporting.”
But everyone will be fine with letting these alternative search engines, run by pseudoscientific health bloggers who constantly tell their followers that they are the only ones telling the truth, proliferate. Just like 1984!


What a magnificent echo chamber this will be! The main problem with social media is, no matter how tightly you construct your personal bubble, dissenting views will occasionally slip through. Now your right to never be disagreed with will be protected. Some people think they have the right to disagree with you just because they’re objectively correct. Well, no longer! Bring on the hive mind!

The Governor-validated paranoia of Jade Helm

It’s been about a week since the world failed to end. And, as you can probably guess, that failed prophet of doom promptly vanished from the Earth come May 1st. He should’ve revealed his prophecy a couple of years before 2015! That’s how you make the kind of serious bank that the 2012 doomsayers hauled in. Richard Noone’s 5/5/2000: Ice – The Ultimate Disaster entered bookstores a good three years before the predicted planetary alignment that would plunge the Earth’s cities under the ocean. Three years in advance is a good time to announce the date of the future apocalypse: enough time for some paperback printings, maybe a TV movie deal…Don’t bother with this “random Reddit hoax” business. Not if you want to become an entrepreneur in the lucrative doomsday industry.

jh-15-map-2

A map of Jade Helm’s sinister plans.

And now, a small-scaler doomsday. I’ve been tracking Jade Helm for a while. It’s the conspiracy theory of the moment, and it’s been validated by some unlikely figures.

Jade Helm is a planned military operation in Texas and other southwestern states. It is nothing more than a large-scale training mission. Or IS IT? …yes, yes it is.

Or perhaps it’s a sinister conspiracy involving…Wal-Mart?

“There can be no doubt that the internal events at Walmart holds the key to the end game of Jade Helm operations. Jade Helm and Walmart are inextricably linked and the existing evidence suggests one of two possible end game probabilities for Jade Helm.

1. Converted Walmart stores will be processing centers for FEMA camp political prisoners.

2. Some Walmarts will be used as supply and staging centers for an internal conflict within the United States.”

Yes. Jade Helm conspiracy theorists believe that Wal-Marts, closed for “renovations”, will actually be used as concentration camps for political prisoners. Our Kenyan Muslim dictator-in-chief will declare martial law and take our guns, and maybe ISIS will come over the border and strike America.

The story about Wal-Marts closing due to “plumbing” failures have swirled around for a while now. And according to some, they’re renovating them into sinister prisons.

Worse, a Texas Ranger claims that there are train cars equipped with shackles:

“Let me drop a bombshell that I have not seen you address. There are trains moving throughout Texas that have shackles inside some of the cars. I have not personally seen them, but I know personnel that have seen this. This indicates that these trains will be used to transport prisoners of some sort. I know from reading your articles that your default belief will be that these are for American political prisoners and will be transported to FEMA detention camps of some sort. We have been told by Homeland that these trains are slated for transporting captured terrorists, non-domestic. We are not sure we can trust this explanation because Homeland is keeping a lot from us and we are growing increasingly uncomfortable with their presence in Texas.”

And somehow this ties back to ISIS.

All this would be typical black helicopter nonsense. These theorists are always panicking over some vaguely defined threat. Political enemies will languish in Wal-Mart jails, the Government will grab the defenseless people’s guns, and terrorists will take over Texas, while a group of delusional Unabomber types will live out a power fantasy where they can somehow repel the military single-handedly.

What makes this different is how these paranoid fears have been validated by Texas’ governor.

First came a simple briefing by the military. Anti-Jade Helm Activists overwhelmed an ordinary press conference. We saw this with Agenda 21, a non-binding sustainable development plan from the early 90s that Glenn Beck blew up into a scheme to destroy American sovereignty. Legions of protestors descended on woefully unprepared zoning board members. And we can only assume that at least one of these assholes was wearing a tricorne hat and introduced himself as a “taxpayer”. These loons ensured the death of an award-winning development plan they regarded as the new Holocaust. Here, 200 people stormed in and relentlessly insulted some poor Colonel.

Said Bob Wells, a resident of Bastrop, where the briefing was held:

“It’s the same thing that happened in Nazi Germany. You get the people used to the troops on the street, the appearance of uniformed troops and the militarization of the police. They’re gathering intelligence. That’s what they’re doing. And they’re moving logistics in place for martial law. That’s my feeling. Now I could be wrong. I hope I am wrong. I hope I’m a ‘conspiracy theorist.’”

The Governor of Texas then pledged that the Texas State Guard would monitor Jade Helm. The Governor of Texas decided to validate the people haranguing the military about how a routine training operation is somehow the second coming of Nazi Germany. THE GOVERNOR OF TEXAS THINKS PEOPLE LIKE THIS ARE WORTH PANDERING TO.

And they probably are. The “paranoid, anti-government” demographic is a key one in deep red Texas. The government is going to imprison you in Wal-Mart, and Obama’s scheme to declare martial law and take our guns is imminent, as it has been for the last seven years. They fight an all-powerful conspiracy that’s, curiously, fine with random nobodies on the internet exposing their evil plans that would imprison or kill thousands. They’ll imprison political prisoners on a massive scale once the conspiracy kicks in, but won’t stop protestors from harassing the military now.

It’s a curious little fantasy that’s at the core of the conspiratorial ideology. Here, look at this Facebook post revealing Obama’s plans – it’s wedged between your grandmother’s Minion meme and your uncle’s terrible thoughts on Baltimore! In the past, they’d be ranting about black helicopters on Usenet. Now, their words – and their votes – are given inexplicable weight.

Luckily, not all in Texas agree with the Governor. Former State Representative Todd Smith said:

“Your letter pandering to idiots… has left me livid. I am horrified that I have to choose between the possibility that my Governor actually believes this stuff and the possibility that my Governor doesn’t have the backbone to stand up to those who do.”

And that is the real question here. Does the Governor of Texas believe in Jade Helm, or is he just abetting the spread of these conspiracies because he needs to pander to their beievers? Honestly, I can’t decide which reality is worse.

The Secret Link Between Netanyahu and Ron Paul, Revealed by a Terribly Written, Outrageously Stupid Crank Site

Before the internet, cranks thrived on the margin of society, in mailing lists and zines, conventions and VHS tapes spread around by cults. Their exposure to the mainstream came largely in the form of green ink: deranged letters to newspapers, named for their tendency to be written in vibrant green ink – the written equivalent of Papyrus font.

The internet didn’t kill green ink. Instead, it turned into a rainbow of bizarre news sites, memes and e-mail forwards. You no longer needed to send that list of President Clinton’s victims to a skeptical editor; now, you could cut out the middleman entirely. The fringe prospered as sites with names like “Libertyblitzkrieg” and “AboveTopSecret” hawked conspiracies right to their believers.

One such site is Whatsupic. Honestly, I first thought it was a satire site, but there’s no disclaimer in sight. It’s a conspiracy site whose main preoccupation is Israel. Israel’s bringing us to the brink of WWIII, Israel did 9/11, Israel rules the US, Israel rigged the last two Presidential elections to ensure that Ron Paul didn’t win. Wait, what? (more…)

Terrible People Recruit on Terrible Website

The Daily Stormer is a white supremacist news site. Recruiting new white supremacists in 2015 is thankfully difficult, so they have to look for new veins to tap.

“Although Reddit has a reputation for being a far-left SJW hugbox,”

[CITATION NEEDED]

“…certain areas of Reddit are much more open to our ideas than you might think.”

While the Stormfront crowd know about the traditional hatred subreddits, where people bond over “white rights” and literal Naziism, they’ve found some new, fertile grounds for spreading white supremacy. This new demographic they’re pursuing might surprise you, unless you’ve ever read this blog.

“First and foremost, the #1 place on Reddit to recruit people to our side is /r/conspiracy. Yes, I know what you’re thinking. Why bother trying to enlighten a bunch of Alex Jones-reading kosher retards who think that the “Illuminati lizard people” run the world?”

No one in r/conspiracy thinks the Illuminati lizard people run the world! I wish they talked about reptilians. That’d be easier to mock, and not so INCREDIBLY DEPRESSING as their actual content. The top 100 posts all-time on r/conspiracy contain no references to reptilians, and one mocking reference to the Illuminati. What it does have is a lot of shit about false flags, allusions to 1984 by people who’ve never read it, quotes by noted political thinkers Banksy and Russell Brand, and antisemitism.

“Well, I’ll tell you why: conspiracy-minded people are the most open to considering the reality, which is that international Jewry, in fact, runs our societies. /r/conspiracy frequently hosts Jew-wise material and, at one point, they even held a Q&A session with Dennis Wise, the director of the excellent Jew-wise documentary Adolf Hitler: The Greatest Story Never Told.”

They featured that documentary. And a giant image of Hitler in the sidebar. During Rosh Hashana. Seriously.

“On any given day, you’ll find /r/conspiracy users posting about Jews, the Holohoax, Zionist control of the West, and more.”

Right now the front page of r/conspiracy contains a post about how the mods are ignoring a “massive Jew shill campaign” in r/worldnews, even. There’s a whole subreddit documenting r/conspiracy’s racism. This isn’t a shocking secret.

” /r/conspiracy is an excellent place to bring mainstream conspiracy-minded, Alex Jones-type people over to our side. All you have to do is post content exposing Jewry for exactly what it is. When you see articles about Jewish conspiracies – we post them here on the Daily Stormer quite frequently – just go on over to /r/conspiracy and post the articles there. “

I’m sure r/conspiracy will freak out over this outside party admitting to brigading r/conspiracy. It’s a literal conspiracy to infiltrate r/conspiracy to advance an agenda and…it sits right now at +36. Meanwhile, a post decrying a “massive Jew shill campaign in r/worldnews” is at +193.

“Other fertile grounds for recruitment on Reddit are the European-dominated subreddits – in particular, /r/worldnews, /r/worldpolitics, and /r/europe. Continental Europeans tend to be much more racist and anti-Jew than Americans are. There’s a reason why Jews are constantly complaining about “anti-Semitism in Europe,” but rarely about “anti-Semitism in America.”
Nationalism is currently surging all over Europe, with parties like Front National, Jobbik, and Golden Dawn leading the polls.”
The Greek elections were won by a leftist party, and Golden Dawn only holds 17 seats in Parliament out of 300, but never mind the facts!
“All Europeans hate gypsies, and most of them hate Moslems too.”

Twelve EU countries with significant Roma population have joined together to enhance the lives of Roma, a group of people they universally hate, obviously. Racism against Roma is certainly widespread and even a majority opinion in some countries, but “all Europeans”? No way.

“Go on European-dominated subreddits and drop subtle redpills.”

…are they trying to neg Europe into fucking them?

“Don’t use “gas the kikes, race war now”-type rhetoric, obviously. If you must, say “Zionists” rather than “Jews.””

As I’ve shown previously, TOP MINDS often swap out “Jew” for “Zionist” in titles when posting on r/conspiracy in order to disguise their Antisemitism (gee, I wonder if Antiochus88 – whose name might as well be “AntisemiteNaziHitler” – is a Stormfront user!). Glad to find out where it came from.

“Use their hatred of Israel and turn it into hatred of Jewry. Be subtle, be smart, and be persuasive.”

“Be smart”, says the white supremacist.

“We brought 4chan over to our side long ago.”

All legitimate social movements proudly trumpet their wide support on 4Chan.

“Now, we need to focus on redpilling Reddit – then, soon enough, every other major website.”

Yeah, about your grand scheme to introduce racism to the unspoiled liberal paradise of Reddit…

“Once we succeed at making our ideas mainstream on the Internet – thus winning over the hearts and minds of the youth – it’s game over for international Jewry.  In the future – when you are living in a Judenfrei world – you can tell your grandchildren how you fought the battle against Jewry on the Internet, waking people up to the Jewish parasite using only your fingertips and your endless amount of information.”

“Yes, children. I was there on that horrible battlefield, typing words. Oh, I received many downvotes that day, but I kept fighting. I kept fighting, kids, and when I looked back at all the racial slurs I threw at people who disagreed with me, I knew…I knew our sacrifices were worth the cost…”

Stormfront is invading Reddit, and…it’s really not going to make it any different at all.

r/Conspiracy Tries to Figure Out What Color That Blue and Gold Dress Is

Wait, no, they just think it’s a DISTRACTION. From…net neutrality?

Yes, r/conspiracy now thinks there’s a sinister secret buried in the 300 page documents on net neutrality. Because if only they were public, they’d totally read a 300 page long bill by a regulatory agency!

Bob. Bob. Relax a little, Bob. Enjoy life. Go to see a movie sometime, without debating if MK Ultra brainwashed the stars. Bob, ya gotta take it easy sometime and stop seeing sinister plots in everything. Go to the beach, Bob.  Go on a nice vacation. Have some fun with an internet joke and let the paranoia slide for a night. Listen to the new Taylor Swift – yeah, I know, Bob, but she’s reinvented herself, she’s – no, Bob, it wasn’t a government plot to – Bob!

 

SCI-FI HAPPENS: How a viral ad from the year 2000 continues to confound truthers

SCIFIIn 1992, the Sci-Fi Channel launched, giving the world Farscape, the good Battlestar Galactica and an unhealthy amount of Stargate. A fallow period for TV science fiction caused them to rebrand themselves as the SyFy Network, home of wrestling and light fantasy shows about small towns with secrets. A boom in science fiction and fantasy brought on by the likes of Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead passed them by, and the network is just now starting to re-enter the genre arena.

But during the dotcom days of 1999-2000, the Sci-Fi Network embarked on a kind of viral advertising campaign. While social media did not exist, they aired a series of mysterious, paranormal ads to get people talking about their network – and drive them to their website, tapping into the UFO craze of the 90’s to get clicks.

Most of the campaign has vanished down the memory hole, but this ad from the campaign implores you to send them any unexplainable footage:

Other ads in the campaign showed people with strange magnetic powers, and oddly behaving bugs. These are sadly lost, or at least they haven’t been uploaded to Youtube. The gist of the campaign was that normal footage would be altered with some plausible-looking supernatural element; Sci-Fi happens.

But one ad from the Sci-Fi Happens campaign became famous. One ad from this cable network’s primitive viral campaign is still hotly debated to this day. And once you see it, you’ll know why: (more…)

RAINBOWS? IN OUR SPRINKLERS!?

July 6th, 2007. 4:30 PM. Northern California. A woman uncovers HAARP’s “rainbow aerosols” that create rainbows…near the ground! You didn’t see that sort of thing 20 years ago, she declares in vibrant and readable muddy yellow on muddy red.

“What the heck is in our water supply?” this warrior for truth asks, “What the heck is in our oxygen supply? …What is oozing out of our ground?”” What dastardly scheme is Roy G. Biv up to now!?

“Well all know this didn’t happen 20 years ago,” apparently, “But now it’s happening now.”

“We need to raise our voices, before they take away our rights…in their never-ending thirst for energy sources!”

Huh? What does this have to do with rainbows? In our sprinklers? If you’re hoping for an explanation, there is none: after 2 minutes, the bizarre odyssey of a woman who really, really hates rainbows ends as mysteriously as it began. That mystifying lack of context, awful video quality and inane source of panic mark this as one of the greatest conspiracy theory videos of all time, a true work of art.

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The Space Lizard Report is being retooled. There shall be a cool new friend (whom everyone will talk about when he isn’t on-screen) and babies for everyone, and it will soon be multi-camera. LAUGH TRACK

Browsing r/conspiracy is depressing. And you can only call out violent paranoia and bigotry so many times. So while I’ll still mock conspiracy theories, I’ll also make fun of all kinds of weird, paranormal sub-cultures. UFOlogists! Ghost hunters! Crytozoologists! Forteana believers of all kinds! There’s a smorgasbord of oddities out there beyond loathsome Redditors, and it’s time to explore it.