feminism

Angry Internet Man Has Glasses-Fueled Breakdown

[cw sexual assault, discussion of pedophilia]

Today’s post takes us to the world of anti-SJ blogs, which are an endless circlejerk, a never-ending procession of screams and tired Otherkin jokes issued from a chorus of boring edgelords.

I don’t even really have to introduce this person, as you know their type if you’ve ever navigated the less employable segments of internet discourse. Their Twitter profile, of course, opens up by identifying as some kind of absurd Otherkin type, before segueing into a “if you disagree with me, you’re a bigot” message, because as we know, modern feminism is known for its pro-Otherkin agenda.

patriHave you ever seen a comedian absolutely bomb? Have you ever watched, cringing, as they tried to salvage a terrible act before a hostile crowd? Well, the only thing sadder than a failed comic is a failed troll. Our protagonist today made a post where he made all the Disney Princesses Caucasian and threw them in front of an American flag, and received a grand 21 notes, none of them even angry. His Patreon has raised $10 thanks to the efforts of eight people.

Of course, it’s not hard to see why. Edgelord trolls, by and large, are aiming their work at an audience of fellow edgelord trolls, with the big names regurgitating the same tired memes like a pelican feeding her chicks, but somehow less dignified. The audience of easily outraged feminists reading their every posts simply does not exist. These circles do not intersect, but they’re so eager to believe that they offended someone that they’ll leap on anything as evidence. Anti-SJ blogs fall for parodies more readily than any group this side of Facebook grandmas reading The Onion, but at least that looks like news, and isn’t some outrageously shitty, unsubtle “I’m a black trans disabled agender asexual dildokin xD uWu” Tumblr parody. Anything to escape the fact that they’re sharing their offensive jokes within an echo chamber of people who aren’t going to be offended.

The one exception to their target’s lack of interest is when a blog introduces us to a concept so breathtakingly, bafflingly inane that the broader internet takes notice. And today I want to introduce you to a phrase that’s simple, but endlessly hilarious: “Problem glasses”.

I considered, at first, that this was a parody. But the line between genuine and satirical in the anti-SJ world blew up thanks to four little words: “little white cuck ball”, and GamerGate’s inexplicable war on oddly colored hair showed us that the anti-SJ world does ascribe political significance to the most random shit. So on we go! Patri-Archie-Comic’s stern warning about problem glasses, in its full glory:

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I’m not sure what I can even add to this. “Problem glasses” is an inherently hilarious phrase. “Problem glasses” was not created, it just is. “Problem glasses”, apparently also known as “grandma glasses” or “pedo glasses” (more on that in a bit!), appear to just be…glasses, since the examples offered don’t even look the same.

Words used by “problem glasses” wearers include basic feminist terminology, because there’s nothing anti-SJ types dislike more than incredibly basic terms they don’t understand, as well as concepts like “trans-ethnic” that only exist as anti-SJ fever dreams, and even New Age-y things like headmates and Otherkin. I don’t seem to remember when Anita Sarkeesian declared herself a dragonkin plural with a radical pro-headmate agenda, but I might’ve just missed that video.

Mocking them as “pedo glasses” is interesting, because elsewhere, they’re pretty much fine with pedophiles:

patrip

“As fun as it was to rip into this person and call her a pedo, I actually agree with her opinions, which I tore apart, because…LOGIC AND REASON?”

Let us now just dwell in the magnificence of “problem glasses”, and rue the fact that we can never create something as hilarious, even though we’re trying to be funny.

Found via 9Volt.

The Feminist Plot to Destroy Ghostbusters, The Biggest Film Trilogy of All Time

The most fascinating aspect of the hostile reaction to the idea of an all-female Ghostbusters remake is how it revealed what was, apparently, a gigantic Ghostbusters fandom. People crawled out of the darkest depths of Reddit to claim that Ghostbusters was their childhood, and that they remained devoted fans to a pair of comedy-horror movies from the 80s, one of which was great and one of which was a lesser retread with some good moments. When you look at major fandoms, you picture Star Trek conventions full of people in homemade Starfleet uniforms, and comic book fans clad as their favorite superheroes, and Tumblr discourse about Steven Universe and The 100. But until the Ghostbusters remake, you saw little evidence of the large, slumbering fandom that surely exists and didn’t just spring up when MRAs and alt-righters needed an excuse to attack the movie that sounded slightly less awful than “BUT IT HAS WOMEN IN IT”.

The TOP MINDS of r/conspiracy have figured out the truth – that no one saw the Ghostbusters remake. The number of Kate McKinnon avatars I’ve seen on Twitter imply some audience for the film, but no – some of the over 3,000 theaters it opened in were empty, so no one saw it at all.

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And yet Sony claimed a gross of 45 million dollars on opening day! How could that be, when two dozen people on Twitter paid to see it in empty theaters? You’ve lost Malaysia AND Middletown, Delaware! Twitter said so, so it must have made ZERO DOLLARS.

GhostPost2They ignored the huge, totally-real Ghostbusters fandom, and attacked men by casting women in a film. It’s detrimental to men. I’m not sure which men, given that the original Ghostbusters cameo in the new film and so aren’t exactly losing any work here. But women already have equality, except when it comes to pay, rights or representation in media and politics and also every other aspect of society, so what do they want? Superiority. First they’ll steal our 80s comedy remakes. Then they’ll take over stand-up comedy. And then…THE WORLD!

ghostpost3Women are crassening up stand-up comedy by talking about – *whispers*- s-e-x! Oh my!

ghostpost4A movie that treats men stereotypically and pushes all male characters to the side? GOSH, THAT MUST BE SO HARD TO DEAL WITH. Men now will have to settle for “most of the movies” this year, instead of “all of the movies”. So hard.

The refrain about how male characters are made to look like idiots on TV is a common one. Indeed, many shows feature dumb husbands and smart wives. Except…these shows are all written by men. Often the men playing the dumb husbands, if it’s based on their stand-up comedy. And in every one of these shows, we’re supposed to like the antics of the husband and look upon the wife as, at best, an unfunny moral center and at worst a controlling shrew. They’re a peculiar example of misandry in the media – though all of them are, because misandry don’t real.

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This incomprehensible rant, which conflates Pokémon Go with the Turkish coup, and that inexplicably calls the Nice attack the “twisted metal 3 murders”, leads to the best part of the entire thread – when people tear this guy fucking apart for saying Ghostbusters, “Jedis” and “Vulcans” are the top three franchises in entertainment history:

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It’s truly inspiring to see people united by someone being wrong on the internet. If only they could all become pedantic nerds!

And for one beautiful moment, they stop being awful people and just start being awful people with very strong opinions on Ghostbusters 2:

ghostPost6Awful people who aren’t sure if Pokémon Go is a hit because it’s a plot by Them, or if it’s escapism from Them:

ghostpost7Elsewhere, they blame its high Rotten Tomatoes scores on the site being owned by NBCUniversal, a company that, notably, did not make the new Ghostbusters. Here we see a touch of self-awareness:

 

And, of course, they blame it all on aliens:

alienSo what did we learn today, children?

  1. Aliens made the new Ghostbusters so that they could take away Ghostbusting jobs from hardworking men and feed on our fear.

Glad we could clear that up!

Sexism: A Feminist Conspiracy?

The anti-social justice crowd is quite odd. Once they argued against ridiculous or misguided activism. Now, any moderately liberal belief gets one labeled a “social justice warrior”. A cultural critic who says video games might be sexist turns into a Solanasesque radical out to destroy an entire industry when see through these eyes.

Women concerned about sexism often discuss “the patriarchy”. Now, if you’re the sort of person who understands concepts you may think you know what the patriarchy is: a term for how society privileges men. When people blame “the patriarchy” for sexism, they do not believe a literal group called the patriarchy exists.

One Tumblr user thinks differently. Or, to be more accurate, several Tumblr users: their staff page lists off seven mods, including the moderator of r/TumblrInAction and I Don’t Need Feminism. Permutation of Ninjas, described as a blog that’s “dedicated to debunking SJ myths and encouraging open and honest discussion”, was asked a question:

Would you class patriarchy as conspiracy theory?

Not if you understand what words mean, no.

Feminist male-perpetration patriarchy theory shares many characteristics with what most people would describe as “conspiracy theories.”  It would not, in our eyes, be terribly unreasonable to describe many formulations thereof as being close enough to warrant the label.  (Weasel words, yes, but important ones.)

You acknowledge that you’re using weasel words, but they’re important ones, so it’s okay.

Social justice and anti-social justice bloggers are united by a mutual love for thesaurus fucking. They talk like they’re bullshitting a English essay, because that’s what they think smart people sound like. Why say “I think you could say it’s a conspiracy theory” when you can say the same thing in twice as many words?

When we look at conspiracy theories, there are a few key elements.  The first is extremely high-level efficient covert organization, the “shadowy cabal” so to speak.  The second is the clear division of the world into “good” and “bad” elements, creating an inherent moral simplicity and tracing all “evil” (so to speak) back to the supposed conspirators.  The third is the concept of overwhelming odds, the idea that the “whistleblower” group is inherently fighting an asymmetric battle against a vastly superior foe.  Two other characteristics are often (but not always) present: the argument of antiquity (ancient conspiracy), and the lack of factual or evidentiary support.  (The latter is generally present, but one example of a factually-supported conspiracy would be Watergate.)  There are many other common characteristics, but we’d describe these ones as the “core” of what makes a conspiracy theory what it is.

That’s…a decent definition, actually. Though I’d add that belief in a conspiracy theory usually means you assume that anyone who doesn’t believe is ignorant or stupid (aka “sheeple”).

So does male-perpetration patriarchy theory meet these criteria?  We would argue that the answer is probably “yes.”

Besides not believing in a conspiracy, this idea I don’t understand is just like a conspiracy theory!

The first criteria is the most obvious: patriarchy theory, in essence, makes the claim that since before the beginning of recorded history men as a class have conspired to subjugate women…

No it doesn’t. It’s not a theory. No one’s claiming that someone just invented the patriarchy one day. Hell, patriarchal attitudes don’t even need to be conscious.

…have succeeded almost completely and universally, and have done so without any evidence of such a conspiracy ever coming to light.

Who’s ever seen any evidence of society favoring men?

They’ve succeeded at doing this despite (for most of history) having no way to communicate with each other over the wider world, and have never (to current knowledge) been overthrown in any major society.

Never in human history has a concept become ingrained in societies across the world without anyone communicating.

The second isn’t hard to see either.  Male-perpetration patriarchy theory neatly divides the world into an “oppressed” and an “oppressor” group, which are conveniently split along sex/gender lines.  Virtually all the evil in the world can be ascribed to the “patriarchy,” which in context is basically equivalent to “men.”

Those silly feminists. If I had a dollar for every time a feminist blames the patriarchy for their problems, I’d have 75 cents!

So what about the “underdog” viewpoint?  Frankly, it’s not hard to see either.  Feminism is one of the dominant social ideologies of our time, receives millions (directly and indirectly) of dollars in government funding, and has more lobbying power than any other social movement we can think of.

That’s why liberals claim there’s a War on Women on the part of the Republican party – because feminists are so powerful! They’ve received millions of dollars from the US government, which they’ve run zero times. Sexism is over!

The top causes among lobbyists seem to be corporations, environmentalism, corporations, government spending, corporations, labor, corporations, Israel and corporations. I have no clue where they found any of this information.

It’s wrought incredible change on our society, both for the better and (all-too-often) for the worse, and it’s been steadily gaining influence throughout the last five decades.  Despite this, many feminists basically claim that nothing’s changed, that society is still completely against them and that they’re a small group of valiant freedom fighters rather than an extremely well-funded lobby industry feared by pretty much everyone.  Feminism, in short, ignores its own power and influence.

This movement that can’t stop people from sending death threats to women who said mildly critical things about video games is a devious, all-powerful force that crushes all in their path. FEAR THEM. FEAR THEM.

I’m simultaneously curious and terrified of learning how feminism’s made society worse in their eyes. Thankfully, they don’t actually say.

Society’s changed, and sexism is a thing of the past. What feminist causes are left besides equal pay and harassment and sexual assault and domestic abuse and industry sexism and…

The remaining two are pretty simple.  The “patriarchy” is generally accepted as coming from antiquity, no meaningful evidence of a global male conspiracy to oppress women, and much feminist evidence regarding the current status of women and men is severely tainted.

The patriarchy just means a society favoring men. It is where misogyny comes from. It is not, in any sense, a literal conspiracy. No one believes it is. No one.

If you’re wondering how the feminist evidence is tainted, keep wondering: they never actually explain how. Instead, we end on this:

Latour’s assertion that conspiracy theorism is to a degree derived from Marxist-inspired critical theory is particularly interesting given the context, as that same theory is a pretty fundamental part of most modern feminism. Surprising?  Not really.  This is something that has in the past affected a number of human rights movements.  Most, however, have largely outgrown it.  Feminism, unfortunately, has not.

Perhaps one day feminism will outgrow the conspiracy theories it doesn’t actually believe in. But unfortunately, not today.